2.5 year old, 8mo, and try for another now?

[Anonymous]

Unless you have a shitload of money and patience and one of you is willing to scale way back if you both work, don't do this.

[Anonymous]

I feel bad for your kids. Especially your second child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for your kids. Especially your second child.

why in the world do you feel bad for my kids?!

[Anonymous]

Maybe adopt a slightly older child?

[Anonymous]

I am currently pregnant with number 3 and I would suggest waiting at least a little bit. My first are 19 months apart but then we waited and there will be a 3.5 year age gap between 2 and 3. So far it seems to have worked out well since we will only have 2 in daycare at one time. DD1 will be 5 and DD2 will be 3.5 when the new baby comes. I am so glad we didn't do it any closer since I can trust my 5 year old and somewhat trust my 3.5 year old not to die while I am putting the baby down, etc. Any closer of a gap is hard. But I also do a lot solo. If your DH is around and your have involved ILs then maybe it would work.

[Anonymous]

OP are you rich?

[Anonymous]

How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP are you rich?

yes - i'm assuming your asking if I can afford a 3rd generally (yes) and if I can afford a lot of help for a couple years with a new baby (yes).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am currently pregnant with number 3 and I would suggest waiting at least a little bit. My first are 19 months apart but then we waited and there will be a 3.5 year age gap between 2 and 3. So far it seems to have worked out well since we will only have 2 in daycare at one time. DD1 will be 5 and DD2 will be 3.5 when the new baby comes. I am so glad we didn't do it any closer since I can trust my 5 year old and somewhat trust my 3.5 year old not to die while I am putting the baby down, etc. Any closer of a gap is hard. But I also do a lot solo. If your DH is around and your have involved ILs then maybe it would work.

This is my spacing exactly and it's very nice. A spacing of 3.5 years felt like a total breeze after tackling the 2 year age gap, and my two youngest (both boys, elementary school ages) are very bonded now, pretty much inseparable.

That being said, I had time on my side - I think my answer to you would depend on how old you are now. Are you still early thirties, or are you closer to 40 and time really is an issue if you want a third?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you?

37. First kid took 5 years to have with intervention, 2nd was a pleasant surprise (surprise in that i'd been told there was little chance in having a baby on my own). So I could start trying now and either end up with another right away or try for years and never have another. I've already decided I won't do IVF. The impact of the meds and the cycle of hope and disappointment is too much of an emotional rollercoaster to put my family through

I guess having the 3rd is a long shot either way so it's not like deciding I want to do it is anywhere close to it actually happening

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am currently pregnant with number 3 and I would suggest waiting at least a little bit. My first are 19 months apart but then we waited and there will be a 3.5 year age gap between 2 and 3. So far it seems to have worked out well since we will only have 2 in daycare at one time. DD1 will be 5 and DD2 will be 3.5 when the new baby comes. I am so glad we didn't do it any closer since I can trust my 5 year old and somewhat trust my 3.5 year old not to die while I am putting the baby down, etc. Any closer of a gap is hard. But I also do a lot solo. If your DH is around and your have involved ILs then maybe it would work.

This is my spacing exactly and it's very nice. A spacing of 3.5 years felt like a total breeze after tackling the 2 year age gap, and my two youngest (both boys, elementary school ages) are very bonded now, pretty much inseparable.

That being said, I had time on my side - I think my answer to you would depend on how old you are now. Are you still early thirties, or are you closer to 40 and time really is an issue if you want a third?

