How do 2 full time working parents make it work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ah good point! Forgot to add I don’t want to do before care. I feel like we’re hardly with our kids the way it is. They are so little and the days are so long. Want to avoid if I can. The Kindergartner could do before care if absolutely necessary. -OP

I don't get it. Are you concerned about getting enough time with your kids? Or do your restrictive work schedules make the logistics of kids in two different schools difficult? Either you flex your work to manage your kids' need, or you pay someone to handle the logistics. The paying someone can involve a nanny or before/after care. Time spent in a car driving your kid is still time spent.

FWIW, I've got a 1st grader and pre-schooler. We kept the kids' nanny, even pre-pandemic, so she could drive kids to their schools, handle the frequent days off that an elementary school child has, handle sick days, etc. She had always grocery shopped, cooked, and run errands for us...and she continued to do that during the hours pre-schooler was at school. Sure, pre-pandemic she was probably not working as "hard" as she did when the kids were babies and toddlers, but it was/is still worth it for us...and, frankly, after dealing with two babies/toddlers for years she deserved a slower period in her professional life. COVID has obviously ruined that completely.

[Anonymous]

Ummm...working mothers are leaving the workforce by droves in case you didn't notice?

[Anonymous]

The make it work very poorly. Then the kids leave for college. That's how it plays out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ah good point! Forgot to add I don’t want to do before care. I feel like we’re hardly with our kids the way it is. They are so little and the days are so long. Want to avoid if I can. The Kindergartner could do before care if absolutely necessary. -OP

Might want to rethink that, at least when both kids are at the same school. It’s incredibly hard to find help for just a few hours a day in the morning and/or afternoon. Plus before and after care is really just a play date. My kid loves it. She gets to spend extra time playing with school friends and I don’t have to set up play dates and get to keep my FT job without rushing around or being late. Everyone wins.

[Anonymous]

Many schools have high quality before and after care programs. Mine was at LAMB for elementary school and they had all sorts of extracurriculars like dance and robotics. There was a lot of stability among the care providers. We didn't need before care, but it was run by the same folks. I think the kids who did do before care entered the classroom more alert and ready to learn than kids like mine since they'd already settled into their day. I've never understood the whole "it's a long day" comment since all I did as a kid with a SAHM was wander around aimlessly when I wasn't in school.

[Anonymous]

9:20 is seriously late. Is that when K starts? Ours is 9-2:30 which I think is ridiculous. 9:20 is even worse. I wish to god school times were at least 8 hours. I get that kids don’t need longer academic days, make the last hours PE or recess. Just stop the burden on working parents

To answer your question, I live 2 miles from work. Dh and I trade off drop off and pickup. Pre pandemic I could telework one day a week so Dh worked long hours on that day. Currently I telework full and telework until late at night most days. I work 11 hours a day and don’t mind picking up my kids. My boss only cares about my work and I put in way more hours than necessary.

[Anonymous]

We kept our nanny. There was no other way for us and so much better than extended care. It’s a financial sacrifice but worth it to have loving and dependable care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:9:20 is seriously late. Is that when K starts? Ours is 9-2:30 which I think is ridiculous. 9:20 is even worse. I wish to god school times were at least 8 hours. I get that kids don’t need longer academic days, make the last hours PE or recess. Just stop the burden on working parents

To answer your question, I live 2 miles from work. Dh and I trade off drop off and pickup. Pre pandemic I could telework one day a week so Dh worked long hours on that day. Currently I telework full and telework until late at night most days. I work 11 hours a day and don’t mind picking up my kids. My boss only cares about my work and I put in way more hours than necessary.

Let's just make the workday shorter. 8 hours is a long time for kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9:20 is seriously late. Is that when K starts? Ours is 9-2:30 which I think is ridiculous. 9:20 is even worse. I wish to god school times were at least 8 hours. I get that kids don’t need longer academic days, make the last hours PE or recess. Just stop the burden on working parents

To answer your question, I live 2 miles from work. Dh and I trade off drop off and pickup. Pre pandemic I could telework one day a week so Dh worked long hours on that day. Currently I telework full and telework until late at night most days. I work 11 hours a day and don’t mind picking up my kids. My boss only cares about my work and I put in way more hours than necessary.

Let's just make the workday shorter. 8 hours is a long time for kids.

Seriously? Most of us have actual jobs to do in the real world. More than 5.5 hours worth. Why can’t school sports be done during that time or recess?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9:20 is seriously late. Is that when K starts? Ours is 9-2:30 which I think is ridiculous. 9:20 is even worse. I wish to god school times were at least 8 hours. I get that kids don’t need longer academic days, make the last hours PE or recess. Just stop the burden on working parents

To answer your question, I live 2 miles from work. Dh and I trade off drop off and pickup. Pre pandemic I could telework one day a week so Dh worked long hours on that day. Currently I telework full and telework until late at night most days. I work 11 hours a day and don’t mind picking up my kids. My boss only cares about my work and I put in way more hours than necessary.

