Do you think he can be faithful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Americans are so morose. Men have high sex drives. So do many women. Sexuality is a natural course in human nature. Sometimes people are less attracted to their spouse. Sometimes they harbor feelings of youthful sexual vigor for the spouse or in fantasy of another. Sometimes they act on it outside marriage. That doesn’t mean they end their union and separate their family. Flings (flirting, fantasy or physical) could happen on occasion. It’s love and commitment to sharing a life that matters. Not to control every thought and desire of sexual curiosity in your spouse. It’s unnatural and suffocating to live in this Puritan way. And no open marriages that’s a recipe to end your union. Be considerate of your spouse. A mistress is a rare thing but it happens.

I read these posts about women and men who think their spouse has a “vibe” with someone, or flirting. ? Have some confidence in yourself and your spouse. Long term commitments have varying degrees of sex, love, passion in various seasons of the marriage...seeking something on a rare occasion outside the marriage doesn’t end the commitment to one another and your family.

To the lady who wrote this: be ashamed of wondering and judging what’s in another mans heart.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You realize that your DH is influenced by his best friend. If you believe the best friend can cheat, particularly getting away with it then in all likelihood your DH will as well. He remains best friends with a cheater means he doesn’t see it as a character flaw.

Oh please, half of men cheat in marriages and if you count cheating on girlfriends, it's higher. Men with 3 best friends have one that cheated. It's common. It doesn't mean her DH will.

I swear, women like to make this some fatalistic thing they can't control - his dad cheated! His friend cheated! - rather than putting an effort into keeping your man from wandering.

This is bs. It’s just data that men who have fathers who cheated are more likely to cheat. It makes sense as we learn many behaviors and thought patterns from those around us. We are more likely to hang around those who are like us and can be influenced by them. BTW, your 1 out of 3 friend does not add up. 1 out of 3 is an average but it could also mean that there are clusters where there are no cheaters and clusters where most friends have cheated (like hangs out with like). Bad use of statistics to make your argument.

[Anonymous]

All are good indicators that he is ripe for cheating. He could also have a great marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Americans are so morose. Men have high sex drives. So do many women. Sexuality is a natural course in human nature. Sometimes people are less attracted to their spouse. Sometimes they harbor feelings of youthful sexual vigor for the spouse or in fantasy of another. Sometimes they act on it outside marriage. That doesn’t mean they end their union and separate their family. Flings (flirting, fantasy or physical) could happen on occasion. It’s love and commitment to sharing a life that matters. Not to control every thought and desire of sexual curiosity in your spouse. It’s unnatural and suffocating to live in this Puritan way. And no open marriages that’s a recipe to end your union. Be considerate of your spouse. A mistress is a rare thing but it happens.

I read these posts about women and men who think their spouse has a “vibe” with someone, or flirting. ? Have some confidence in yourself and your spouse. Long term commitments have varying degrees of sex, love, passion in various seasons of the marriage...seeking something on a rare occasion outside the marriage doesn’t end the commitment to one another and your family.

To the lady who wrote this: be ashamed of wondering and judging what’s in another mans heart.

May I ask where you are from? I was just wondering if it's a country where cheating is more acceptable or if it's where there's a greater disparity in power between men and women.

[Anonymous]

Europeans just have a different mentality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I were debating about if his best friend could be a faithful husband. I say no, he says yes, what do you think?

Parents are divorced because his dad got caught cheating.
He was the ultimate ladies' man when he was single and still likes to flirt.
He cheated on her before they were married (they got married 5 years ago).
He and his wife have different sex drives: his high, hers low (I only know this through my husband).
He travels a lot for business.
He is objectively attractive in that DC bro kind of way.

I wish them the best, but he seems to have a lot of red flags to me. If the wife had been a girlfriend of mine, I probably would have warned her before they got married.

He has already cheated on her, so why would he change now that they're married?

However, you really need to get a life if this is what you're debating. It's kind of an unsavory topic to discuss and honestly none of your business. What do you hope to get out of this other than a fight with your husband about his friend?

