Am I Being Unrealistic?

[Anonymous]

Give yourself the lifestyle you want, first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I want a guy with a good career, makes at least $150k/year, lives alone, never been married, and no kids. I prefer white men, in shape but not too muscular, no tattoos, no facial hair ( a little stubble is okay), and short hair. My lifestyle is having 2-3 kids and being able to live a comfortable life. We would have money to pay for childcare, family vacations, college, etc.

You can’t do all that with 150k. You need a guy who can bring in 400k or more.

[Anonymous]

Hmm, and how much do you make? And how attractive are you?
I think having this list going in will scare off a lot of guys, unless you are trophy wife material, which you are not if you are single at 32.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I’m attractive, make $120k/year, single, no kids, and never married. I just do not find facial hair and tattoos attractive. I was in a relationship for the last two years that ended recently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I want a guy with a good career, makes at least $150k/year, lives alone, never been married, and no kids. I prefer white men, in shape but not too muscular, no tattoos, no facial hair ( a little stubble is okay), and short hair. My lifestyle is having 2-3 kids and being able to live a comfortable life. We would have money to pay for childcare, family vacations, college, etc.

I married one of those at almost 32. But he expected me to make at least 100k (which I did) and never stop working ever...no break for kids...none except maternity leave (which I took only 6 weeks because my job is demanding). We are divorced. Terrible marriage. You need to think differently. Respect and kindness are not on you list. They should be. If they guy is not respectful or kind, his 150k+ salary is not going to give you the "lifestyle" you want. A guy who makes less who cares about what you want as a family might be a better fit. I was 40% of the household income. The man you think you are looking for often also expect women to do two jobs--raising a family and be a working mom with a stressful job--they will not necessarily want to provide it for you.

[Anonymous]

OP, what you are seeking is not unrealistic.

I’m willing to believe you’re attractive if you say you are, but your partner will most likely need to match your looks or be a little worse. I say this because the best looking guys who fit your criteria and want 2-3 kids are usually married by 32 or seeking a younger spouse.

Not always and I’m ready for all the anecdotes that are not like this, but those are the exception. (And those stories tend to come with rose-colored glasses about the attractiveness of their spouse).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I want a guy with a good career, makes at least $150k/year, lives alone, never been married, and no kids. I prefer white men, in shape but not too muscular, no tattoos, no facial hair ( a little stubble is okay), and short hair. My lifestyle is having 2-3 kids and being able to live a comfortable life. We would have money to pay for childcare, family vacations, college, etc.

I married one of those at almost 32. But he expected me to make at least 100k (which I did) and never stop working ever...no break for kids...none except maternity leave (which I took only 6 weeks because my job is demanding). We are divorced. Terrible marriage. You need to think differently. Respect and kindness are not on you list. They should be. If they guy is not respectful or kind, his 150k+ salary is not going to give you the "lifestyle" you want. A guy who makes less who cares about what you want as a family might be a better fit. I was 40% of the household income. The man you think you are looking for often also expect women to do two jobs--raising a family and be a working mom with a stressful job--they will not necessarily want to provide it for you.

Isn't that normal? My DH is a biglaw partner and also would be very opposed to me taking a "break for kids."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I want a guy with a good career, makes at least $150k/year, lives alone, never been married, and no kids. I prefer white men, in shape but not too muscular, no tattoos, no facial hair ( a little stubble is okay), and short hair. My lifestyle is having 2-3 kids and being able to live a comfortable life. We would have money to pay for childcare, family vacations, college, etc.

You’re a troll. And a bad one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what you are seeking is not unrealistic.

I’m willing to believe you’re attractive if you say you are, but your partner will most likely need to match your looks or be a little worse. I say this because the best looking guys who fit your criteria and want 2-3 kids are usually married by 32 or seeking a younger spouse.

Not always and I’m ready for all the anecdotes that are not like this, but those are the exception. (And those stories tend to come with rose-colored glasses about the attractiveness of their spouse).

