Married friend made an advance? Or was it nothing?

[Anonymous]

Wash you forehead with soap and hot water. Rinse and repeat until all the cultural uncleanliness is gone. If in doubt – wash again.
Dirty minded men always go for the forehead. That’s the #1 giveaway.
P.S. In all seriousness, you don’t have to unfriend him. If it really bothers you, you can mention it to him, and make your intensions clear. Or move on and see how things advance. It does not matter what he’s got in his head (if anything) you can always set the limits…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who think, oh, I'll keep up a dinner-date platonic friendship with this guy, are so naive.

This. Men and women can't have close platonic friendships involving confiding very personal things to one another and one on one dates. This never works long term.

I wouldn't mention it to your husband but I would stop seeing this guy. The only exception being if you are with your husband or if his wife invites you over to their house. If you want to bring your husband on a lunch meeting or invite him and his wife to your house for dinner when your husband is there, fine. But no more lunches with just him. Even if he says his wife will be there. He may come up with a last minute reason for why she couldn't make it. I bet you will see a lot less of him if your husband is always around or his wife is in charge of the entertaining.

As a woman, I've noticed many women have lunches with a guy they see as a platonic friend. They have innocent thoughts and have no intention to take the relationship further. However, it's always the guy who initiates things and takes the relationship to another level. Many women never intended that and become shocked by the actions and behavior of the men.

This is something I struggle to understand. Why is it always, or most of the cases the men who turn platonic friendship into a sexual relationship? Is it hard for a man to be alone with a woman and not initiate anything or take things further?

[Anonymous]

Your post made me chuckle and think back to all of the married men who have tried their hand with me. The woman in the story often receive such a bad rap, but married men are honestly the worst.

For every woman who has slept with a married man, there are dozes of us who have shut it down. We are the unsung heroes in your marriages, ladies-- not your cheating husbands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women who think, oh, I'll keep up a dinner-date platonic friendship with this guy, are so naive.

Yah, agree. Come on.

[Anonymous]

This is how a lot of affairs start. You seem so clueless but maybe you enjoyed the attention!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who think, oh, I'll keep up a dinner-date platonic friendship with this guy, are so naive.

This. Men and women can't have close platonic friendships involving confiding very personal things to one another and one on one dates. This never works long term.

I wouldn't mention it to your husband but I would stop seeing this guy. The only exception being if you are with your husband or if his wife invites you over to their house. If you want to bring your husband on a lunch meeting or invite him and his wife to your house for dinner when your husband is there, fine. But no more lunches with just him. Even if he says his wife will be there. He may come up with a last minute reason for why she couldn't make it. I bet you will see a lot less of him if your husband is always around or his wife is in charge of the entertaining.

As a woman, I've noticed many women have lunches with a guy they see as a platonic friend. They have innocent thoughts and have no intention to take the relationship further. However, it's always the guy who initiates things and takes the relationship to another level. Many women never intended that and become shocked by the actions and behavior of the men.

This is something I struggle to understand. Why is it always, or most of the cases the men who turn platonic friendship into a sexual relationship? Is it hard for a man to be alone with a woman and not initiate anything or take things further?

A couple things here. I think it's entirely possible to have close platonic friends between men and women. I have a few close female friends I meet out at happy hour or for lunch to socialize. It's just a question of setting boundries. As a guy, I've had women friends express interest in more and I've found myself curious about what it might be like, but you just don't go there.

As far as a forehead kiss? It may have felt like a step too far, but it's kinda a nothing burger. It's not like he leaned in and tried to kiss you open mouth. I agree with other posters that say trust your instincts because you kinda know in your gut what's appropriate between you two. Scale back or be unavailable for solo encounters and suggest you all get together -- husbands/wives to be social. That'll put it back in the friend zone.

[Anonymous]

Really surprised to see so many posters saying that women and men can’t be friends. It’s not the 1800s, people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who think, oh, I'll keep up a dinner-date platonic friendship with this guy, are so naive.

Yah, agree. Come on.

Right. Because no male can ever have a meal with another female without his ding-dong going up! I mean, gay men don’t exist either, right?

*eye roll*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really surprised to see so many posters saying that women and men can’t be friends. It’s not the 1800s, people.

