20 year old coworker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, we middle-aged men can't be allowed to mentor or otherwise involve ourselves with young women at work, even accompanied by our S/O or spouse.

It's because all of the other women will assume we're trying to get in her pants. Or that she's sleeping with us.

Honestly, if women are ever going to get a break, the first one is going to have to come from other women, but I'm not holding my breath.

Middle-aged man here. You're being a jackanape.

Mentoring is fine. Inappropriate socializing not fine.

I wouldn't invite a 20 y/o MALE subordinate to a concert under any circumstances.

Heck, I wouldn't invite a 20 y/o other than my kids to a concert. It's self-evidently creepy/weird.

Taking a young adult out with your spouse is "inappropriate," unless it's to the golf course? Who TF wrote this rule?

"Middle-aged man," my foot, Irene. You have a nice day.

[Anonymous]

BTW, middle-aged men do not use terms like "creepy/weird."

Them's broad's terms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, we middle-aged men can't be allowed to mentor or otherwise involve ourselves with young women at work, even accompanied by our S/O or spouse.

It's because all of the other women will assume we're trying to get in her pants. Or that she's sleeping with us.

Honestly, if women are ever going to get a break, the first one is going to have to come from other women, but I'm not holding my breath.

How is purchasing a birthday gift, especially one that is an “experience” that must be shared with the mentor outside of work professional mentorship?

Your response is equivalent to men who pout because they’re no longer “allowed” to compliment women’s bodies in the workplace. Women never needed that crap in the first place.

You're right, I wasn't thinking. I won't invite women at work to play golf or tennis with the boys anymore, either. It's not "professional" and contributes nothing to their development and advancement.

"If I don't get to use my position of authority to force young women into awkward psuedo-dates with me then I shouldn't be expected to treat them equally at work!"

[Anonymous]

How old are you, OP? Because you write like a teenager.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, we middle-aged men can't be allowed to mentor or otherwise involve ourselves with young women at work, even accompanied by our S/O or spouse.

It's because all of the other women will assume we're trying to get in her pants. Or that she's sleeping with us.

Honestly, if women are ever going to get a break, the first one is going to have to come from other women, but I'm not holding my breath.

How is purchasing a birthday gift, especially one that is an “experience” that must be shared with the mentor outside of work professional mentorship?

Your response is equivalent to men who pout because they’re no longer “allowed” to compliment women’s bodies in the workplace. Women never needed that crap in the first place.

You're right, I wasn't thinking. I won't invite women at work to play golf or tennis with the boys anymore, either. It's not "professional" and contributes nothing to their development and advancement.

"If I don't get to use my position of authority to force young women into awkward psuedo-dates with me then I shouldn't be expected to treat them equally at work!"

There we have it, more sexual jealousy. This would not be an issue if the 20 year-old in question was a man.

None of you would think twice about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, we middle-aged men can't be allowed to mentor or otherwise involve ourselves with young women at work, even accompanied by our S/O or spouse.

It's because all of the other women will assume we're trying to get in her pants. Or that she's sleeping with us.

Honestly, if women are ever going to get a break, the first one is going to have to come from other women, but I'm not holding my breath.

How is purchasing a birthday gift, especially one that is an “experience” that must be shared with the mentor outside of work professional mentorship?

Your response is equivalent to men who pout because they’re no longer “allowed” to compliment women’s bodies in the workplace. Women never needed that crap in the first place.

You're right, I wasn't thinking. I won't invite women at work to play golf or tennis with the boys anymore, either. It's not "professional" and contributes nothing to their development and advancement.

"If I don't get to use my position of authority to force young women into awkward psuedo-dates with me then I shouldn't be expected to treat them equally at work!"

There we have it, more sexual jealousy. This would not be an issue if the 20 year-old in question was a man.

None of you would think twice about it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, we middle-aged men can't be allowed to mentor or otherwise involve ourselves with young women at work, even accompanied by our S/O or spouse.

It's because all of the other women will assume we're trying to get in her pants. Or that she's sleeping with us.

Honestly, if women are ever going to get a break, the first one is going to have to come from other women, but I'm not holding my breath.

How is purchasing a birthday gift, especially one that is an “experience” that must be shared with the mentor outside of work professional mentorship?

Your response is equivalent to men who pout because they’re no longer “allowed” to compliment women’s bodies in the workplace. Women never needed that crap in the first place.

You're right, I wasn't thinking. I won't invite women at work to play golf or tennis with the boys anymore, either. It's not "professional" and contributes nothing to their development and advancement.

"If I don't get to use my position of authority to force young women into awkward psuedo-dates with me then I shouldn't be expected to treat them equally at work!"

There we have it, more sexual jealousy. This would not be an issue if the 20 year-old in question was a man.

None of you would think twice about it.

Pretty sure several comments have pointed out that this would be weird even if it was a male colleague. Trust me, no one is jealous of the middle aged guy who thinks he's still got it and doesn't realize how he's coming across to the 20 something he's trying to ingratiate himself with, and to everyone else in the office who's watching and wincing.

[Anonymous]

Just let the 20 year old coworker know that he's your man and that she better not get any ideas or expect any future amenities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, we middle-aged men can't be allowed to mentor or otherwise involve ourselves with young women at work, even accompanied by our S/O or spouse.

It's because all of the other women will assume we're trying to get in her pants. Or that she's sleeping with us.

Honestly, if women are ever going to get a break, the first one is going to have to come from other women, but I'm not holding my breath.

How is purchasing a birthday gift, especially one that is an “experience” that must be shared with the mentor outside of work professional mentorship?

Your response is equivalent to men who pout because they’re no longer “allowed” to compliment women’s bodies in the workplace. Women never needed that crap in the first place.

