15-yo DS Opens Car Door for a Girl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird. Women / Girls don't need a car door opened for them. It is very patriarchal and not someone people do now. Girls can open their own car doors believe it or not!

Why can’t people be nice without it being turned into a sexist act of disrespect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boys (now young adults) always hold the doors open for women. They’ll also offer their seats, stand when a woman approaches them, etc. It has nothing to do with women not being capable of doing so. It’s simply a demonstration of respect. They do the same for older people.

+1

My husband holds the door open for just about everyone. So does my brother. I do too -- I'm a woman but ES taught to hold doors, open car doors, offer to carry packages etc. for elderly people, female or male. Because...manners. And extra attention to the elderly. Or guests. Or just friends.

The angry "women don't need doors held for them!" folks seem threatened and insulted by those who would offer respect. I guess it's seen as disrespectful or infantilizing. It's not coming from that place at all -- unless you choose to put that interpretation on it. But that's coming from those PPs, not from the door-openers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weird. Women / Girls don't need a car door opened for them. It is very patriarchal and not someone people do now. Girls can open their own car doors believe it or not!

+1

I'd be turned off by a man who did this.

I would see it as a sign of kindness, consideration and respect.

Me too, people who don't hold the door for those next to them are my.pet peeve. Gender aside. Maybe he wouldn't go open a car door for a buddy but maybe he would, and likely he would hold all other doors. That's good manners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weird. Women / Girls don't need a car door opened for them. It is very patriarchal and not someone people do now. Girls can open their own car doors believe it or not!

Why can’t people be nice without it being turned into a sexist act of disrespect.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weird. Women / Girls don't need a car door opened for them. It is very patriarchal and not someone people do now. Girls can open their own car doors believe it or not!

+1

I'd be turned off by a man who did this.

I would see it as a sign of kindness, consideration and respect.

Do young men not also deserve kindness, consideration and respect? Would you have your daughters open car doors for the young man? If it is just about respect, then it should go both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boys (now young adults) always hold the doors open for women. They’ll also offer their seats, stand when a woman approaches them, etc. It has nothing to do with women not being capable of doing so. It’s simply a demonstration of respect. They do the same for older people.

+1

My husband holds the door open for just about everyone. So does my brother. I do too -- I'm a woman but ES taught to hold doors, open car doors, offer to carry packages etc. for elderly people, female or male. Because...manners. And extra attention to the elderly. Or guests. Or just friends.

The angry "women don't need doors held for them!" folks seem threatened and insulted by those who would offer respect. I guess it's seen as disrespectful or infantilizing. It's not coming from that place at all -- unless you choose to put that interpretation on it. But that's coming from those PPs, not from the door-openers.

Respect is something that is mutual. It is not respect when it is something that that is only one way and that perpetuates the stereotype that women are weak, helpless and need a man for basic tasks. If I am entering a door, I always look behind and hold it for man, woman, or child. As a woman I am perfectly fine with a man, woman or child holding open a door for me. I am not okay with my daughter standing by a car waiting for a boy to come open her door or a boy rushing around to open her car door for her. That isn't respect unless she is also going to get out and run around and open his door.

Women will never be seen as equals or move up into senior positions as long as we treat them so differently than boys. Manners are something that you should teach all your children, male and female and that apply to everyone. Respect goes both ways, both boys and girls are deserving of respect and should treat others with respect. As soon as you make it one directional and this is just something you teach boys to do...it is sexist.

Teach your daughters that they are as capable as men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boys (now young adults) always hold the doors open for women. They’ll also offer their seats, stand when a woman approaches them, etc. It has nothing to do with women not being capable of doing so. It’s simply a demonstration of respect. They do the same for older people.

Being sexist isn't respectful. They are making the assumption they are better than the women. That the woman needs them to do an act for her. If your son did those things for me, I would very politely help them understand that women are able to stand on a bus like a man, that we are not fragile or weak. That we can open our own car doors, that we can carry things. That there are all kinds of things that women can do. That respect is something you would do for everyone, not just those you see as weak and in need of your help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, it's important to you. Otherwise you wouldn't have posted. It's important to him. It's unimportant to many people. There will be plenty of very worthwhile companions for your son who won't be impressed. Op, learn the difference re: what matters and what doesn't matter. This doesn't.

your post doesn't matter

[Anonymous]

I think it’s nice. My DH of 15 years did this for me when we dated and still does when we’re not both wrangling kids into the car. He also holds doors open for men, women, and children when they are coming out of a place behind him, and he’s pretty conscientious in general. I also work FT and he fully supports me in it.

I think some people mix up polite and chivalrous behavior with viewing others as less than or needing help. They don’t mean the same thing.

[Anonymous]

I am a woman and open the car door for the elderly, children and even my H when his hands arw full. I also hold open doors for all genders. Stop being ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman and open the car door for the elderly, children and even my H when his hands arw full. I also hold open doors for all genders. Stop being ridiculous.

So you open doors for people who need assistance. That makes sense. Do you run around and open the car door for your DH every time he goes to get in the car even if his hands aren't full to show him kindness and respect? Unlikely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boys (now young adults) always hold the doors open for women. They’ll also offer their seats, stand when a woman approaches them, etc. It has nothing to do with women not being capable of doing so. It’s simply a demonstration of respect. They do the same for older people.

+1

My husband holds the door open for just about everyone. So does my brother. I do too -- I'm a woman but ES taught to hold doors, open car doors, offer to carry packages etc. for elderly people, female or male. Because...manners. And extra attention to the elderly. Or guests. Or just friends.

The angry "women don't need doors held for them!" folks seem threatened and insulted by those who would offer respect. I guess it's seen as disrespectful or infantilizing. It's not coming from that place at all -- unless you choose to put that interpretation on it. But that's coming from those PPs, not from the door-openers.