Let's just make the workday shorter. 8 hours is a long time for kids.

Why shouldn't school be longer? They are with their friends - aftercare the kids play and do homework so when I come to pick up at 6 pm he's had his time with friends; he's gotten his homework done and we can chill out as a family, enjoy dinner without school stuff and bed.

Kid goes to sleep at 8 pm and then I work to get ahead on projects and/or make up for leaving early or coming in late because of the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9:20 is seriously late. Is that when K starts? Ours is 9-2:30 which I think is ridiculous. 9:20 is even worse. I wish to god school times were at least 8 hours. I get that kids don’t need longer academic days, make the last hours PE or recess. Just stop the burden on working parents

To answer your question, I live 2 miles from work. Dh and I trade off drop off and pickup. Pre pandemic I could telework one day a week so Dh worked long hours on that day. Currently I telework full and telework until late at night most days. I work 11 hours a day and don’t mind picking up my kids. My boss only cares about my work and I put in way more hours than necessary.

Let's just make the workday shorter. 8 hours is a long time for kids.

Why shouldn't school be longer? They are with their friends - aftercare the kids play and do homework so when I come to pick up at 6 pm he's had his time with friends; he's gotten his homework done and we can chill out as a family, enjoy dinner without school stuff and bed.

Kid goes to sleep at 8 pm and then I work to get ahead on projects and/or make up for leaving early or coming in late because of the kid.

You spend 2 hours with your child per day and you're advocating for even longer school days?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9:20 is seriously late. Is that when K starts? Ours is 9-2:30 which I think is ridiculous. 9:20 is even worse. I wish to god school times were at least 8 hours. I get that kids don’t need longer academic days, make the last hours PE or recess. Just stop the burden on working parents

To answer your question, I live 2 miles from work. Dh and I trade off drop off and pickup. Pre pandemic I could telework one day a week so Dh worked long hours on that day. Currently I telework full and telework until late at night most days. I work 11 hours a day and don’t mind picking up my kids. My boss only cares about my work and I put in way more hours than necessary.

Let's just make the workday shorter. 8 hours is a long time for kids.

Seriously? Most of us have actual jobs to do in the real world. More than 5.5 hours worth. Why can’t school sports be done during that time or recess?

I can't imagine making 8 hour school days mandatory just to fill it with fluff. School is not a babysitter. Take some of that money you're making from your big real world job and hire a nanny or extended care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:9:20 is seriously late. Is that when K starts? Ours is 9-2:30 which I think is ridiculous. 9:20 is even worse. I wish to god school times were at least 8 hours. I get that kids don’t need longer academic days, make the last hours PE or recess. Just stop the burden on working parents

To answer your question, I live 2 miles from work. Dh and I trade off drop off and pickup. Pre pandemic I could telework one day a week so Dh worked long hours on that day. Currently I telework full and telework until late at night most days. I work 11 hours a day and don’t mind picking up my kids. My boss only cares about my work and I put in way more hours than necessary.

Yeah, I'm surprised by such a late start time! In DC, I think all the elementaries start by 9am, some as early as 8am. How we made it work the one year the kids were in different schools: Parent A dropped off Child A at school on the way into work, child A went to aftercare, Parent A picked up Child A on the way home from work. Parent B dropped Child B off at daycare near the office, and brought Child B home after work. Daycare was selected in a large part due to proximity to Parent B's office. Everyone got home around 5:30-6pm and we scrambled to get dinner together so the kids could be in bed by 8pm. Dinner especially was really hectic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our oldest will be in kindergarten next year. We recently let our nanny go. Kids are together in preschool now and with the pandemic we have been able to make drop off and pick up work. Next year when we are at 2 different schools with one not starting until 9:20am how do we both keep our full time jobs? I have flex hours so I can leave work early enough to rush to both schools and get kids. Husband can drop off at one school in AM but cannot do 9:20 because he wouldn’t get to work until 10:30! Seriously, how can both parents work full time and have kids in school without help? I don’t want to hire a nanny because they would have nothing to do all day. Do I get a housekeeper that drives? Au pair? Help!

We don’t. We keep the nanny and she evolves over time to cook, housekeeper, grocery shopper and errand runner, homework helper and driver. You can do it half-time if you can’t pay full time.

[Anonymous]

You have to stagger your start times. It’s difficult. Meal prepping over the weekend is critical.