Regrets spending so much money on kids’ activities

[Anonymous]

How much did you spend? Do you need the money now?

[Anonymous]

Most people can't afford to "overspend", OP.
We've always been very careful about what to enroll our children in.

[Anonymous]

I think you were showing love.

I wasn’t good at sports and had no activities. I loved tennis though. Because I wasn’t good at it my parents refused to continue lessons. My sister, however, was in 3 sports a semester. It really bummed me out since I liked it so much. I wasnt good enough for the free teams at school and didn’t have a friend who could play on our club courts with me (yep, my neighborhood had its own courts).

[Anonymous]

I have always said that yes, I absolutely want my kids to be happy, have and do things they want, but the costs of kids activities has gotten insane. There are just some times that I like have to be the bad guy and say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the return on investment is that they are happy and hard working adults. A lot of the purpose behind those activities is keeping the kid busy to keep them from getting into trouble. Idle hands are the devil’s playground. The hard thing about parenting is that it isn’t a linear graph to show what the thing was that kept them from avoiding a bad situation or taught them a life lesson. So bottom line I think is that you did the best you could with what you had and your kids turned out great. Not every painter is going to be Picasso, but not being Picasso doesn’t mean one shouldn’t paint.

This. You were basically paying to keep them occupied and non-destructive members of society.

Also one thing the pandemic has taught me is that all those random sports clubs and after-school activities actually keep kids healthy and slim. There are a lot more fat tweens and teens in my group than used to be because they're all sitting at home 24/7.

Since gyms and health clubs are closed or severely restricted as well - same goes for parents.

Why do people keep saying this? It guarantees nothing, maybe so.e kids just don't like trouble. At any rate, I want my kids to be happy, have fun Ect, but, there would be limits. Not interested in spending thousands on activities kids don't need or necessarily even want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the return on investment is that they are happy and hard working adults. A lot of the purpose behind those activities is keeping the kid busy to keep them from getting into trouble. Idle hands are the devil’s playground. The hard thing about parenting is that it isn’t a linear graph to show what the thing was that kept them from avoiding a bad situation or taught them a life lesson. So bottom line I think is that you did the best you could with what you had and your kids turned out great. Not every painter is going to be Picasso, but not being Picasso doesn’t mean one shouldn’t paint.

This. you raised well rounded kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much did you spend? Do you need the money now?

OP—Don’t even want to calculate it now. We don’t need the money now. Our house is paid off, retirement is well funded, college and grad school paid for and plenty of savings for weddings and such. I just second guess myself sometimes. I’ve always been very frugal for myself, but splurged on my kids. I have moments of self-doubt and sometimes feel a lack of appreciation. Worse, in-laws always made snide remarks about my kids being in so many things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the return on investment is that they are happy and hard working adults. A lot of the purpose behind those activities is keeping the kid busy to keep them from getting into trouble. Idle hands are the devil’s playground. The hard thing about parenting is that it isn’t a linear graph to show what the thing was that kept them from avoiding a bad situation or taught them a life lesson. So bottom line I think is that you did the best you could with what you had and your kids turned out great. Not every painter is going to be Picasso, but not being Picasso doesn’t mean one shouldn’t paint.

This. you raised well rounded kids

OP here. Thanks for this.

[Anonymous]

So? Those of us who didn't do a bunch of activities aren't well rounded?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much did you spend? Do you need the money now?

OP—Don’t even want to calculate it now. We don’t need the money now. Our house is paid off, retirement is well funded, college and grad school paid for and plenty of savings for weddings and such. I just second guess myself sometimes. I’ve always been very frugal for myself, but splurged on my kids. I have moments of self-doubt and sometimes feel a lack of appreciation. Worse, in-laws always made snide remarks about my kids being in so many things.

Yawn... Sounds like you're the one that needs a hobby now, OP.

[Anonymous]

You're an asshole. You don't give a kid piano lessons so that you can brag on Facebook 20 years later that they're playing at Carnegie Hall. You give a kid piano lessons to broaden their world, to help them learn rhythm, timing, how to read music (which will help them with math), etc. Are you also upset about that one time you let your daughter bake cookies because she didn't then turn into Rachel Ray?

Kids do things as kids simply to enjoy their childhood and become well-rounded adults with various interests. They don't do it for you to benefit from it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you misunderstood what you were investing in.

One hundred percent. Music is a lifelong gift - the ability to read music, the chance to pick up the instrument at a later, more quiet time of life to enjoy playing (this is me, piano, in my 40s).

The fact that a child busy with sports or dance is maintaining physical fitness, experiencing comraderie and staying out of trouble.

I have no regrets, and I say this as a travel sport and competitive dance mom. But I'm not looking to create a recruited athlete or professional ballerina.

[Anonymous]

I get what you are saying OP. I wish we spent more money traveling as a family to interests places like a safari, or to see the pyramids, or to Surf in Costa Rica than spending all the time and money we spent on sports tournaments, private sports lessons, and teams.

[Anonymous]

Everything you did for your kids enriched their lives and is irreplaceable. Things are meaningless. Experiences are priceless. Your kids are probably grateful for all the experiences you let them have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're an asshole. You don't give a kid piano lessons so that you can brag on Facebook 20 years later that they're playing at Carnegie Hall. You give a kid piano lessons to broaden their world, to help them learn rhythm, timing, how to read music (which will help them with math), etc. Are you also upset about that one time you let your daughter bake cookies because she didn't then turn into Rachel Ray?

Kids do things as kids simply to enjoy their childhood and become well-rounded adults with various interests. They don't do it for you to benefit from it.

Why do you have to be so mean and immature? The OP is not an asshole. There is a nicer way to say what you want to say than calling people names. Get a soul.