Teen sitter purposely misled me and made me look like the bad guy.

[Anonymous]

She texted you before she was picked up and knew all the details of her mom's accident. She was probably stressed out about her mom and worried about being late to her job. And you're parsing her words and coming to the conclusion that she was...what? Trying to mislead you so you would be mean and look bad? That makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

If my teen babysitter texted me that there had been been “an accident” where her mother couldn’t pick her up, my first thought would be a car accident and to ask if she/mother were okay - not think about how it would affect me.

How did she purposely mislead you? She said there was an accident and there was an accident. She stated a fact. I cannot believe you were bitchy to her over it! I hope she never works for you again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When she said there was an accident, did you ask if everyone was okay?

No because I took it to mean her mother was stuck in traffic due to an accident not that she was actually involved in an accident

Do you think that maybe since you are an adult and she is a teenager you could have given her the benefit of the doubt? You have said nothing that would make any of us assume she is not trustworthy. In fact, it seems she bent over backwards for your stupid sitting job where you had some conference calls even after her mom was rear-ended!

You should sincerely apologize and tell her how grateful you are for her. I’d even get her a little gift or give her a little bonus. Your attitude was SO uncalled for and you probably upset her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my teen babysitter texted me that there had been been “an accident” where her mother couldn’t pick her up, my first thought would be a car accident and to ask if she/mother were okay - not think about how it would affect me.

How did she purposely mislead you? She said there was an accident and there was an accident. She stated a fact. I cannot believe you were bitchy to her over it! I hope she never works for you again.

I feel like I was misled and set up to look bitchy because I took her to mean “there has been an accident....And as a result my mom is stuck in traffic” not that she was in the accident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my teen babysitter texted me that there had been been “an accident” where her mother couldn’t pick her up, my first thought would be a car accident and to ask if she/mother were okay - not think about how it would affect me.

How did she purposely mislead you? She said there was an accident and there was an accident. She stated a fact. I cannot believe you were bitchy to her over it! I hope she never works for you again.

I feel like I was misled and set up to look bitchy because I took her to mean “there has been an accident....And as a result my mom is stuck in traffic” not that she was in the accident.

There it is: you played yourself.

Nobody else had any fault in this. Be angry with the mirror.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When she said there was an accident, did you ask if everyone was okay?

No because I took it to mean her mother was stuck in traffic due to an accident not that she was actually involved in an accident

So you made a false assumption and acted like a jerk. You are the only one in the wrong here.

“Purposely misled me and made me look like the bad guy” is 100% unadulterated bull$h!t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When she said there was an accident, did you ask if everyone was okay?

No because I took it to mean her mother was stuck in traffic due to an accident not that she was actually involved in an accident

Do you think that maybe since you are an adult and she is a teenager you could have given her the benefit of the doubt? You have said nothing that would make any of us assume she is not trustworthy. In fact, it seems she bent over backwards for your stupid sitting job where you had some conference calls even after her mom was rear-ended!

You should sincerely apologize and tell her how grateful you are for her. I’d even get her a little gift or give her a little bonus. Your attitude was SO uncalled for and you probably upset her.

You’re being dramatic. Of course I appreciate her, she has been with us for 2 years and the kids love her. She is here everyday after school normally but since the covid stuff, she has been with us for most of the day (if I have meetings) instead of just 4 hrs in the evening. I certainly trust her or I wouldn’t have her caring for my kids. It’s just in this instance, I felt set up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my teen babysitter texted me that there had been been “an accident” where her mother couldn’t pick her up, my first thought would be a car accident and to ask if she/mother were okay - not think about how it would affect me.

How did she purposely mislead you? She said there was an accident and there was an accident. She stated a fact. I cannot believe you were bitchy to her over it! I hope she never works for you again.

I feel like I was misled and set up to look bitchy because I took her to mean “there has been an accident....And as a result my mom is stuck in traffic” not that she was in the accident.

