A very mild IL Thanksgiving family question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just want to come over and would promise not to ask you anything....

Me too. Will you be DIL one day and my SIL right now?!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom calls me every year to make sure I’ve been up since 5 am. I think she believes that if you don’t get up pointlessly early, you haven’t properly martyred yourself to the cause. The best was the year I was on the west coast, and she called at 7 am eastern time because I hadn’t texted her to confirm that I’d started the turkey.

I used to think Thanksgiving was an impossible meal until I hosted for the first time, and realized that my mom had a lot of arbitrary rules about the order of preparations for the day that made it really challenging. Understatement, but she has some anxiety issues. Yours probably do, too, and nothing will make them relax. But thank you for the laugh bc you described my mom’s Turkey Anxiety so much better than I ever have.

PP, I would pay you to write down for us all of her arbitrary rules! I love that kind of stuff as vicarious entertainment!

+1 PLEASE, I want the Arbitrary Turkey Rules!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom calls me every year to make sure I’ve been up since 5 am. I think she believes that if you don’t get up pointlessly early, you haven’t properly martyred yourself to the cause. The best was the year I was on the west coast, and she called at 7 am eastern time because I hadn’t texted her to confirm that I’d started the turkey.

I used to think Thanksgiving was an impossible meal until I hosted for the first time, and realized that my mom had a lot of arbitrary rules about the order of preparations for the day that made it really challenging. Understatement, but she has some anxiety issues. Yours probably do, too, and nothing will make them relax. But thank you for the laugh bc you described my mom’s Turkey Anxiety so much better than I ever have.

PP, I would pay you to write down for us all of her arbitrary rules! I love that kind of stuff as vicarious entertainment!

+1 PLEASE, I want the Arbitrary Turkey Rules!

+1

[Anonymous]

Agree just old ppl trying to be "helpful".
If it really bothers you, ask your DH to intervene, and tell them your feelings. Sometimes it takes more than one voice for them to take the hint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I enjoy hosting my ILs for Thanksgiving; FIL/MIL and DH's aunt are overnight guests. We have a great time.

MIL and aunt-in-law both contribute to the meal. I accept offers for help. I ensure that their family's dishes are included in the overall menu. I open my kitchen to them for parts of the day and the day before.

The only (minor) issue is that they are always chasing after me to start/do my parts earlier. I have it all timed out, and have never once served dinner late. My turkey comes out great every year. We eat at the time I say we are going to eat. I go so far as to show them my written plan when they seem concerned.

But they are always pushing me. "What time are you setting your alarm in the morning?" (No need; it's a 16-pound turkey, and we eat at 5 p.m.) "Why aren't you preheating the oven?" (I point to the plan; preheating is scheduled for 1.5 hours from now.) "Why isn't it in?! Haven't you put the turkey in?!" (Written plan: turkey goes in soon, but not now.) Same deal for other items like stuffing and mashed potatoes, too.

How can I get them to relax? The proof is in the pudding: when I host, we eat well, and on time. I've reminded them that I've got the written plan, and everything always comes together. Any ideas?

Some of The Olds want to eat a the big meal early like 1pm...my father included.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I enjoy hosting my ILs for Thanksgiving; FIL/MIL and DH's aunt are overnight guests. We have a great time.

MIL and aunt-in-law both contribute to the meal. I accept offers for help. I ensure that their family's dishes are included in the overall menu. I open my kitchen to them for parts of the day and the day before.

The only (minor) issue is that they are always chasing after me to start/do my parts earlier. I have it all timed out, and have never once served dinner late. My turkey comes out great every year. We eat at the time I say we are going to eat. I go so far as to show them my written plan when they seem concerned.

But they are always pushing me. "What time are you setting your alarm in the morning?" (No need; it's a 16-pound turkey, and we eat at 5 p.m.) "Why aren't you preheating the oven?" (I point to the plan; preheating is scheduled for 1.5 hours from now.) "Why isn't it in?! Haven't you put the turkey in?!" (Written plan: turkey goes in soon, but not now.) Same deal for other items like stuffing and mashed potatoes, too.

How can I get them to relax? The proof is in the pudding: when I host, we eat well, and on time. I've reminded them that I've got the written plan, and everything always comes together. Any ideas?

OK? He’s welcome to host.
Some of The Olds want to eat a the big meal early like 1pm...my father included.

[Anonymous]

OP - they have nothing else to talk about. Can you have them doing something else? Like decorate a Gingerbread House? Something to keep them in the same room as you -since that's what they want- something that requires some creativity, something that can't be completed quickly, but also doesn't really need to be completed to any particular standard.