Losing Weight is such a depressing endeavor

[Anonymous]

What if you just stopped trying to lose weight? What if you found other goals that were less miserable, like being able to run a certain distance without walking, or holding a plank a certain length of time. Or doing some activity with your kid or your spouse. What if you made sure you were getting the nutrition and quality foods your body needs to accomplish that goal, but then you just stopped worrying about the odd indulgence here and there that you gave just for the pleasure of it.

What if losing weight sucks because it’s not a particularly worthwhile goal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if you just stopped trying to lose weight? What if you found other goals that were less miserable, like being able to run a certain distance without walking, or holding a plank a certain length of time. Or doing some activity with your kid or your spouse. What if you made sure you were getting the nutrition and quality foods your body needs to accomplish that goal, but then you just stopped worrying about the odd indulgence here and there that you gave just for the pleasure of it.

What if losing weight sucks because it’s not a particularly worthwhile goal?

Are you Twitter person Dr. Elizabeth Sawin, because you are blowing my mind with your simple but far-seeing ideas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if you just stopped trying to lose weight? What if you found other goals that were less miserable, like being able to run a certain distance without walking, or holding a plank a certain length of time. Or doing some activity with your kid or your spouse. What if you made sure you were getting the nutrition and quality foods your body needs to accomplish that goal, but then you just stopped worrying about the odd indulgence here and there that you gave just for the pleasure of it.

What if losing weight sucks because it’s not a particularly worthwhile goal?

I love this idea in theory. However, I love to eat. If i could, I would love to nibble all day, I’d have wine with dinner every night.. If I’m not working at it and feeling deprivation, then I’m gaining weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you just stopped trying to lose weight? What if you found other goals that were less miserable, like being able to run a certain distance without walking, or holding a plank a certain length of time. Or doing some activity with your kid or your spouse. What if you made sure you were getting the nutrition and quality foods your body needs to accomplish that goal, but then you just stopped worrying about the odd indulgence here and there that you gave just for the pleasure of it.

What if losing weight sucks because it’s not a particularly worthwhile goal?

I love this idea in theory. However, I love to eat. If i could, I would love to nibble all day, I’d have wine with dinner every night.. If I’m not working at it and feeling deprivation, then I’m gaining weight.

Ok, I hear you, but what if you set a physical (non-weight) goal for yourself and then worked towards it just to see what happened? I also loooove to eat. But last year I decided I wanted to be able to run 2 miles without having to stop and walk. It’s a pretty low bar, but I’ve always struggled with endurance. I started with one of those “couch to 5k” plans and keep at it. I made no effort to change my diet.

Well, as I got closer to my goal, I found myself making healthier eating choices overall. I chose less heavy dinner options and drank less at night because I knew that would make me drag in the morning when I ran. I shifted to snacks like nuts and dark chocolate, as opposed to chips, for the same reason.

I didn’t transform my eating habits (I still love dessert, still love wine with dinner, still love food). But I hit my 2 mile goal and now I’m working on being able to do unassisted pull-ups. I eat better. Not perfect, and no calorie restriction. But I FEEL so much better. I sleep better. I like how my body looks more— more toned and just fitter overall. Oh and I drink more water and am more hydrated and even my skin looks better.

I just don’t think deprivation will ever get you anywhere long term. You might hit a short term weight loss goal, but it will come back and you’ll wonder why you bothered, because as OP explains, the process to lose that weight is miserable.

Throw the scale away. Find a better goal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you just stopped trying to lose weight? What if you found other goals that were less miserable, like being able to run a certain distance without walking, or holding a plank a certain length of time. Or doing some activity with your kid or your spouse. What if you made sure you were getting the nutrition and quality foods your body needs to accomplish that goal, but then you just stopped worrying about the odd indulgence here and there that you gave just for the pleasure of it.

What if losing weight sucks because it’s not a particularly worthwhile goal?

I love this idea in theory. However, I love to eat. If i could, I would love to nibble all day, I’d have wine with dinner every night.. If I’m not working at it and feeling deprivation, then I’m gaining weight.

Try to set a goal like not nibble for a day. A glass of wine at dinner is ok. No desserts. You’ll get used to it. The rewards will come soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girl, same. Hitting 40 and my already crappy metabolism tanking has been incredibly demoralizing. Working on improving my attitude—also a slow process

You hit 40 already? Plenty of 50 pluses women on here have no issue being normal or underweight.

Bitch.

[Anonymous]

A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.

Something to keep in mind before you indulge.

You're awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It just suck how long the process takes.
I have to suffer and deprive myself just to lose between a half pound and pound a week.
The slow pace is what I find to be the most frustrating thing. After awhile it’s hard to keep up the momentum.

I find it more depressing to keep gaining weight and getting fatter and less fit. So that is why I take the long approach to losing weight. It takes time but you can do it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you just stopped trying to lose weight? What if you found other goals that were less miserable, like being able to run a certain distance without walking, or holding a plank a certain length of time. Or doing some activity with your kid or your spouse. What if you made sure you were getting the nutrition and quality foods your body needs to accomplish that goal, but then you just stopped worrying about the odd indulgence here and there that you gave just for the pleasure of it.

