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If both of YOUR parents worked full-time ...
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Anonymous
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Two full-time working parents, born in 1970. What I can remember liking: we had housekeepers, college students, etc. there in the afternoons whom I liked a lot. I was always very independent, went to library, after school events by myself. I have always been very independent and had a strong sense of myself.
What didn't work: too much responsibility; being expected to handle housekeys too early; manage complex chores, start dinner on my own too early. |
Anonymous
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I suppose my mother was considered a SAH, but b/c we owned a restaurant, which was mostly established, my dad was also a "SAH" most of the time!
And although he had erratic hours from time to time, he never worked a 9-5. My grandmother, however, was up at the crack of dawn b/c she worked for the family 'biz, too, making fresh dough each morning. And I do have memories of being wrapped up in a blanket and being brought to the restaurant on weekends and days off b/c Mom had to assist in some way - either preparing food, doing inventory, or doing the books. It was a great childhood, I'd say, b/c I was surrounded by working parents but had the benefits of both also being home for much of my day! |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
| Latch-key kid, starting at age 8. Wouldn't recommend it. |
Anonymous
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Mom stayed home. Dad worked - all the time. Never saw him.
He has since retired, feels a lot of guilt. It has taken a long time for him to rebuild his relationship with my brother because he gets defensive. Yes, he supported us, but there was no balance. Not the model I wanted for my kids - we both work and DH is much more involved. He does drop off and pick up, gets to work later than most dads and leaves much earlier. I work longer days but fewer days of the week. I can't imagine it any other way. DH makes a lot less than my dad but loves his job, and I love mine, and there is not as much pressure for him since we both make decent money. I believe all kinds of family set ups can work, but this is the one I'm most comfortable with for us. |
Anonymous
| One of the things that I remember was our summer vacations. We didn't have much money, so we spent a lot of time camping. I look back at all the effort my parents made on those trips, and I am very grateful. Also, we had dinner together every night as a family at 6:00. That was great having everyone around a big table. |
Anonymous
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It sounds like my experiences were different from most of the PP because we never had money. My father was enlisted military and was deployed most of the time. My mother was a nurse and worked incredibly hard. I was a latch-key child and remember having to get myself to the bus stop by myself from 3rd grade on. No parents were ever at the bus stop with their kids, even elementary school. AFter school, I would be home by myself until my siblings came home. But, I never considered myself deprived-it was just the way it was. Nobody in my neighborhood had soccer moms-we just played kickball in the street after school.
On the plus side of things, my mom's work schedule by necessity made my siblings and I depend on each other more. And, we did do family things-on Sundays, we would ride around and look at "nice houses" and my sister and mom would LOVE to tour the model homes. And, my brother would make Cream of Wheat with extra lumps for a dinner treat and we would eat and watch Gilligan's Island together. I am smiling as I write this so the memories are pretty good! |
Anonymous
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Another latch-key kid starting when my mom went back to work - K? 1st grade? Too young - ate a lot of canned beans. Cut my hand once because I wanted an apple. Started smoking at 12 because there was no one around to do anything about it!
So that's what didn't work - what DID work? Well, My mom put in 40 years at her job - and now she has her own home, a great retirement + health benefits and her kids don't have to worry about her financially. Was it worth it? You'd have to ask her- i'm sure she'd say yes. She was divorced and did her best. I am fiercely independent and very resourceful. I think this comes from being a latch-key kid. I also hate to be told what to do - any sort of "parenting" like, from my MIL - can't take it. Love to be alone, can't stand it when I feel like I'm being watched. I had a brilliant career before I decided to do SAH. Now my kid is in K and I'm returning to school to get a teaching certificate so I can have another brilliant career, AND have the same hours as my child. Good luck-Dr Sears recommends co-sleeping as a way for busy families to connect. It works for us- Don't want to open THAT can of worms but it is one way of connecting. |
Anonymous
| I was born in the late 60s. My mom went back to work full time when I was in 5th grade and my youngest brother was in K. We had our grandmother (her mom) move in with us, so an adult was always home when we got home. But she didn't exactly take care of us or anything. We usually called mom when we got home. I had 2 younger brothers and an older sister. My sister and I primarily watched our younger brothers. Mom cooked dinner when she got home around 5. Dad came home at about 7. |
Anonymous
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I had a really positive experience growing up with working parents. I think one of the keys for my parents was having a lot of people to help out. We grew up in a working class neighborhood where everybody's parents worked full time, so even though we were technically latch-key kids, it never felt like we were alone or without oversight. We connected at dinnertime and on weekends and are all still really close.
Another key is that my parents went out of their way to try to have one "special" thing they did one-on-one with each of us on a regular basis. My dad coached my basketball team and my mom and I would go spend an afternoon at the library every other weekend, and those were always "our" things that we only did together. This is the model I'm trying to follow with my own kids, and I certainly hope it works as well the second time around, though there's more aftercare and less ten-year-olds overseeing five-year-olds  .
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Anonymous
| My single mom went back to work when I went to 1st grade. What got us through was a little old lady in the neighborhood- literally on our walk to/from school - where we would stop before and/or after school and play/eat/watch t.v. until our momz came by after work. We called her Auntie Helen and we ate spaghetti-Os and beanie-weenies and tomato soup with saltine crackers. She never had enough books and I was bored out of my mind - especially if there were no other kids that day. She would take us on her errands and sometimes we'd go to the park and get mcdonalds milk shakes. (No seatbelts - let alone car seats!) I think I stopped going in 6th grade. It was all downhill from there. |
Anonymous
| What worked is that we had what we called a "housekeeper" - someone who worked 40 hours a week watching 3 kids and cleaning a 12-room 4 story house for $200 a week(!) but that was in the 1970's... |
Anonymous
Sorry to have to say this, but with all that cleaning to do, she couldn't have done too much child "watching". Tell us how you remember her getting all that done. |
Anonymous
| My mother worked full-time once I was in middle school or so. My dad worked full-time throughout my childhood. What worked: both of my parents left work at 5 p.m. and had very short commutes (15 minutes?). They were always home before 5:30 and we ate dinner as a family together every night, until I was in high school at least and had more of my own schedule. Both of my parents also had jobs that they didn't have to bring home with them. My mom's job was also really flexible so she picked me up at school a lot if I had after school activities and always stayed home with me when I was sick. When I was home alone in the afternoons (after age 11/12), they called to check on me and kept close tabs on me and what I was doing. Even though I didn't have direct supervision for a couple of hours, I never felt like I could get away with much (nor was I the type to try). |
Anonymous
Me too, and I was an only child. Born in 1972 and walked home about a mile from the bus stop each day - usually with other kids. Never really thought anything of it though and I wasn't scared. I did not really mind being a latch key kid and am quite comfortable even now being alone and doing my own thing. When I was in high school before I got my license, I used to take the city bus from school to my ballet classes and my father would pick me up after them. On the days I didn't have classes, I used to wait at school until 5-6 o'clock - often times it was just me, one other student, and the janitors! But it really didn't bother me. The one thing I do remember missing is that I really wanted my parents to be chaperones on field trips and was always envious of the parents who came on them. I remember once in about 4th grade my mom came with us and I was so happy. Also, I missed having them at sporting events, but they tried to get to a couple games. That said, I know they worked so they could afford to send me to private school and I don't have any resentment of them for that. Summers were spent at a friend's house who had 3 kids - some of my favorite childhood memories are from that time. |