Why is he ignoring me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In a normal relationship, the dad wouldn’t be abusive.

Let’s say in a normal relationship the father did something that hurt his daughter’s feelings. She got mad at him, so she yelled and muttered swear words at him. She then avoided speaking to him. What would a normal father do in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok. So I decided to give in and talk to him. He totally ignored me. He was on his phone typing something, so I gave him the benefit of doubt, in case I interrupted him. He then watched a short video.

I tried speaking to him again shortly afterwards, he just totally ignored me. I got up and left. He looks happier now and is talking to my mom and laughing. He's no longer upset or broken. He’s got his normal energy back.

I’m just so mad. What did I do for him to ignore me?

For those telling me to leave, I can’t leave now. In 2 months time, hopefully I’ll leave. Moving out is not an option atm. Also, therapy is off the cards. I can’t afford it right now and need to save up.

I just want to understand why he’s ignoring me?

If this incident happened in a normal father- daughter relationship, what would be the outcome? If a normal father upset his daughter and she didn’t speak to him for a while, what would a normal father do?

I just want someone to answer me and give me a glimpse of what a normal relationship would look like.

He's ignoring you because he's a man child. He's happy because he realizes his silent treatment worked on you. Keep your head down and work towards moving out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d rather face his verbal abuse than be ignored like this. Being ignored is torture. Normally he verbally abuses me, I get on with my day. Its not verbal/emotional abuse 24/7. He cracks jokes, talks to me, etc. We still share good times.

I didn’t really stand up to him and let him know his behavior is unacceptable. I just yelled at him and said swear words out of anger. My mom stands to him and he justifies his abuse. He says that we lead him to abusing us. Also, when he verbally abuses my mom and she replies back to him with verbal abuse, he gets mad. He might give her the silent treatment.

He’s passive aggressive with me right now. I’m just so upset. He’s been emotionally abusing me for years and the one time I swear at him, he just falls apart. He can’t cope and is soo upset. Yet it’s ok if he does it to me.

I’m also ignoring him as well. I haven’t tried speaking to him. Perhaps that’s why he’s hurt. He’s never violent or physically abusive though. How do I fix this relationship? Can someone explain why he’s behaving this way?

You will need a lot of therapy to get past this. Move out and start now.

[Anonymous]

His ignoring you is manipulation. His verbal abuse didn't work, this is another tactic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a normal relationship, the dad wouldn’t be abusive.

Let’s say in a normal relationship the father did something that hurt his daughter’s feelings. She got mad at him, so she yelled and muttered swear words at him. She then avoided speaking to him. What would a normal father do in this situation?

Can someone answer this for OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His ignoring you is manipulation. His verbal abuse didn't work, this is another tactic.

Pretty much this, word for word.

He’s freezing you out in hopes it will bother you. The moment you flight back, he lost control of you. Now he’s getting it back by freezing you out, because now you don’t have control with your words again. It’s a very common and very abusive technique.

op, Please do everything in your power to get out of there, and get some counselling.

[Anonymous]

It's another form of abuse. He is giving you a silent treatment because from his perspective you hurt his feelings and him by speaking out. In no scenario is he actually sorry for what he did. He sees himself as your victim and is waiting for you to apologize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a normal relationship, the dad wouldn’t be abusive.

Let’s say in a normal relationship the father did something that hurt his daughter’s feelings. She got mad at him, so she yelled and muttered swear words at him. She then avoided speaking to him. What would a normal father do in this situation?

Can someone answer this for OP?

He would apologize.

[Anonymous]

Why is this in relationships forum and not Family relationship? It is as OP knew that this is more like a weird marriage relationship and not a father and child relationship. You need to get out of that house OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His ignoring you is manipulation. His verbal abuse didn't work, this is another tactic.

EXACTLY. You stood up to his verbal abuse. Now he's found another tactic. He *knows* ignoring you is bothering and hurting you, so this is his new abuse tactic. Ignoring him back (or really, just stop trying to talk to him and trying to get him to respond to you) would be the best way to stand up to this abuse tactic. Save up and try to get out asap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His ignoring you is manipulation. His verbal abuse didn't work, this is another tactic.

Ding ding ding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d rather face his verbal abuse than be ignored like this. Being ignored is torture. Normally he verbally abuses me, I get on with my day. Its not verbal/emotional abuse 24/7. He cracks jokes, talks to me, etc. We still share good times.

I didn’t really stand up to him and let him know his behavior is unacceptable. I just yelled at him and said swear words out of anger. My mom stands to him and he justifies his abuse. He says that we lead him to abusing us. Also, when he verbally abuses my mom and she replies back to him with verbal abuse, he gets mad. He might give her the silent treatment.

He’s passive aggressive with me right now. I’m just so upset. He’s been emotionally abusing me for years and the one time I swear at him, he just falls apart. He can’t cope and is soo upset. Yet it’s ok if he does it to me.

I’m also ignoring him as well. I haven’t tried speaking to him. Perhaps that’s why he’s hurt. He’s never violent or physically abusive though. How do I fix this relationship? Can someone explain why he’s behaving this way?

Because he's an abusive jerk and not a good person. I am sorry, but this is the truth.

Giving you the silent treatment is simply another form of abuse. Get out of there and get therapy. Lots of it. You have been conditioned to see this as normal. It's not.

[Anonymous]

he is a typical narcissist. good luck

[Anonymous]

You took the bait. He is now pleased.

Smile. Be chipper and friendly. Act like his behavior no longer has an impact on you.

Shorten the time line for moving out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a normal relationship, the dad wouldn’t be abusive.

Let’s say in a normal relationship the father did something that hurt his daughter’s feelings. She got mad at him, so she yelled and muttered swear words at him. She then avoided speaking to him. What would a normal father do in this situation?

Those with a normal father can answer this.