OP here. I’m not expecting a super hot guy or model or anything. I actually prefer guys that look a little dorky. The respectful and kind things are a given. I listed the more superficial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I want a guy with a good career, makes at least $150k/year, lives alone, never been married, and no kids. I prefer white men, in shape but not too muscular, no tattoos, no facial hair ( a little stubble is okay), and short hair. My lifestyle is having 2-3 kids and being able to live a comfortable life. We would have money to pay for childcare, family vacations, college, etc.

I married one of those at almost 32. But he expected me to make at least 100k (which I did) and never stop working ever...no break for kids...none except maternity leave (which I took only 6 weeks because my job is demanding). We are divorced. Terrible marriage. You need to think differently. Respect and kindness are not on you list. They should be. If they guy is not respectful or kind, his 150k+ salary is not going to give you the "lifestyle" you want. A guy who makes less who cares about what you want as a family might be a better fit. I was 40% of the household income. The man you think you are looking for often also expect women to do two jobs--raising a family and be a working mom with a stressful job--they will not necessarily want to provide it for you.

Isn't that normal? My DH is a biglaw partner and also would be very opposed to me taking a "break for kids."

Serious question, but what’s the point of a having a partner working all those hours in big law and making all that money if you can’t get off the treadmill ever to take care of your kids when they’re babies? I don’t get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what you are seeking is not unrealistic.

I’m willing to believe you’re attractive if you say you are, but your partner will most likely need to match your looks or be a little worse. I say this because the best looking guys who fit your criteria and want 2-3 kids are usually married by 32 or seeking a younger spouse.

Not always and I’m ready for all the anecdotes that are not like this, but those are the exception. (And those stories tend to come with rose-colored glasses about the attractiveness of their spouse).

OP here. I’m not expecting a super hot guy or model or anything. I actually prefer guys that look a little dorky. The respectful and kind things are a given. I listed the more superficial.

You should be fine. Make sure your friends know you’re seeking and willing to be introduced to men. And be on the apps as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I want a guy with a good career, makes at least $150k/year, lives alone, never been married, and no kids. I prefer white men, in shape but not too muscular, no tattoos, no facial hair ( a little stubble is okay), and short hair. My lifestyle is having 2-3 kids and being able to live a comfortable life. We would have money to pay for childcare, family vacations, college, etc.

I married one of those at almost 32. But he expected me to make at least 100k (which I did) and never stop working ever...no break for kids...none except maternity leave (which I took only 6 weeks because my job is demanding). We are divorced. Terrible marriage. You need to think differently. Respect and kindness are not on you list. They should be. If they guy is not respectful or kind, his 150k+ salary is not going to give you the "lifestyle" you want. A guy who makes less who cares about what you want as a family might be a better fit. I was 40% of the household income. The man you think you are looking for often also expect women to do two jobs--raising a family and be a working mom with a stressful job--they will not necessarily want to provide it for you.

Isn't that normal? My DH is a biglaw partner and also would be very opposed to me taking a "break for kids."

Serious question, but what’s the point of a having a partner working all those hours in big law and making all that money if you can’t get off the treadmill ever to take care of your kids when they’re babies? I don’t get it.

Dual income in the low six figures like OP is seeking is certainly doable without killing yourself for your career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m attractive, make $120k/year, single, no kids, and never married. I just do not find facial hair and tattoos attractive. I was in a relationship for the last two years that ended recently.

OP, if you are in DC I find what you are looking for an unrealistic. my DH makes about $130K and I make $160K. we have two kids and a house in a nice area of DC. however, house is small fixer upper, with 1 full bathroom, nice homes in my area (upper NW) start around $1.2-1.3M these days, and unless you an an apt to sell or help from parents (we had neither) you will not be able to buy a nice house daycare is $$$$$ and a nanny is even more, three kids is something rich people can have, or poor, but not the ones in between. mortgage, retirement, college funds, and you don't really live a lavish life. if your goal is getting a guy who can help you live a certain lifestyle, then the guy should make at the very least $300K, but that' the minimum

[Anonymous]

Single nurse thread all over again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single nurse thread all over again

OP here. I’m not an nurse or in healthcare.