What if losing weight sucks because it’s not a particularly worthwhile goal?

I love this idea in theory. However, I love to eat. If i could, I would love to nibble all day, I’d have wine with dinner every night.. If I’m not working at it and feeling deprivation, then I’m gaining weight.

Ok, I hear you, but what if you set a physical (non-weight) goal for yourself and then worked towards it just to see what happened? I also loooove to eat. But last year I decided I wanted to be able to run 2 miles without having to stop and walk. It’s a pretty low bar, but I’ve always struggled with endurance. I started with one of those “couch to 5k” plans and keep at it. I made no effort to change my diet.

Well, as I got closer to my goal, I found myself making healthier eating choices overall. I chose less heavy dinner options and drank less at night because I knew that would make me drag in the morning when I ran. I shifted to snacks like nuts and dark chocolate, as opposed to chips, for the same reason.

I didn’t transform my eating habits (I still love dessert, still love wine with dinner, still love food). But I hit my 2 mile goal and now I’m working on being able to do unassisted pull-ups. I eat better. Not perfect, and no calorie restriction. But I FEEL so much better. I sleep better. I like how my body looks more— more toned and just fitter overall. Oh and I drink more water and am more hydrated and even my skin looks better.

I just don’t think deprivation will ever get you anywhere long term. You might hit a short term weight loss goal, but it will come back and you’ll wonder why you bothered, because as OP explains, the process to lose that weight is miserable.

Throw the scale away. Find a better goal.

While exercise is great for you and integral to healthy living, "deprivation" aka short term calorie restriction, can result in long term weight loss for lots of people, myself included. Saying that people shouldn't monitor weight or try to reduce if they're obese/overweight goes against all medical advice which has proven that excess pounds really do matter in terms of risk for NAFLD, diabetes, stroke, cancer, and heart disease. And of course covid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girl, same. Hitting 40 and my already crappy metabolism tanking has been incredibly demoralizing. Working on improving my attitude—also a slow process

You hit 40 already? Plenty of 50 pluses women on here have no issue being normal or underweight.

wow that was helpful

Age isn't an excuse for a bad metabolism. Plenty of 20 somethings who are big and stay big even when fit.

That’s not how metabolism works, dipshit.

[Anonymous]

i hear you. i lost 26 pounds last year - half pound a week. Wish it was faster.

I try to focus on the positive - "i resisted that and I am ok" - I see it more of a confidence builder rather than a deprivation. i get excited when i learn about a new low calorie but satisfying food.

I've really enjoyed getting rid of old clothes that I wasn't really crazy about. I'm still in disbelief sometimes about the size medium i'm wearing v. the large and XL.

i'm a fan of the Beck Diet Book. She has a line in there: "when you finally reach your goal - it won't matter how long it took."

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

That’s a reason to keep going, OP! It will take just as long or longer if you tackle it later instead of now, so best to continue your momentum and keep it going rather than starting again. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I agree that struggling to lose weight is often demoralizing. After almost a lifetime of being able to eat whatever I wanted - and definitely developing stress/emotional eating habits, which I saw as not so bad as the addictions all the rest of my addictive personality family engaged in - my weight went haywire after going into surgical menopause at 40 in the midst of a super high stress job AND a years long vitamin deficiency that doctors couldn’t figure out. Now I’m 50 with substantial weight to lose and I really want to lose it so I don’t have the pain and limitations that I’m experiencing from carrying all this extra weight.

I’m doing intermittent fasting which I tolerate very well - I like that it doesn’t demand any restrictions of food categories, although I am cutting back on carbs and sugars.

To get past the depressing bit and the lack of motivation, I signed myself up to Healthy Wage. I’m investing monthly the equivalent to my prior junk food habit, and if I meet my responsible weight loss goal in the time I’ve allowed - a healthy time frame - I will win thousands on top of getting my investment back. There’s a whole support community on Facebook which is also nice, but for me the wager approach is very compelling because I’m not great at taking care of myself ‘just because’, but like most people I’m very motivated by money.

Maybe you should check out Healthy Wage. Good luck, anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if you just stopped trying to lose weight? What if you found other goals that were less miserable, like being able to run a certain distance without walking, or holding a plank a certain length of time. Or doing some activity with your kid or your spouse. What if you made sure you were getting the nutrition and quality foods your body needs to accomplish that goal, but then you just stopped worrying about the odd indulgence here and there that you gave just for the pleasure of it.

What if losing weight sucks because it’s not a particularly worthwhile goal?

Except it is a worthwhile goal, if you care about your health.

[Anonymous]

I am short and curvy, so when I gain weight, it really shows, and is very hard to take off. I don't think my weight goals are unrealisitc, and I am sure most on DCUM would consider me slightly overweight (I don't want to be over 125 at 5'1"). But man, I feel you OP, losing weight is tough, and goes so slowly. It's really, really hard.