Do you worry that the 3.5 year old will never really be part of the other sibling unit? I like the idea of close together b/c it seems like they'll be their own little gang vs 2 that are close, and "the baby" that is kind of on its own. i was 2y9m younger than my sister and even that kind of felt like too big of a gap for us to be friends growing up though we became friends once we were both in college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am currently pregnant with number 3 and I would suggest waiting at least a little bit. My first are 19 months apart but then we waited and there will be a 3.5 year age gap between 2 and 3. So far it seems to have worked out well since we will only have 2 in daycare at one time. DD1 will be 5 and DD2 will be 3.5 when the new baby comes. I am so glad we didn't do it any closer since I can trust my 5 year old and somewhat trust my 3.5 year old not to die while I am putting the baby down, etc. Any closer of a gap is hard. But I also do a lot solo. If your DH is around and your have involved ILs then maybe it would work.

This is my spacing exactly and it's very nice. A spacing of 3.5 years felt like a total breeze after tackling the 2 year age gap, and my two youngest (both boys, elementary school ages) are very bonded now, pretty much inseparable.

That being said, I had time on my side - I think my answer to you would depend on how old you are now. Are you still early thirties, or are you closer to 40 and time really is an issue if you want a third?

Do you worry that the 3.5 year old will never really be part of the other sibling unit? I like the idea of close together b/c it seems like they'll be their own little gang vs 2 that are close, and "the baby" that is kind of on its own. i was 2y9m younger than my sister and even that kind of felt like too big of a gap for us to be friends growing up though we became friends once we were both in college

I am the first PP and yes I am a little worried about the dynamics of 3 kids with the first two being very close in age and then the baby by themselves. We may end up having a 4th but time will tell. I am on the younger side so we have time (36 when baby 3 is born and haven't needed any medical intervention to have the 3 kids). But if we go for a 4th we would do it to have a close age gab between 3 and 4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am currently pregnant with number 3 and I would suggest waiting at least a little bit. My first are 19 months apart but then we waited and there will be a 3.5 year age gap between 2 and 3. So far it seems to have worked out well since we will only have 2 in daycare at one time. DD1 will be 5 and DD2 will be 3.5 when the new baby comes. I am so glad we didn't do it any closer since I can trust my 5 year old and somewhat trust my 3.5 year old not to die while I am putting the baby down, etc. Any closer of a gap is hard. But I also do a lot solo. If your DH is around and your have involved ILs then maybe it would work.

This is my spacing exactly and it's very nice. A spacing of 3.5 years felt like a total breeze after tackling the 2 year age gap, and my two youngest (both boys, elementary school ages) are very bonded now, pretty much inseparable.

That being said, I had time on my side - I think my answer to you would depend on how old you are now. Are you still early thirties, or are you closer to 40 and time really is an issue if you want a third?

Do you worry that the 3.5 year old will never really be part of the other sibling unit? I like the idea of close together b/c it seems like they'll be their own little gang vs 2 that are close, and "the baby" that is kind of on its own. i was 2y9m younger than my sister and even that kind of felt like too big of a gap for us to be friends growing up though we became friends once we were both in college

I am the first PP and yes I am a little worried about the dynamics of 3 kids with the first two being very close in age and then the baby by themselves. We may end up having a 4th but time will tell. I am on the younger side so we have time (36 when baby 3 is born and haven't needed any medical intervention to have the 3 kids). But if we go for a 4th we would do it to have a close age gab between 3 and 4.

I have kids 3 yrs 3 months apart and they are very close. I don't think having kids very close together makes them better friends--sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. The competitiveness of sharing so much at the same time can cause problems, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know sooooo many people with this “get it over with” mentality.... you have no idea how much harder things are going to get. None.

Seriously. I'm not saying this to be obnoxious but life gets infinitely crazier and busier with kids once they hit late elementary, middle school, etc.
I LONG for the days when our only concerns were feeling them, getting them to sleep, etc.

We have 3 (within 3 years) and it's insanity now that they're in middle school. Give me babies any day.

[Anonymous]

OP I know you say you hate having babies but having older kids is so cool to you--but how do you actually know that? Your oldest kid is still a young toddler! And if you hate the "not being able to do anything" of babies, it gets way more hectic in many ways as they get older. And your intense baby will likely become an even more intense toddler and young child and possibly teen.