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General Parenting Discussion
Working parents - feel like I spend no time with my kids
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Anonymous
childcare does not cost 100k. That makes no sense. |
Anonymous
So no one should bother work if they make less than $100k? How expensive is your nanny — but part of it is keeping in your industry/company so you can ramp up when kids are older. I asssume OP is subtracting their COMBINED taxes from her single income. How much does DH make? What time can he pickup/work? |
Anonymous
In many industries, that’s the choice. At least it was when I opted out 14 years ago. If I had been making $200k+, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have chosen to be a SAHM, but my local government field, while personally rewarding, isn’t financially lucrative. For the OP making $200k, what are your long-term job prospects? If you tough it out and work the long hours now, will you have more flexibility in a few years? I think having flexibility becomes more important as the kids get older and are in school. Snow days, sick days, school holidays require flexibility. |
Anonymous
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I would look for a different job that is more flexible. You will probably take a salary hit so you have to weigh how important private school is vs public school or other life style choices. Your job might not be as fulfilling as your current job.
I have a very flexible job that allows me to be home after school. It is great for my child and for me. It pays well, but not $200,000 but not that far off, and cuts off at 40 hours. There is no chance of working from home. I am good at it, my customer likes the work that I do, I get good reviews. I am also bored, it is not mentally challenging. I like the people that I work with and the salary and the hours but it is boring. I am fine with that because I like being home after school and helping with his after school activities. We are able to save for college and take nice vacations. I suppose we could pay for private school but the public schools in our area are solid and provide some great opportunities so I we don't feel the need to pay for school. We live in a nice but smaller house, we choose to buy on one persons salary instead of both of ours to make saving easier. I am also aware that I have a rare type position, in terms of salary, hours, and flexibility, but they are out there. I know I could be making more if I took a different job but I would not be home after school and would need to work over 40 hours a week. It would be more challenging, which would be nice, but I am not willing to give up the time with my child. I have a friend who works 32 hours a week and has Friday off with a flexible schedule. She thinks that she might have to move to 40 hours, although keeping the hours, some time soon if she wants to be promoted and is tryng to make that choice. Take a look at the jobs out there and see if there is something that looks interesting at a salary that you can accept. Apply for those positions. |
Anonymous
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What do you do on the weekends? I work full time, but my weekends are spent nonstop with my kids.
Agree with the other posters that once their bedtimes move back it will be a game-changer. This is a short season. |
Anonymous
If you are paying for a Nanny and private school, which it sounds like this family is, I can see a job at $100,000 not being feasible. A full time Nanny who works over time, which sounds like this family, is not going to cheap. I don't have a Nanny and I have not gone looking for one so I don't know the going rate. Reading some of the Nanny forums It sounds like $20 is the minimum wage for a Nanny and that a good number of people are paying $25 an hour. So that is $41,600 to $52,000 without overtime and paying for benefits. Toss in private school tuition and you are at a good amount of money for the Nanny and private school. There are more affordable options but the OP specifically said that they like having a Nanny and planned on private schools. Whether we think that is crazy or not is not important, that is what the OP wants to provide. There are probably more flexible jobs that pay over $100,000 a year that she cold find but she has to go looking for them. I would also point out that the OP said that she could leave her job and it would not hurt them but that the private schools and vacations would be less feasible, so taking a pay hit is not out of the question. She is looking to make enough to be able to pay for the Nanny and Private school while still working. |
Anonymous
No, but if her DH makes over $200k/yr, then everything she is making is taxed at 35-37%. Plus state and local taxes. And childcare for two kids does cost $40-50k. So, maybe she would be bronging home a few hundred a month after paying for outsourcing, commute, work wardrobe, etc. At some point it isn’t worth it. |
Anonymous
But by keeping working she has a good option to quickly return to $200k when kids are a bit older. Its not just the immediate cost but the long term opportunity cost. |
Anonymous
I made less than half what you make and it was still worth it to me to continue with my flexible job after I had kids--not even close. It allowed me to work from home one day a week, never be home later than 5, and still keep a job that gives us health insurance, 18k per year toward retirement, and maybe 20k a year above the cost of childcare and taxes. And once the kids were in school, I didn't have to worry about finding a good job because I already had one. |
Anonymous
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You know, pretty much every woman I work with over the age of 60 took 10-15 years off or mostly after having children. It used to be pretty common to take a break in your career to focus on raising your family while your children are small.
If your husband is on board, I say quit your job and find something very small to keep your toe in the water. |
Anonymous
She might have that anyway, or she might not want it. |
Anonymous
| See if you can take a leave of absence for a year. That’s the time that is most beneficial to your infant, and it is unlikely to have a long term impact on your career. |
Anonymous
| How old is the older one? Are you dropping off at elementary, preschool, day care? If they're younger than kindergarten, let them arrive later. Instead of spending that hour in the morning getting ready and dropping off at school, just hang out with them and play and have the nanny get them ready and drop them off after you leave. For us, it made a huge difference to have some time with the kids in the morning that was fun time instead of functional time. |
Anonymous
EXACTLY. |
Anonymous
Your experience is not universal. There were many more barriers to women's employment in the past. I'm guessing you work with mostly white women, as this is not the typical experience of women of color. |