Effectively, though, what is the difference? If her mother is caught in traffic because an accident happens right in front of her vs her mother is in the accident? I mean, no one knows an accident will happen, so either way she is late and it is unintentional. She communicated to you ahead of time instead of just leaving you wondering when she wasn't on time (which is really responsible for a teen in that situation fwiw). So yeah, you look bitchy because you were being bitchy. She didn't set you up, you did that yourself. These are stressful times, apologize and move on.

[Anonymous]

Set up because … she didn't call you out on the spot for not being sympathetic enough and force you to realize you had misinterpreted the situation?

This has to be a troll post written by the babysitter to stack up grumbles about the MB. It's too much both fawning over the babysitter and presenting a bizarre, tone-deaf, double-downing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my teen babysitter texted me that there had been been “an accident” where her mother couldn’t pick her up, my first thought would be a car accident and to ask if she/mother were okay - not think about how it would affect me.

How did she purposely mislead you? She said there was an accident and there was an accident. She stated a fact. I cannot believe you were bitchy to her over it! I hope she never works for you again.

I feel like I was misled and set up to look bitchy because I took her to mean “there has been an accident....And as a result my mom is stuck in traffic” not that she was in the accident.

Effectively, though, what is the difference? If her mother is caught in traffic because an accident happens right in front of her vs her mother is in the accident? I mean, no one knows an accident will happen, so either way she is late and it is unintentional. She communicated to you ahead of time instead of just leaving you wondering when she wasn't on time (which is really responsible for a teen in that situation fwiw). So yeah, you look bitchy because you were being bitchy. She didn't set you up, you did that yourself. These are stressful times, apologize and move on.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my teen babysitter texted me that there had been been “an accident” where her mother couldn’t pick her up, my first thought would be a car accident and to ask if she/mother were okay - not think about how it would affect me.

How did she purposely mislead you? She said there was an accident and there was an accident. She stated a fact. I cannot believe you were bitchy to her over it! I hope she never works for you again.

I feel like I was misled and set up to look bitchy because I took her to mean “there has been an accident....And as a result my mom is stuck in traffic” not that she was in the accident.

How does that matter? In either case, the girl and her mother had no control over the situation. You were not misled in any way. You were just mean to a teenager for no good reason.

[Anonymous]

So you misinterpreted what she said. Can’t you just say to her what you said here - that you didn’t understand her mom was *in* the accident, you are so sorry, do they need anything, etc.? All the normal things one would say instead of feeling like the teen misled you. It isn’t a fatal error, Op. Talk to the teen and then move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When she said there was an accident, did you ask if everyone was okay?

No because I took it to mean her mother was stuck in traffic due to an accident not that she was actually involved in an accident

Why would you be annoyed with her even if it was just an accident that caused traffic? She has nothing to do with that. It's not her fault. You are awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Set up because … she didn't call you out on the spot for not being sympathetic enough and force you to realize you had misinterpreted the situation?

This has to be a troll post written by the babysitter to stack up grumbles about the MB. It's too much both fawning over the babysitter and presenting a bizarre, tone-deaf, double-downing.

Seriously? Like I said, I accept that I was short with her and I owned that. I was explaining my perspective of what happened. I think both of us are to blame and obviously we can communicate better in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She texted saying that she was running late, her mom hadn’t picked her up because there “was an accident”. I was clearly annoyed with her that I would have to make other arrangements and I had several conference calls scheduled. She got to our house about 35 mins after the time we planned for her to be here and I was short with her because of the difficulties. Later on, she tells my DH that she’s sorry again for the disruption because of her mom being in an accident earlier in the day. He told me about it and I feel terrible. Her family lives on our street and i saw her mom going in the house with crutches so i know she’s telling the truth. She phrased it that there was an accident, not that her mom had been rear ended! Now I look like a jerk. What would you do or say in this situation?

NP You not only look like a jerk; you are a jerk!!!

Send flowers and candy to the mom and family with a note of apology!

Hope teen never works for you again!