Not the 1800s, but when any allegation is said to be credible, and any allegation is potentially career or family ruining, why would a guy risk it? I'd give some leeway towards old friends, but not to new colleagues or newer friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who think, oh, I'll keep up a dinner-date platonic friendship with this guy, are so naive.

This. Men and women can't have close platonic friendships involving confiding very personal things to one another and one on one dates. This never works long term.

I wouldn't mention it to your husband but I would stop seeing this guy. The only exception being if you are with your husband or if his wife invites you over to their house. If you want to bring your husband on a lunch meeting or invite him and his wife to your house for dinner when your husband is there, fine. But no more lunches with just him. Even if he says his wife will be there. He may come up with a last minute reason for why she couldn't make it. I bet you will see a lot less of him if your husband is always around or his wife is in charge of the entertaining.

As a woman, I've noticed many women have lunches with a guy they see as a platonic friend. They have innocent thoughts and have no intention to take the relationship further. However, it's always the guy who initiates things and takes the relationship to another level. Many women never intended that and become shocked by the actions and behavior of the men.

This is something I struggle to understand. Why is it always, or most of the cases the men who turn platonic friendship into a sexual relationship? Is it hard for a man to be alone with a woman and not initiate anything or take things further?

I think there are men who are capable of viewing women as peers and friends. However, they are not the cultural norm. Many American men primarily think of women in terms of their sexual value. This is why feminists are talking about when they complain about women being treated as sex objects. Many men just do not understand that women, generally, are not as inclined to view men in their lives as potential sex partners. I’m definitely generalizing here, and not saying “men are pigs” or etc, but men are just more inclined to think about women in their lives in terms of sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really surprised to see so many posters saying that women and men can’t be friends. It’s not the 1800s, people.

I’ve had lunch 3-4 times a year for the past ten years with a married guy friend and there has never been anything more than a friendly hug. We talk about our families our jobs and whatever comes to mind. I know his wife and he knows my husband and our lunches pre-date me meeting my husband. There are decent guys out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who think, oh, I'll keep up a dinner-date platonic friendship with this guy, are so naive.

This. Men and women can't have close platonic friendships involving confiding very personal things to one another and one on one dates. This never works long term.

I wouldn't mention it to your husband but I would stop seeing this guy. The only exception being if you are with your husband or if his wife invites you over to their house. If you want to bring your husband on a lunch meeting or invite him and his wife to your house for dinner when your husband is there, fine. But no more lunches with just him. Even if he says his wife will be there. He may come up with a last minute reason for why she couldn't make it. I bet you will see a lot less of him if your husband is always around or his wife is in charge of the entertaining.

As a woman, I've noticed many women have lunches with a guy they see as a platonic friend. They have innocent thoughts and have no intention to take the relationship further. However, it's always the guy who initiates things and takes the relationship to another level. Many women never intended that and become shocked by the actions and behavior of the men.

This is something I struggle to understand. Why is it always, or most of the cases the men who turn platonic friendship into a sexual relationship? Is it hard for a man to be alone with a woman and not initiate anything or take things further?

I think there are men who are capable of viewing women as peers and friends. However, they are not the cultural norm. Many American men primarily think of women in terms of their sexual value. This is why feminists are talking about when they complain about women being treated as sex objects. Many men just do not understand that women, generally, are not as inclined to view men in their lives as potential sex partners. I’m definitely generalizing here, and not saying “men are pigs” or etc, but men are just more inclined to think about women in their lives in terms of sex.

Man here- yes we do think about sex a lot but 95%+ of the women I know I would not think about sexually. They are very nice, smart whatever but I don’t view them as potential sex partners. I’m not going to hit on the 4-5% who are attractive because I’m very satisfied with my home life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really surprised to see so many posters saying that women and men can’t be friends. It’s not the 1800s, people.

I’ve had lunch 3-4 times a year for the past ten years with a married guy friend and there has never been anything more than a friendly hug. We talk about our families our jobs and whatever comes to mind. I know his wife and he knows my husband and our lunches pre-date me meeting my husband. There are decent guys out there.

He's probably just too chicken to make a move or he finds you unattractive. But he's considered it, and it has nothing to do with his morals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really surprised to see so many posters saying that women and men can’t be friends. It’s not the 1800s, people.

Oh, women can. Men cannot.

[Anonymous]

You should blow him. You know you want to. Youve already fantasized about him ejaculating in your mouth.