You're right, I wasn't thinking. I won't invite women at work to play golf or tennis with the boys anymore, either. It's not "professional" and contributes nothing to their development and advancement.

"If I don't get to use my position of authority to force young women into awkward psuedo-dates with me then I shouldn't be expected to treat them equally at work!"

There we have it, more sexual jealousy. This would not be an issue if the 20 year-old in question was a man.

None of you would think twice about it.

Pretty sure several comments have pointed out that this would be weird even if it was a male colleague. Trust me, no one is jealous of the middle aged guy who thinks he's still got it and doesn't realize how he's coming across to the 20 something he's trying to ingratiate himself with, and to everyone else in the office who's watching and wincing.

You're only watching because a young woman is at issue. Again, if it was a young man (despite what the female poster posing as a man said up thread), you wouldn't be watching because you wouldn't care.

Sexual jealousy is what this is about, nothing more.

[Anonymous]

Let him keep his plan but it's funny that she would want to be a 3rd wheel

Is it an expensive ticket?

[Anonymous]

If she is feeling pressured to go, that's not good either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, we middle-aged men can't be allowed to mentor or otherwise involve ourselves with young women at work, even accompanied by our S/O or spouse.

It's because all of the other women will assume we're trying to get in her pants. Or that she's sleeping with us.

Honestly, if women are ever going to get a break, the first one is going to have to come from other women, but I'm not holding my breath.

How is purchasing a birthday gift, especially one that is an “experience” that must be shared with the mentor outside of work professional mentorship?

Your response is equivalent to men who pout because they’re no longer “allowed” to compliment women’s bodies in the workplace. Women never needed that crap in the first place.

You're right, I wasn't thinking. I won't invite women at work to play golf or tennis with the boys anymore, either. It's not "professional" and contributes nothing to their development and advancement.

"If I don't get to use my position of authority to force young women into awkward psuedo-dates with me then I shouldn't be expected to treat them equally at work!"

There we have it, more sexual jealousy. This would not be an issue if the 20 year-old in question was a man.

None of you would think twice about it.

Pretty sure several comments have pointed out that this would be weird even if it was a male colleague. Trust me, no one is jealous of the middle aged guy who thinks he's still got it and doesn't realize how he's coming across to the 20 something he's trying to ingratiate himself with, and to everyone else in the office who's watching and wincing.

You're only watching because a young woman is at issue. Again, if it was a young man (despite what the female poster posing as a man said up thread), you wouldn't be watching because you wouldn't care.

Sexual jealousy is what this is about, nothing more.

I'm watching because a young woman is at issue because I was that young woman and know what it's like to have an inappropriate boss trying to break down your boundaries at work with little gifts and outings and emails/texts outside of work hours. I'm not jealous of her, I'm in her corner. But if you need to think the office is full of jealous harpies who all secretly want you in order to keep it in your pants, then think that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, we middle-aged men can't be allowed to mentor or otherwise involve ourselves with young women at work, even accompanied by our S/O or spouse.

It's because all of the other women will assume we're trying to get in her pants. Or that she's sleeping with us.

Honestly, if women are ever going to get a break, the first one is going to have to come from other women, but I'm not holding my breath.

Middle-aged man here. You're being a jackanape.

Mentoring is fine. Inappropriate socializing not fine.

I wouldn't invite a 20 y/o MALE subordinate to a concert under any circumstances.

Heck, I wouldn't invite a 20 y/o other than my kids to a concert. It's self-evidently creepy/weird.

Taking a young adult out with your spouse is "inappropriate," unless it's to the golf course? Who TF wrote this rule?

"Middle-aged man," my foot, Irene. You have a nice day.

48. Bald except on sides (#1 all around). Hair in my ears. Is that good enough for you or do you want details of my last prostate exam?

I'd invite a 20y/o subordinate to a business lunch. To golf. To a cup of coffee during workday.

But not to a concert. I was raised right.

[Anonymous]

Well, I will step in on the other side here. When I was in my early 20s and moved to DC on my own, one of my older male colleagues invited me to lunch at his house with his wife. I'd known him several months by that point and we just got along, and I had a really nice time. There was never any hint of a creepy vibe, then or ever after; he was just a nice person who thought we could all hang out, which we did. And yes, I got hit on by plenty of old lechers in my day who thought they were either subtle or God's gift, so I know plenty well what that's like by comparison. And now that I'm in my 40s I look upon those 20 year olds as if they could be my own kids - in his case his own son had recently gone to college so I think there was some element of empty-nest syndrome on their part - not every guy is a lustful creep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, we middle-aged men can't be allowed to mentor or otherwise involve ourselves with young women at work, even accompanied by our S/O or spouse.

It's because all of the other women will assume we're trying to get in her pants. Or that she's sleeping with us.

Honestly, if women are ever going to get a break, the first one is going to have to come from other women, but I'm not holding my breath.

Middle-aged man here. You're being a jackanape.

Mentoring is fine. Inappropriate socializing not fine.

I wouldn't invite a 20 y/o MALE subordinate to a concert under any circumstances.

Heck, I wouldn't invite a 20 y/o other than my kids to a concert. It's self-evidently creepy/weird.

Taking a young adult out with your spouse is "inappropriate," unless it's to the golf course? Who TF wrote this rule?

"Middle-aged man," my foot, Irene. You have a nice day.

48. Bald except on sides (#1 all around). Hair in my ears. Is that good enough for you or do you want details of my last prostate exam?

I'd invite a 20y/o subordinate to a business lunch. To golf. To a cup of coffee during workday.

But not to a concert. I was raised right.

56y/o male here but I wouldn’t do that unless it’s a group event. No way I am spending any time with a 20yo woman outside work. No f-ing way.