Sexless-ness is an acceptable negative outcome from marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Here. Thanks for the responses. As a single woman, I meet divorced men from sexless marriages.

I meant to add that many are really emotionally damaged from being in sexless marriages.

I’m a divorced woman from a sexless marriage. And yes, it is emotionally damaging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The potential for a sexless relationship is a topic that is not well addressed when couples decide to get married. It is an acceptable outcome that should be weighed against the vast benefits of marriage. Why do so many people not understand that you will not get everything with marriage?

What makes you think any marriage is actually sexless? True: many (most?) wives lose interest in sex.
But all those husbands most certainly are STILL having sex .... elsewhere.

As you said, you may not get everything with marriage. Perhaps not sex with spouse, perhaps not monogamy. <--- these are logically related.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The potential for a sexless relationship is a topic that is not well addressed when couples decide to get married. It is an acceptable outcome that should be weighed against the vast benefits of marriage. Why do so many people not understand that you will not get everything with marriage?

What makes you think any marriage is actually sexless? True: many (most?) wives lose interest in sex.
But all those husbands most certainly are STILL having sex .... elsewhere.

As you said, you may not get everything with marriage. Perhaps not sex with spouse, perhaps not monogamy. <--- these are logically related.

Do you KNOW all those men?? I highly doubt all those 55 year old men with bigger-than-dad-bods are getting sex elsewhere. Some, maybe. Most, I doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Here. Thanks for the responses. As a single woman, I meet divorced men from sexless marriages.

I meant to add that many are really emotionally damaged from being in sexless marriages.

I’m a divorced woman from a sexless marriage. And yes, it is emotionally damaging.

Has it kept you from engaging in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes people don't know it is going to be sexless. My ex had low T even before we got married and I was thinking sex was not that important because I was in my early 30s and had a very active sex life with others in my 20s. We did not have sex on our honeymoon (we rarely had sex while dating). Turns out we had sex less than once a month the first two years and had no sex at all except one time in the remaining 8 years. It was not just the sexlessness that was the issue, but we never should have married. If you asked me when I was engaged if I thought my marriage would be sexless to this degree, I would not have believed you. Things happen that are really unexpected. And I had this belief there were "benefits to marriage" as well, but I discovered that for me...there were really no benefits at all. I got divorced...finally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Here. Thanks for the responses. As a single woman, I meet divorced men from sexless marriages.

I meant to add that many are really emotionally damaged from being in sexless marriages.

As one of the few guys posting her ( a guess) this is SO accurate.

[Anonymous]

I think men just tend to believe the world revolves around them and cant understand how a woman has the audacity not to cater to them when THEY WANT TO HAVE SEX!!!!!! It's an entitlement, petulant child thing. But anyway...just ignore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Here. Thanks for the responses. As a single woman, I meet divorced men from sexless marriages.

I meant to add that many are really emotionally damaged from being in sexless marriages.

Sure, you are totally a single woman and not at all a resentful man anonymously posting on female-dominant message boards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Here. Thanks for the responses. As a single woman, I meet divorced men from sexless marriages.

I meant to add that many are really emotionally damaged from being in sexless marriages.

Sure, you are totally a single woman and not at all a resentful man anonymously posting on female-dominant message boards.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Here. Thanks for the responses. As a single woman, I meet divorced men from sexless marriages.

I meant to add that many are really emotionally damaged from being in sexless marriages.

Sure, you are totally a single woman and not at all a resentful man anonymously posting on female-dominant message boards.

+1

I hope you both are able to heal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think men just tend to believe the world revolves around them and cant understand how a woman has the audacity not to cater to them when THEY WANT TO HAVE SEX!!!!!! It's an entitlement, petulant child thing. But anyway...just ignore.

Yeah, imagine the nerve of these guys, agreeing to sexual exclusivity, then not getting any sex, then getting mad about it. 🙄🙄🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think men just tend to believe the world revolves around them and cant understand how a woman has the audacity not to cater to them when THEY WANT TO HAVE SEX!!!!!! It's an entitlement, petulant child thing. But anyway...just ignore.

Yeah, imagine the nerve of these guys, agreeing to sexual exclusivity, then not getting any sex, then getting mad about it. 🙄🙄🙄

Right. Sexual exclusivity is not "sex whenever I want it". That's not what exclusive means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure how it factors into the discussion, but I was pretty resentful of our low-sex marriage (~10-15x per year) for about six or seven years. But after awhile, it stopped feeling all that important. Probably decreasing libido on my part as I approach 50 years old.

I guess the point is that you have to be careful when you're weighing the pros & cons. Ten years ago, I would have weighed low-sex pretty heavily in the negative column. Now, it's still negative, but not as heavily. Meanwhile, there are a lot of things I'd put on the positive side of the ledger.

+1 (I’m a DW)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think men just tend to believe the world revolves around them and cant understand how a woman has the audacity not to cater to them when THEY WANT TO HAVE SEX!!!!!! It's an entitlement, petulant child thing. But anyway...just ignore.

Yeah, imagine the nerve of these guys, agreeing to sexual exclusivity, then not getting any sex, then getting mad about it. 🙄🙄🙄

Right. Sexual exclusivity is not "sex whenever I want it". That's not what exclusive means.

Not getting sex on demand isn't the issue with these marriages. Marriages aren't falling apart because men want sex on Monday and have to wait until Wednesday instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think men just tend to believe the world revolves around them and cant understand how a woman has the audacity not to cater to them when THEY WANT TO HAVE SEX!!!!!! It's an entitlement, petulant child thing. But anyway...just ignore.

Yeah, imagine the nerve of these guys, agreeing to sexual exclusivity, then not getting any sex, then getting mad about it. 🙄🙄🙄

Right. Sexual exclusivity is not "sex whenever I want it". That's not what exclusive means.

Not getting sex on demand isn't the issue with these marriages. Marriages aren't falling apart because men want sex on Monday and have to wait until Wednesday instead.

If your partner doesn't want to have sex with you you dont get to force them. That's not how this works.