When 4 yr old won’t eat what’s for dinner

[Anonymous]

They can have milk while I read books and a banana. But other than that nothing else is coming. I won’t even give seconds of the part of dinner they liked unless they eat the vegetable. This really worked well- my kids are big veggie eaters. We require the vegetable to be eaten before you leave the table. We don’t care if the meat or starch is eaten.

My oldest had such an obsession with milk we had to cut that out too. She wouldn’t eat and just loved to drink milk. Like 1/2 gallon a day! Her poop turned white. This was when she was weaning off breast milk and just wasn’t a fan of food. We still have to watch her and milk at 5 because she’ll go without eating and then fill up on milk. So strange!

[Anonymous]

Absolutely no subs.

We choose the menu, kids choose what they eat. They're very adventurous and not picky eaters but we make sure there's at least one familiar and liked food with every meal. They can eat as much or as little of the food offered as they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely no subs.

We choose the menu, kids choose what they eat. They're very adventurous and not picky eaters but we make sure there's at least one familiar and liked food with every meal. They can eat as much or as little of the food offered as they want.

Do this OP. I didn’t and have a 10 year who still won’t eat what we serve most nights. Don’t be me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you seen the kids eat in color Instagram account? It gives lots of suggestions for this. But basically you are doing the right thing.

https://instagram.com/kids.eat.in.color?igshid=1ssx733nh3t1

is that you? I’ve seen this mentioned several times today. 🧐

[Anonymous]

No subs in our house. I think it’s common around 3-4 to develop power struggles, and for kids to push the boundaries to see what they can get away with. We pretty much just hold firm through that phase. If you don’t care what they eat then go with it. For me personally, I do. I know this is partly cultural on my part and some people might think I am too controlling. It’s just the way my husband and I were raised. Food is a privilege, and when you come to the table you act respectful. We also talk with them about how some eating is for fun and some is for health.

My almost 4 does fuss sometimes about not wanting to eat this or that. We discuss why we are eating proteins, vegetables, what vitamins are in different foods etc. and that seems to help. I don’t force portion sizes and usually there are plenty of options. In general we don’t have big snacks between meals and I think that also helps them fill up at mealtime.

[Anonymous]

No substitutions. I do serve fruit but they cant have endless amounts of it.

They have to sit at the table with us but they don’t have to eat.

I’m not afraid of playing hardball with a 4 year old. As such, my 5.5 and 4 year olds are fantastic eaters. But still, dinner is the lightest meal of their day. They just don’t eat much for dinner!

[Anonymous]

I am a single mom of a 4 year old. I am not cooking alternate meals. Son usually eats like a teenager. The other night I made a stir fry with rice, and he said he didn’t want to eat it and wanted me to make him spaghetti. I told him that I was not going to cook him another meal, and he should eat what he could or get ready for bed. After throwing a mini tantrum, he then ate everything.

Even if he had not eaten his food, it would have been okay because it would mean that he just wasn’t that hungry. I have told him stories about living overseas and how I sometimes did not always like the food but ate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Age in bites.

This is so stupid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Age in bites.

This is so stupid

This was part of another post, There was a typo in the original. It should have said DD has to eat her age in bites to get dessert. It works for us. I know some people dont do dessert every day but we do BUT it is the only time she eats that type of food. We don't give ice cream, brownies, oreos etc as a snack, DD eats pretty healthy the rest of the time.
Its her choice if she wants to eat dinner or not to get dessert, if she doesnt want to she doesnt have to.

[Anonymous]

given that she eats well the rest of the day, is it possible she's just not that hungry at dinner time? I have a 4 year old that is generally a decent eater, but she will balk at what is served for dinner just because she can. She always has a cup of milk (which she likes) and a fruit (which she also likes), so we tell her to start with one of those, and then usually she works her way to eating some of the rest of the meal if we ignore her dramatic facial expressions and what she says about the food, but she also doesn't eat all that much at dinner if she isn't currently in a growth spurt. When she's growing there is much much less complaining about the food options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:given that she eats well the rest of the day, is it possible she's just not that hungry at dinner time? I have a 4 year old that is generally a decent eater, but she will balk at what is served for dinner just because she can. She always has a cup of milk (which she likes) and a fruit (which she also likes), so we tell her to start with one of those, and then usually she works her way to eating some of the rest of the meal if we ignore her dramatic facial expressions and what she says about the food, but she also doesn't eat all that much at dinner if she isn't currently in a growth spurt. When she's growing there is much much less complaining about the food options.

OP- She will almost always have fruit and milk and dinner, but will often refuse what I cooked and ask for a bowl of plain cheerios or plain bran flakes instead. I have been giving it to her thinking is was a phase but it has persisted a while and I don't know if I'm creating a problem with letting her have the fruit and bowl of cereal instead.

[Anonymous]

^ cont...

Or if it is fine and not worth the dinner power struggle to refuse to give her anything but what is actually for dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No subs in my house. I cook at least one thing I know they will like, and they get milk and fruit. One of the things my kids struggled with was/is everything won’t be their favorite.

This. No substitutions, but I do make sure there is something they will eat at every meal. Even if it's bread and butter.

If I feel I messed up on that (having a food they are sure to like) I will offer a bigger bedtime snack than usual. So instead of a banana or cheese stick, I may do toast with peanut butter.

[Anonymous]

My 4 year old will sometimes throw himself on the ground and tell me how gross dinner looks. I always say "ok" and we go about eating our meal. After he's fussed for a few minutes, I insist he sit down at the table with us. I don't mention the food.

Almost always he'll eventually eat my gross food. Just don't make eating the battle. I make sitting at the table the battle that I'll win. The rest is up to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No subs in my house. I cook at least one thing I know they will like, and they get milk and fruit. One of the things my kids struggled with was/is everything won’t be their favorite.

+1

Same. Also, recognize that if kids are eating well the rest of the day they really may not be particularly hungry at dinner. When dinner's over, it's over. They can eat again at breakfast.