Respect is something that is mutual. It is not respect when it is something that that is only one way and that perpetuates the stereotype that women are weak, helpless and need a man for basic tasks. If I am entering a door, I always look behind and hold it for man, woman, or child. As a woman I am perfectly fine with a man, woman or child holding open a door for me. I am not okay with my daughter standing by a car waiting for a boy to come open her door or a boy rushing around to open her car door for her. That isn't respect unless she is also going to get out and run around and open his door.

Women will never be seen as equals or move up into senior positions as long as we treat them so differently than boys. Manners are something that you should teach all your children, male and female and that apply to everyone. Respect goes both ways, both boys and girls are deserving of respect and should treat others with respect. As soon as you make it one directional and this is just something you teach boys to do...it is sexist.

Teach your daughters that they are as capable as men.

You're a cow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boys (now young adults) always hold the doors open for women. They’ll also offer their seats, stand when a woman approaches them, etc. It has nothing to do with women not being capable of doing so. It’s simply a demonstration of respect. They do the same for older people.

+1

My husband holds the door open for just about everyone. So does my brother. I do too -- I'm a woman but ES taught to hold doors, open car doors, offer to carry packages etc. for elderly people, female or male. Because...manners. And extra attention to the elderly. Or guests. Or just friends.

The angry "women don't need doors held for them!" folks seem threatened and insulted by those who would offer respect. I guess it's seen as disrespectful or infantilizing. It's not coming from that place at all -- unless you choose to put that interpretation on it. But that's coming from those PPs, not from the door-openers.

Respect is something that is mutual. It is not respect when it is something that that is only one way and that perpetuates the stereotype that women are weak, helpless and need a man for basic tasks. If I am entering a door, I always look behind and hold it for man, woman, or child. As a woman I am perfectly fine with a man, woman or child holding open a door for me. I am not okay with my daughter standing by a car waiting for a boy to come open her door or a boy rushing around to open her car door for her. That isn't respect unless she is also going to get out and run around and open his door.

Women will never be seen as equals or move up into senior positions as long as we treat them so differently than boys. Manners are something that you should teach all your children, male and female and that apply to everyone. Respect goes both ways, both boys and girls are deserving of respect and should treat others with respect. As soon as you make it one directional and this is just something you teach boys to do...it is sexist.

Teach your daughters that they are as capable as men.

-1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boys (now young adults) always hold the doors open for women. They’ll also offer their seats, stand when a woman approaches them, etc. It has nothing to do with women not being capable of doing so. It’s simply a demonstration of respect. They do the same for older people.

+1

My husband holds the door open for just about everyone. So does my brother. I do too -- I'm a woman but ES taught to hold doors, open car doors, offer to carry packages etc. for elderly people, female or male. Because...manners. And extra attention to the elderly. Or guests. Or just friends.

The angry "women don't need doors held for them!" folks seem threatened and insulted by those who would offer respect. I guess it's seen as disrespectful or infantilizing. It's not coming from that place at all -- unless you choose to put that interpretation on it. But that's coming from those PPs, not from the door-openers.

I agree. It’s misogynistic for a man to hold a door open for a woman or girl as part of a dating ritual. This is a problem with a lot of women. They want all the benefits of sexist system without any of the obstacles or hindrance.
Respect is something that is mutual. It is not respect when it is something that that is only one way and that perpetuates the stereotype that women are weak, helpless and need a man for basic tasks. If I am entering a door, I always look behind and hold it for man, woman, or child. As a woman I am perfectly fine with a man, woman or child holding open a door for me. I am not okay with my daughter standing by a car waiting for a boy to come open her door or a boy rushing around to open her car door for her. That isn't respect unless she is also going to get out and run around and open his door.

Women will never be seen as equals or move up into senior positions as long as we treat them so differently than boys. Manners are something that you should teach all your children, male and female and that apply to everyone. Respect goes both ways, both boys and girls are deserving of respect and should treat others with respect. As soon as you make it one directional and this is just something you teach boys to do...it is sexist.

Teach your daughters that they are as capable as men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boys (now young adults) always hold the doors open for women. They’ll also offer their seats, stand when a woman approaches them, etc. It has nothing to do with women not being capable of doing so. It’s simply a demonstration of respect. They do the same for older people.

+1

My husband holds the door open for just about everyone. So does my brother. I do too -- I'm a woman but ES taught to hold doors, open car doors, offer to carry packages etc. for elderly people, female or male. Because...manners. And extra attention to the elderly. Or guests. Or just friends.

The angry "women don't need doors held for them!" folks seem threatened and insulted by those who would offer respect. I guess it's seen as disrespectful or infantilizing. It's not coming from that place at all -- unless you choose to put that interpretation on it. But that's coming from those PPs, not from the door-openers.

Respect is something that is mutual. It is not respect when it is something that that is only one way and that perpetuates the stereotype that women are weak, helpless and need a man for basic tasks. If I am entering a door, I always look behind and hold it for man, woman, or child. As a woman I am perfectly fine with a man, woman or child holding open a door for me. I am not okay with my daughter standing by a car waiting for a boy to come open her door or a boy rushing around to open her car door for her. That isn't respect unless she is also going to get out and run around and open his door.

Women will never be seen as equals or move up into senior positions as long as we treat them so differently than boys. Manners are something that you should teach all your children, male and female and that apply to everyone. Respect goes both ways, both boys and girls are deserving of respect and should treat others with respect. As soon as you make it one directional and this is just something you teach boys to do...it is sexist.

Teach your daughters that they are as capable as men.

-1

I agree. It’s misogynistic for a man to hold a door open for a woman or girl as part of a dating ritual. This is a problem with a lot of women. They want all the benefits of sexist system without any of the obstacles or hindrance. These things can not be separated.