How did you make peace with gaining weight as you age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need therapy, OP. I am 5'8" and my healthy weight is 135-145. I'm currently 150, we're living through a pandemic, and I'm giving myself lots of grace. It's not worth the mental energy to obsess over 2 lbs. Your weight is not your identity.

PP again. I'm sorry, I missed that you have tried therapy. It sounds like it's about control. Sometimes as we lose control in some areas, we tighten our grip on the things we feel we can control. Your weight is just not that important in the grand scheme of things. Ask yourself why it matters so much to you. Why don't you stop getting on the scale altogether? No one else knows your weight, except maybe the doctor, and a few pounds difference wouldn't matter to them anyway. Being a good person matters. Loving your family and friends matters. Enjoying life matters. Two pounds don't matter. They just don't.

OP here. Obviously I know all this intellectually, I just can't make myself *feel* it in a way where I truly don't care about the #. I know I shouldn't care but the truth is, I do. I care a lot. It sends me spiraling when the # creeps up.

I posted hoping someone else or several people have been there and figured it out in some way.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to keep looking for a therapist that is a fit. You clearly are aware that this is unhealthy thinking and it’s causing you great distress.

[Anonymous]

OP! I understand. I'm 50 and feel the same. I also stress about being ten pounds from my high school weight. Menopause is a real bitch. I exercise for 45 minutes, five days a week and follow a fairly restricted diet to combat migraines and GI problems.

I torture myself by regularly trying on my formerly favorite shorts I've had for 10 years...and then getting upset because of all of the spill over.

I look awful in a bathing suit, too.

[Anonymous]

Two pounds isn’t what people mean by putting on weight as you age. There is nothing to come to terms with aside from an apparent mental issue.

[Anonymous]

OP, you’re getting older. Honestly, what are you waiting for to accept your body? Do you really think you’ll be on your death bed saying to yourself, “Man, had I just lost those 2 pounds I would have been so much happier in life!” Believe me, those two pounds will not be among your life’s regrets.

I’m not being flippant, hell, I know I have my own body-image issues too, but at the end of the day, I like my body (at a healthy weight) and I like living life, eating good food, drinking good wine, running, hiking, taking care of my loved ones, climbing up mountains- all the things my healthy body is capable of doing.

Cliche: life truly is short. Stop wasting time being unhappy. I echo a PP, you may need to find a better therapy fit. You know it’s a problem. You (with the proper professional help) are the only one who can change your mindset. And you’re also the one who has the most to gain from it.

[Anonymous]

She is not just getting older, she is getting more progressively insane. Eat a sweet grandma OP, maybe then you won't be labeled as an angry white Becky grandma.

[Anonymous]

I remember the words of french actress Catherine Deneuve: "There comes a time when a woman needs to choose between her ass and her face. "
Older skinny women---particularly white women---have more wrinkles. If you keep a little more meat on, your face doesn't look as drawn. Now, you can get cosmetic surgery to fix the wrinkles but that leads to its own "fake" look. But OP, you have an eating disorder if you are 5'7" and 123 and are worrying about your weight---go get a better therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember the words of french actress Catherine Deneuve: "There comes a time when a woman needs to choose between her ass and her face. "
Older skinny women---particularly white women---have more wrinkles. If you keep a little more meat on, your face doesn't look as drawn. Now, you can get cosmetic surgery to fix the wrinkles but that leads to its own "fake" look. But OP, you have an eating disorder if you are 5'7" and 123 and are worrying about your weight---go get a better therapist.

Botox and fillers you can have both

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two pounds isn’t what people mean by putting on weight as you age. There is nothing to come to terms with aside from an apparent mental issue.

X10000

Thank you.

How about forty plus pounds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two pounds isn’t what people mean by putting on weight as you age. There is nothing to come to terms with aside from an apparent mental issue.

+1
2 lb is a normal daily fluctuation
I agreed OP has other problems

[Anonymous]

OP, I mean this sincerely- what do you think we could tell you? You’ve gone through 4 therapists with this, so you know you’re not feeling good. There’s no magic post that’s going to help.

[Anonymous]

OP, how you make peace is by living a life where 2lbs doesn’t matter. You’re so busy doing things you love, and surrounded by people you love, and who love you, that you don’t have time to obsess over or worrying about The scale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are giving the OP a hard time because she is already thin (way to be cruel and kick someone who is down and asking for help, by the way) but the fact is, I don't know any woman who genuinely loves and accepts her body. People will say they do but then it turns out there are always things they hate and want to change. Even objectively beautiful women, people who are famous for begin beautiful, will occasionally admit that they secretly hate aspects of their bodies.

I have never met someone who is sincerely at peace with how their body is changing in unattractive ways as they get older.

If there are any on here, share your secret, by all means.

I am 10 pounds overweight and my body is a hot mess due to loads of surgery for a life-threatening illness. This is, ironically, exactly how I came to peace with my body’s imperfections. I know that even if my body was objectively lovely, I could still find something to hate about it. So I just choose to accept and appreciate it instead.

Working out - mostly weightlifting and running - helped me set achievable goals related to what my body can do instead of how my body looks. And I’m sure being sick for a good chunk of my 20s and 30s also gave me perspective and allowed me to focus on being healthy over being attractive in my 40s.

[Anonymous]

Very simple, cut your calories and work out. It’s that damn simple. Everything else is an excuse.

[Anonymous]

You have a 19.1 BMI. You’re either a troll or have serious problems.