Moving While Your DC is in College

[Anonymous]

Since you could telework, why not just move to her college town? Is it a nice town?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since you could telework, why not just move to her college town? Is it a nice town?

Dear god. Moving to where your kid goes to college? Where ever would they park their helicopter???

That's a hard no.

[Anonymous]

Since you could telework, why not just move to her college town? Is it a nice town?

It's Williamsburg. HA! We wouldn't be the first to consider retirement there! We need more vibrancy I'm afraid and our DC would have none of it. Maybe that's a good sign.

[Anonymous]

Sounds wonderful OP! Congrats of now doing what you and DH please. What kind of telecommuting jobs did you find? Do you mind sharing the fields and if F/T or P/T? TIA. Richmond is so awesome - just make sure to do fun explorations/eating out when she comes so she can find some places that will become regular haunts. As you set up new holiday traditions, it will become normal. I agree, they're adults now and will shortly not even be coming around as much anyway.

We will be going through it soon - in the next year or two or three. We sort of warned the kids this will happen but of course it will be a shock especially because we intend to spend part of the year in other countries - probably Spain or Mexico, maybe Costa Rica. We plan to buy them tickets to visit. Not sure how summers/breaks will work though.

Thanks. Work is in software customer support and is totally related to the Government/contracting matrix. Looking for fun places and regular haunts is an excellent idea -- new traditions and stimulus. Also, we're getting a dog. Hope that helps.

[Anonymous]

I moved from NY to DC three weeks after daughters HS graduation. She is having a tough time adjusting as goes to school in Boston.

My other kids were school age and made new friends

It is also hard on SAHM.

Unless you have a full time job or attending schools in New City hard to fit in.

But my daughter is in a different state nine months a year. Hard to meet new people post HS in a town you live part time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Sounds wonderful OP! Congrats of now doing what you and DH please. What kind of telecommuting jobs did you find? Do you mind sharing the fields and if F/T or P/T? TIA. Richmond is so awesome - just make sure to do fun explorations/eating out when she comes so she can find some places that will become regular haunts. As you set up new holiday traditions, it will become normal. I agree, they're adults now and will shortly not even be coming around as much anyway.

We will be going through it soon - in the next year or two or three. We sort of warned the kids this will happen but of course it will be a shock especially because we intend to spend part of the year in other countries - probably Spain or Mexico, maybe Costa Rica. We plan to buy them tickets to visit. Not sure how summers/breaks will work though.

Thanks. Work is in software customer support and is totally related to the Government/contracting matrix. Looking for fun places and regular haunts is an excellent idea -- new traditions and stimulus. Also, we're getting a dog. Hope that helps.

Encourage her to look for internships or jobs in summer so she can start to make some friends in Richmond. That will probably make the biggest difference. Find some nature out there too. Day trip to Williamsburg, etc. Also do some airbnb or friend trips back up here so she can connect with friends and visit favorite haunts.

[Anonymous]

For her though it's never going to be home

That's good. I mean, it's not entirely bad. OP, my HS graduating pictures were of me along w/the "For Sale" sign in front of my childhood home. I had lived their 18 years. My parents moved 700 miles away. And I went to college no where near either location, and knew no one when I started at that college. Here's my take-away: Your daughter is getting a jump start on establishing her own independent adult life. She will be deciding where she wants to live, what she wants her adult life to look like. And she will have to work to make it happen. This is a good thing. No, she won't feel Richmond is home. It's not her home. If she wants DC, she'll have to work hard to make that happen. All this does not come without considerable angst but it is a needed maturing experience, and it is a good thing.

[Anonymous]

I wonder about this a lot OP. I would love to leave the DC area one day, but I fear whether my adult kids would be as compelled to visit, if they don't consider our new house as being home. One of the reasons I enjoy going back to see my parents is because I like being in my childhood home, reconnecting with old friends,etc. As much as I love my parents, if they moved to a different area, I don't know if I would feel quite as motivated in visiting them frequently.

[Anonymous]

My parents moved my freshman year in college. It would have been fine, but they also expected me to come visit them at their new house, and spend my summers there. It wasn't my home, I had no intention of making it my home. They couldn't understand why. It took them some time to realize their new home wasn't mine, and it took all of us some time to figure out how the relationship was going to work moving forward.

[Anonymous]

We are divorcing and we will keep the family home until the youngest is a rising junior in college.

We expect our kids to have internships that summer.

I spent a lifetime building the community around us. I’m not going to just move away from that as soon as my kids go to college.

I think your daughter has a right to her feelings and it does not make ger immature to be connected to a community of friends.

I don’t think a lot of people on DCUM will understand that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents moved my freshman year in college. It would have been fine, but they also expected me to come visit them at their new house, and spend my summers there. It wasn't my home, I had no intention of making it my home. They couldn't understand why. It took them some time to realize their new home wasn't mine, and it took all of us some time to figure out how the relationship was going to work moving forward.

Thank you for your honest answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents moved my freshman year in college. It would have been fine, but they also expected me to come visit them at their new house, and spend my summers there. It wasn't my home, I had no intention of making it my home. They couldn't understand why. It took them some time to realize their new home wasn't mine, and it took all of us some time to figure out how the relationship was going to work moving forward.

How did the relationship work going forward? How often do you and your siblings all get together with your parents? As someone who grew up in a town where my entire family - grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins on both sides lived, the idea of both of my kids eventually moving away breaks my heart, yet I know that in today's world, that's most likely going to happen. To me, the idea of only seeing my adult kids once or twice a year is very strange and depressing, yet obviously it's normal for large numbers of families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were you expecting it to be her home? She’s an adult. Her home will be college and then wherever she lives afterwards. Sounds like you have unrealistic expectations.

College isn't home. Most kids from good homes move back after college to save money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since you could telework, why not just move to her college town? Is it a nice town?

Dear god. Moving to where your kid goes to college? Where ever would they park their helicopter???

That's a hard no.

My coworker did this. She quit her job and moved her kids to the city where her son was accepted to law school
.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since you could telework, why not just move to her college town? Is it a nice town?

Dear god. Moving to where your kid goes to college? Where ever would they park their helicopter???

That's a hard no.

My coworker did this. She quit her job and moved her kids to the city where her son was accepted to law school
.

That's awfully risky. Did her son stay in the same town after graduating law school?