As a parent, I feel strongly about...

[Anonymous]

Teaching them to be empathetic and confident enough in themselves to be able to say no to friends. Teaching them to not be materialistic.

My kids are 8 and 10 but I do still feel pretty strongly about not putting infants in daycare. No judgment on people who do as we don’t all have the choice. And of course I support the movement for paid parental leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teaching them to be empathetic and confident enough in themselves to be able to say no to friends. Teaching them to not be materialistic.

My kids are 8 and 10 but I do still feel pretty strongly about not putting infants in daycare. No judgment on people who do as we don’t all have the choice. And of course I support the movement for paid parental leave.

I feel terrible saying this because I know so many families that did it, but I agree on not putting infants in daycare. I'm a big supporter of paid leave and I wish we had a culture that supported both parents taking time off work to be with very young children. Not just the policy support but also that this was something more parents wanted to do and were willing to do. I think our reliance on daycare and nannies has been so normalized that people lose patience or understanding for young children, expecting them to operate as adult do in corporate settings -- with compliance. I think it's messing us up as a culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want my kids to be generous in every way. Generous with a smile, generous with friendship, generous with their possessions. Just generous. It’s all that truly matters.

How do you teach that? How did you learn to teach that?

My parents are extremely generous people. I learned from them. I hope I’m modeling it for my kids.

With my own kids, I’ve always talked about how other people feel; how sometimes the simplest things we can make others feel good. Once my oldest started preschool we read the book about filling other peoples’ buckets.

I hope it works!

[Anonymous]

Raising kids who are kind, curious about the world and others, and passionate about something - doesn't matter what it is, could be a job which would be ideal since you spend most of your time at work but it also could be a hobby, a cause, family, etc.

[Anonymous]

I want my kid to have friends, and be friendly. He has no friends, he's kinda friendly, and he's more like my DH than me. Not necessarily a bad thing, but not necessarily a good thing either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teaching them to be empathetic and confident enough in themselves to be able to say no to friends. Teaching them to not be materialistic.

My kids are 8 and 10 but I do still feel pretty strongly about not putting infants in daycare. No judgment on people who do as we don’t all have the choice. And of course I support the movement for paid parental leave.

I feel terrible saying this because I know so many families that did it, but I agree on not putting infants in daycare. I'm a big supporter of paid leave and I wish we had a culture that supported both parents taking time off work to be with very young children. Not just the policy support but also that this was something more parents wanted to do and were willing to do. I think our reliance on daycare and nannies has been so normalized that people lose patience or understanding for young children, expecting them to operate as adult do in corporate settings -- with compliance. I think it's messing us up as a culture.

NP. I did feel strongly about this and stayed home with my kids until they were both in school. But I had PPD for the first year of my oldest DC's life. And now that they are both in middle school, I no longer think it matters as much as I thought it did.

There is an overall lack of knowledge of children but that has to do with the small nuclear families, not daycare, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Right now ...

Having a lot of hard copy library books around the house to try to somewhat be like the classroom / school library they’re missing with DL

Making sure everyone goes to bed at a decent time

Having dinner together most nights

Reading to each kid before bed

Having the kids get outside for 15 mins before DL to approximate walking to school and having them outside together for 30 minutes for “recess”

I try to pick a few things to focus and this is where I am at now.

[Anonymous]

I have a two-year-old and a newborn. I do feel strongly about having an educated, loving nanny over daycare or even my sole involvement. Our nanny has a masters in Early Childhood Development and has years of teaching experience. She has a skill set that DH and I simply don’t have and knowledge we don’t possess. I’ve always worked from home so I see how nanny engages and teaches my children. And how she loves them.

It’s also important to me to breastfeed at the breast and not to do any sort of cry-it-out sleep training. I believe firmly in the “fourth-trimester” concept of holding a newborn as much as humanly possible in the first three months.

[Anonymous]

-Prioritizing sleep
-Cultivating empathy and integrity. I have no desire to raise kids who live in a bubble—I want them to be empathic and still stand up for what they believe is right
-Helping my kids learn to get along with folks from all walks of life
-Not pushing them overly hard in academics or sports

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a two-year-old and a newborn. I do feel strongly about having an educated, loving nanny over daycare or even my sole involvement. Our nanny has a masters in Early Childhood Development and has years of teaching experience. She has a skill set that DH and I simply don’t have and knowledge we don’t possess. I’ve always worked from home so I see how nanny engages and teaches my children. And how she loves them.

It’s also important to me to breastfeed at the breast and not to do any sort of cry-it-out sleep training. I believe firmly in the “fourth-trimester” concept of holding a newborn as much as humanly possible in the first three months.

+1. I believe in the vital importance of the first three years of life. We sacrificed greatly to afford our college educated, former teacher nanny long before it was popular or possible. Both of my kids have always been great, excited learners, in large part, thanks to their nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a two-year-old and a newborn. I do feel strongly about having an educated, loving nanny over daycare or even my sole involvement. Our nanny has a masters in Early Childhood Development and has years of teaching experience. She has a skill set that DH and I simply don’t have and knowledge we don’t possess. I’ve always worked from home so I see how nanny engages and teaches my children. And how she loves them.

It’s also important to me to breastfeed at the breast and not to do any sort of cry-it-out sleep training. I believe firmly in the “fourth-trimester” concept of holding a newborn as much as humanly possible in the first three months.

+1. I believe in the vital importance of the first three years of life. We sacrificed greatly to afford our college educated, former teacher nanny long before it was popular or possible. Both of my kids have always been great, excited learners, in large part, thanks to their nanny.

I don’t think “having a nanny” is a parenting value. If your nanny is how you get at your value of education and enthusiasm for learning, great. But I know lots and lots of kids who have this without a nanny, including my own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teaching them to be empathetic and confident enough in themselves to be able to say no to friends. Teaching them to not be materialistic.

My kids are 8 and 10 but I do still feel pretty strongly about not putting infants in daycare. No judgment on people who do as we don’t all have the choice. And of course I support the movement for paid parental leave.

I feel terrible saying this because I know so many families that did it, but I agree on not putting infants in daycare. I'm a big supporter of paid leave and I wish we had a culture that supported both parents taking time off work to be with very young children. Not just the policy support but also that this was something more parents wanted to do and were willing to do. I think our reliance on daycare and nannies has been so normalized that people lose patience or understanding for young children, expecting them to operate as adult do in corporate settings -- with compliance. I think it's messing us up as a culture.

I disagree. Not about paid parental leave but about infants and daycare. It's not daycare or nanny vs. parent that is the issue, it's just the quality of care, whoever gives it.

The key is supporting parents in a myriad of ways. Good prenatal care for all mothers. Excellent child care options available to those that want it. Paid parental leave for after the birth and longer for those that want it. Excellent education at all levels.

I fear this attitude will never gain a foothold in capitalist America. We don't like people to take vacations or have kids. No one wants to pay taxes to have better schools. Most people don't value teachers.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the priority of empathy and would add to it a sense of personal responsibility. Too many people these days don't want to take responsibility for themselves and their choices. They see problems but they whine about them but do nothing to fix them.

empathy
personal responsibility
work ethic
independence of thought
appreciation for what they have
love of nature
meaningful relationships

A person can live a happy life if they approach each day with a sense of appreciation and purpose.

[Anonymous]

I feel really strongly about teaching an openness to experience and cultivating curiosity. My kindergarten kid loves setting up her own experiments (with a control!) to answer her own questions. Raising kids hasn’t been easy for me, but witnessing that part has been the best.

[Anonymous]

Good manners, putting family first, being there for each other.