Should I tell my ex about my boyfriend before I intro him to the kids?

[Anonymous]

Hard Truths:

Your kids don't want to know this guy.

This guy doesn't want to know your kids.

Keep your romantic life and your kids completely separate and everyone will be happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who does not have kids but is dating a divorced dad, this is very interesting to me. I’ve met his kids several times, the first time several months ago. They know I’m his girlfriend. The other day he was musing that he wasn’t sure whether his ex was aware of me yet - he seems to figure the kids or a mutual friend might mention it. It doesn’t even seem to have crossed his mind to have told her first, or at all.

A real winner ...not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hard Truths:

Your kids don't want to know this guy.

This guy doesn't want to know your kids.

Keep your romantic life and your kids completely separate and everyone will be happier.

Pretty sure this will be impossible. We both have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hard Truths:

Your kids don't want to know this guy.

This guy doesn't want to know your kids.

Keep your romantic life and your kids completely separate and everyone will be happier.

Pretty sure this will be impossible. We both have kids.

Oh please. My parents divorced when I was 8. It was actually really good to see my parents remarry.

[Anonymous]

You started online dating right after the divorce??

Wow.... I was still making my kids feelings a priority & the absolute LAST thing I was thinking about immediately after my divorce was online dating.

You do you though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who does not have kids but is dating a divorced dad, this is very interesting to me. I’ve met his kids several times, the first time several months ago. They know I’m his girlfriend. The other day he was musing that he wasn’t sure whether his ex was aware of me yet - he seems to figure the kids or a mutual friend might mention it. It doesn’t even seem to have crossed his mind to have told her first, or at all.

Not a good sign that he didn't think it through how a new girlfriend would affect his kids. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You started online dating right after the divorce??

Wow.... I was still making my kids feelings a priority & the absolute LAST thing I was thinking about immediately after my divorce was online dating.

You do you though.

Oh stop Judge Judy. Bravo OP for getting right back on that horse. When you have pain from working out for the first time do you wait to feel better before heading back to the gym? No, you go right back in for leg day.

[Anonymous]

OP I think you've been very prudent. This relationship has lasted a year. It's not like you're introducing your kids to a revolving door of men.

I would tell ex so that kids don't have to. Just an fyi text and done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You started online dating right after the divorce??

Wow.... I was still making my kids feelings a priority & the absolute LAST thing I was thinking about immediately after my divorce was online dating.

You do you though.

You get the prize. Happy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You started online dating right after the divorce??

Wow.... I was still making my kids feelings a priority & the absolute LAST thing I was thinking about immediately after my divorce was online dating.

You do you though.

Way to project. Guess what? I can walk and chew gum. I can also date someone and simultaneously care a whole heck of a lot about my kids. Even love them to bits. Once again, I was not asking for opinions on my relationship, so please feel free to scroll on by.

[Anonymous]

His name is Joe and he is a Profession for State.

What a joke. How do you know his name is Joe and he is a Professor for State? And State what? Never lie, people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hard Truths:

Your kids don't want to know this guy.

This guy doesn't want to know your kids.

Keep your romantic life and your kids completely separate and everyone will be happier.

Yes this. You both have kids that are away for you for entire weekends, some holidays, and probably summer time. Use your time without kids to pursue your romantic relationship. You haven’t been divorced very long. Please don’t subject your kids to your dating life

[Anonymous]

Date away and have fun. Keep the kids out of it for another year at least. This way you don't have to tell the XH yet either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been divorced a year. Met my BF on Bumble right after that. We have had an awesome year. At this point we’ve met each other’s family and friends. We’ve taken a few weekend trips together. I didn’t think I was looking for something serious, but, here we are, and we love each other very much. We are ready to introduce our kids (ages 11-5) in the next month or so.

I don’t have the best relationship with my ex. Long story, but we essentially only have terse interactions about the kids. Share 50/50 custody.

What do I “owe” him for notice about telling the kids I have a BF? I would like to think if I tell him in advance that he would be able to be supportive and provide a sounding board for the kids. I do not think that will be the case though.

Let him know privately first. Think about how you would want him to approach you if the situation were reversed and take the opportunity now to set a precedent on how to handle this in the future. I wish you the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You started online dating right after the divorce??

Wow.... I was still making my kids feelings a priority & the absolute LAST thing I was thinking about immediately after my divorce was online dating.

You do you though.

Way to project. Guess what? I can walk and chew gum. I can also date someone and simultaneously care a whole heck of a lot about my kids. Even love them to bits. Once again, I was not asking for opinions on my relationship, so please feel free to scroll on by.

As a divorced mom of 2, I want to know how you do it? When to you physically find the time to date? ExH has the kids 1 night a week and 1 weekend overnight. Except both kids have so many after school/weekend activities, that all people that can drive are needed to drive. We have to divide and conquer for transportation logistics.

3 days a week both kids are out until 8pm. On the weekends, both kids have games and inevitably there are playdates that conflict with bday parties. By 8pm on Sat night, I am exhausted. And since we do it all again on Sunday morning starting at 8, all I want to do is go to bed. I don't know how to find time to date without making my kids give up something and that's not fair to them. So where do you find the time to date?