[Anonymous]

OP, are you jealous of her. Do you want her out if the “friend circle” because she’s prettier or more successful than you. I question your motives to be so involved.

[Anonymous]

Men are faithful as long as their wives give them a reason to. See, the reality is most men (and ALL spouses) cheat because their signifiant other gave them reason to. It could be anything. Lack of emotional support. Lack of a real relationship. Lack of sex. Lack of commonalty. So many thing.

In the end, people cheat because the person they are with are not giving them something they need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men are faithful as long as their wives give them a reason to. See, the reality is most men (and ALL spouses) cheat because their signifiant other gave them reason to. It could be anything. Lack of emotional support. Lack of a real relationship. Lack of sex. Lack of commonalty. So many thing.

In the end, people cheat because the person they are with are not giving them something they need.

BS. The ones with cheating, alcoholic fathers that abandoned the family cheat because it’s what they know. Children of alcoholic cheaters get used to everyone lying growing up. I know many “happy marriages” with great spouses having sex 3-4 times per week that cheat.

Some men are sex addicts to —20%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are faithful as long as their wives give them a reason to. See, the reality is most men (and ALL spouses) cheat because their signifiant other gave them reason to. It could be anything. Lack of emotional support. Lack of a real relationship. Lack of sex. Lack of commonalty. So many thing.

In the end, people cheat because the person they are with are not giving them something they need.

BS. The ones with cheating, alcoholic fathers that abandoned the family cheat because it’s what they know. Children of alcoholic cheaters get used to everyone lying growing up. I know many “happy marriages” with great spouses having sex 3-4 times per week that cheat.

Some men are sex addicts to —20%.

Agree. A lot of it is what’s lacking inside of themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men are faithful as long as their wives give them a reason to. See, the reality is most men (and ALL spouses) cheat because their signifiant other gave them reason to. It could be anything. Lack of emotional support. Lack of a real relationship. Lack of sex. Lack of commonalty. So many thing.

In the end, people cheat because the person they are with are not giving them something they need.

I partially agree. I agree that people cheat because there is something missing, but I do not think it's the other person's fault. The cheater should be open and honest about what aspect of their relationship is incomplete. If the other person refuses to address it, then there may be some sharing of the blame. If the cheater says nothing, then he/she is the one responsible for the dissolution of the relationship and betrayal of a loved one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How could we possibly know? And why do you care?

THIS. OP, you need to get a life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are faithful as long as their wives give them a reason to. See, the reality is most men (and ALL spouses) cheat because their signifiant other gave them reason to. It could be anything. Lack of emotional support. Lack of a real relationship. Lack of sex. Lack of commonalty. So many thing.

In the end, people cheat because the person they are with are not giving them something they need.

BS. The ones with cheating, alcoholic fathers that abandoned the family cheat because it’s what they know. Children of alcoholic cheaters get used to everyone lying growing up. I know many “happy marriages” with great spouses having sex 3-4 times per week that cheat.

Some men are sex addicts to —20%.

Ironic how you SKIP EVERYTHING ELSE and ONLY respond to the sex part. Did you not read the rest of the statement? There are more "needs" than just sex - for both parties. Nice try though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are faithful as long as their wives give them a reason to. See, the reality is most men (and ALL spouses) cheat because their signifiant other gave them reason to. It could be anything. Lack of emotional support. Lack of a real relationship. Lack of sex. Lack of commonalty. So many thing.

In the end, people cheat because the person they are with are not giving them something they need.

BS. The ones with cheating, alcoholic fathers that abandoned the family cheat because it’s what they know. Children of alcoholic cheaters get used to everyone lying growing up. I know many “happy marriages” with great spouses having sex 3-4 times per week that cheat.

Some men are sex addicts to —20%.

I call BS on that. Maybe you know 1 such case. At most 2. But the fact is very few marriages are having sex 3-4/week. And almost zero of those are cheating.

[Anonymous]

Let me introduce you to my husband. He could beat off 5 times per day...so screwing me 3-4 times per week 22 years into marriage ...he could still bang another woman twice per month. Sex is his “drink”.