Convince me to have more than 1
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Anonymous
Doesn't sound like it's the right time to be considering another child, given your child's age and financial concerns. 37 vs. 38/39 isn't that different, but may make a big difference in terms of how easy things will be with your current toddler. I wouldn't feel pressured to make that decision right now--put it off for a year and reevaluate. |
Anonymous
| The single greatest thing you can do for climate change is have less kids. So if that is important to you... |
Anonymous
Different poster. I was pregnant with second one when first child was 2.5 years old. During the pregnancy, I send my first one daycare. At the end of pregnancy, first one was 3 years old, transitioned well at daycare, fully potty trained day & night, and slept by himself. That made my life much more easier with a newborn. And newborn slept through the night without feeding at 2 months old. |
Anonymous
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Some of the happiest people I know have only 1 kid. My sister is on the 4+ kids or bust path (no clue why) and she honestly seems exhausted and miserable.
Full disclosure I have two girls, but honestly could have been happy with 1. (No disrespect to DD2.) |
Anonymous
See I disagree. My first was waaaaay easier at 15 months than 2, 3, 4. My kids are stubborn and headstrong but it hadn’t yet emerged at 15 months. |
Anonymous
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The way to look at it is this - do you want to have a second child (in the long run) - if so, don't wait, go ahead and have your second and accept the exhaustion that will come with it.
Really there is no way around it! Waiting (at age 37) won't help, it only makes it harder all around. You just be more tired at an older age. You might end up having to get fertility treatments etc. |
Anonymous
Hello, no they don't. Please poll your friends from large families.... |
Anonymous
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Nope. Stick with one. Sure, you have make sure he gets socialization and he'll have to learn to be someone independent. But if you have two, you also have to worry about sibling rivalry. It's a wash.
With one, it's easier to travel and you can do more interesting things. You'll have more energy, both for your kid and for your relationship and career. Studies have shown that mothers peak in happiness with one kid and it declines with each subsequent child. That doesn't mean all moms regret having multiple kids (I'm sure many would have it no other way), but those childhood years are tough and with each additional child you are adding years of being the primary parent. It is much harder on women. I love our family of three and wouldn't have it any other way. I fretted about having a second when my kid was that age, too, and got lots of pressure from friends and family. I also loved the baby stage and was a bit sad to realize I wouldn't do it again. But I'm so glad I resisted the pressure. Plus, as we start thinking about both her college costs and our own retirement, I love that we have so many more options both for her and for us. Having a second might not have strained our finances that much when they were small, but wow can you give your kids more opportunities when they are older if you limit how many kids you have. When our kid has an interest or an opportunity, it's rare that we can't make an investment in it. And we can do that without having to have two high pressure or high paying jobs -- we've both always chosen work/life balance over ambition, so we've gotten to enjoy our lives and still have enough for college and retirement. If we'd had a second, we would have had to make different, less appealing choices, in order to give them both the same opportunities. So no, I won't convince you to have another. If it's what you want, you'll do it anyway. But I am here to tell you that you can live an amazing, happy life with an only child and I would recommend it to anyone who is considering it. |
Anonymous
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1 is amazing. I love having an only. It's the best of both worlds. I have mom time and mom friends, but still plenty of time for "me" time and selfish hobbies that aren't kid friendly.
The first 3 years sucked. Then preschool was an option and life was so much better. Hang in there! |
Anonymous
No they don't, especially if they are like mine. |
Anonymous
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It depends what you want from life. How do you see yourself and your family life in 10+ years? Do you see yourself having only 1 child or would you prefer having multiple? The difficult phase is short...
There are many obvious negatives and positives About having multiple. Apart from some of the ones mentioned above, I can tell you that by the time my second turned 2/2.5, my girls started playing together all the time and are the best of friends (of course they also fight). I don’t even want to imagine how sad and lonely my oldest Would have been during these months. Also, after the first turns 2 or so things became really easy... at least until #3 arrives life in our case. In the end, I am happy with the messiness, caos and laughter my somewhat big family brings |
Anonymous
| the first commandment in the Bible is "be fruitful and multiply". |
Anonymous
| You said you wanted convincing. If you want to be evolutionarily successful, 2 kids are a safer bet than 1. |
Anonymous
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I wasn't exactly on the fence, but felt like I could be ok with either one or two. My husband, who grew up as an only child, desperately wanted a second, so that swayed me.
Honestly, I love having two. They are somewhat close together in age and are two peas in a pod - it's very sweet. Watching them together melts my heart. And now that they are both a little older (toddler and preschooler), they can entertain one another too. The first 6 months were hellish though! Not for the faint of heart. |
Anonymous
| Wait until your child is at least 2 to decide. 2 kids is a lot harder than 1 and can really strain your relationship with your spouse, so don’t do it unless you really want another child. |