A very mild IL Thanksgiving family question

[Anonymous]

The written plan (we ate at 4 last year, so I'm adjusting for 1 hour to eat at 5 this year--doing the appetizers a bit earlier, perhaps)

10:30 Turkey out, unwrapped

11:40 Preheat oven to 350

11:45 Start dressing in crock pot

12:00 Turkey in oven
Light lunch for those who want it

1:00 Wine open to breathe

1:45 Stir dressing

2:00 Appetizers/cocktails
-Cheese ball and crackers out, big white plate
-Veggie tray out, brown tray/silver dish
-Guest contribution

3:10 Put potatoes on (large silver pot)
Turkey out, cover with foil and towels
Gravy on (small silver pot with lid)
Put rutabagas in oven

3:30 Put rolls in oven

Set out cranberries
Set out butter


3:40 Drain potatoes (silver colander)

3:45 Mash potatoes, cover with towel

DH carve turkey, cover with foil (blue platter)

Aunt-in-law sets water on table (ice bucket); re-ups wine
3:50 Microwave green beans, blue bowl
Stir dressing
Rolls out of oven/white bowl with towel, on table
Rutabegas out

4 p.m. Dinner

5 p.m. Offer coffee, dessert

[Anonymous]

^^I'm adding roasted Brussels sprouts with pancetta this year; those will be made the day before, then popped in the oven while the turkey rests.

[Anonymous]

I LOVE this schedule OP.

Maybe leave a laminated one on the kitchen counter.

When you are questioned, pointedly get your printed schedule and answer their question.

Or buy a white board (or blackboard) and write out the schedule and leave it where all can see.

Sometimes elderly or older relatives think by questioning they are helping.

[Anonymous]

I think they’re just making conversation in a way you find particularly annoying.

I’m not saying you have to encourage it, but it’s not so bad to just play the game for the one day.

They say “oh no the turkey is still on the counter”
You say “it goes in at 11”

Think of it more as ritual than communicating information.

[Anonymous]

Can you have someone take them out for a walk or something while you cook?

[Anonymous]

They are old, this is old people behavior.

[Anonymous]

That written plan is masterful, and I am stealing it!

[Anonymous]

Is it because they're hungry? I see you mention a light lunch. Are they getting enough before 5?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it because they're hungry? I see you mention a light lunch. Are they getting enough before 5?

Not only is it a light lunch, but there is a breakfast, appetizers and an open kitchen. They know they can help themselves at any time. I honestly, literally do not know how I could present or welcome them to more food.

[Anonymous]

OMG OP - I'm just flat out going to steal chunks of your schedule!

I would (in my mind) tell myself that their harping on your is just their own anxiety and insecurity about big meals and entertaining. And out loud I would say "Thanks! I really have it all under control, haven't been late once - check out my insanely organized plan for the day." Just be bright, cheery and unflappable and keep reminding yourself that they're nuts and you're an entertaining rockstar.

Happy Thanksgiving!

[Anonymous]

I just want to come over and would promise not to ask you anything....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG OP - I'm just flat out going to steal chunks of your schedule!

I would (in my mind) tell myself that their harping on your is just their own anxiety and insecurity about big meals and entertaining. And out loud I would say "Thanks! I really have it all under control, haven't been late once - check out my insanely organized plan for the day." Just be bright, cheery and unflappable and keep reminding yourself that they're nuts and you're an entertaining rockstar.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thank you! I only did the work of creating that plan (and the shopping list and prep work master plan that comes with it) one time. Then, I just rock it out every year that I host. I carry my shopping list with me and look at my prep/day of guides faithfully: no guesswork.

I love to cook but hate to bake, so the only thing I bake is one pecan pie. DH makes other pie, aunt brings some appetizers, MIL brings the mashed rutabegas. It's super easy and I truly enjoy it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just want to come over and would promise not to ask you anything....

If you could pick up an extra bottle of Pinot Noir, that would be great! Come by any time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom calls me every year to make sure I’ve been up since 5 am. I think she believes that if you don’t get up pointlessly early, you haven’t properly martyred yourself to the cause. The best was the year I was on the west coast, and she called at 7 am eastern time because I hadn’t texted her to confirm that I’d started the turkey.

I used to think Thanksgiving was an impossible meal until I hosted for the first time, and realized that my mom had a lot of arbitrary rules about the order of preparations for the day that made it really challenging. Understatement, but she has some anxiety issues. Yours probably do, too, and nothing will make them relax. But thank you for the laugh bc you described my mom’s Turkey Anxiety so much better than I ever have.

PP, I would pay you to write down for us all of her arbitrary rules! I love that kind of stuff as vicarious entertainment!

[Anonymous]

They are jealous of your plan lol. I would stop showing them the plan, just keep repeating, 'everything is fine'.

As one other poster said, this is old people behaviour. If you rock it each year then keep on rocking it, ignore them.