Who typically pays for occasional sitter when family visiting?

[Anonymous]

I can see them having sticker shock being first time parents coming from LCOL areas. Was it your idea to go out that many times without kids? If so you may have to pay for the difference. They may have agreed before knowing how much sitters here cost. Also, are they flying to see you? That cost may be on their mind too. For family's sake I'd just suck up and pay the difference.

[Anonymous]

Just tell them to pay you what they feel comfortable paying and you cover the difference. Yes, they should pay the $15/ hour but I'd cut them some slack for being new, clueless parents. They should also chip in and take you and your DH out one night since you are hosting them, buying groceries,, organizing event, etc. - but based on their reaction, I wouldn't hold my breath...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well...you have 3 kids and they have 1. Maybe they don't think it's fair that they pay half the babysitting cost when they only have 25% of the kids. Plus, you should cut them some slack because they're new parents.

Can you people read? They're not paying half, they're paying for a sitter for their own kid, who asked for $15/hour. OP pays her own sitter separately.

You may have to pay, OP, but I don't think you're being unreasonable. Did you explain that this sitter is specifically for their baby?

OP here, yes, explained that the second sitter would be for their baby. My sitter can perfectly handle our three, and with older two having 8pm bedtime, and baby STTN from 9pm, I even suggested that if they wanted, can have her cover only if needed. I 100% know she could handle it if needed since she has experience with multiples. With one sitter, the hourly rate asked for the 4 would be $28/hour, per my sitter's preference. We would have definitely only asked for $7/hour in that case. They being new parents though, understandably want another set of hands.

Still, you have 3/4 of the kids. Just get the 1 sitter if the cost is an issue and pay for the full amount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can see them having sticker shock being first time parents coming from LCOL areas. Was it your idea to go out that many times without kids? If so you may have to pay for the difference. They may have agreed before knowing how much sitters here cost. Also, are they flying to see you? That cost may be on their mind too. For family's sake I'd just suck up and pay the difference.

OP here. They'll be here for 8 days. Dinners were our idea but they also want to go out to an activity during the day, so adding that. I can understand that some may think going out for 3 evenings on a one week trip is a lot, but we don't see them regularly and have plans to go out with the kids somewhere for much of the time here as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well...you have 3 kids and they have 1. Maybe they don't think it's fair that they pay half the babysitting cost when they only have 25% of the kids. Plus, you should cut them some slack because they're new parents.

Can you people read? They're not paying half, they're paying for a sitter for their own kid, who asked for $15/hour. OP pays her own sitter separately.

You may have to pay, OP, but I don't think you're being unreasonable. Did you explain that this sitter is specifically for their baby?

Yes we can read, but OP didn't explain the cost differential in sitters in her first post. So OP is paying $7.33/hr for each of her 3 kids, and the ILs are paying 15$/hr for their 1 infant. I can see why that may not seem fair to them.

dp: I sort of see thst, but it’s not like either sitter would show up for $7/hr for one kid.

True but I can see how it would not seem fair to the ILs. OP and the ILs both have infants. Yet one is cared for for 2x the price of the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have 3x as many kids as they do. $15/hour to watch FOUR kids? One person?! That's a steal, and that person better be stealth.

OP here. No.

We are not having one sitter, but TWO for these dates.
We pay our sitter $22/hour for our kids. Her sister asked for $15/hour for care of two month old.

First, that is a LOT of babysitter time.

I'd combine the cost of the two sitters and divide by 4. She pays 1/4 and you pay 3/4. The sitters can divvy it up between themselves however they like.

[Anonymous]

You are doing to leave a 5 month old and 2 month old just to go out with family. This is like an alternate universe to me. If I were visiting you with my 2 mo I’d tell you to pound sand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well...you have 3 kids and they have 1. Maybe they don't think it's fair that they pay half the babysitting cost when they only have 25% of the kids. Plus, you should cut them some slack because they're new parents.

Can you people read? They're not paying half, they're paying for a sitter for their own kid, who asked for $15/hour. OP pays her own sitter separately.

You may have to pay, OP, but I don't think you're being unreasonable. Did you explain that this sitter is specifically for their baby?

Yes we can read, but OP didn't explain the cost differential in sitters in her first post. So OP is paying $7.33/hr for each of her 3 kids, and the ILs are paying 15$/hr for their 1 infant. I can see why that may not seem fair to them.

dp: I sort of see thst, but it’s not like either sitter would show up for $7/hr for one kid.

True but I can see how it would not seem fair to the ILs. OP and the ILs both have infants. Yet one is cared for for 2x the price of the other.

That's not the point though. IL needs a sitter. Sitter costs $15/hr. OP's sitter happily handles the 3 for $22/hr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are doing to leave a 5 month old and 2 month old just to go out with family. This is like an alternate universe to me. If I were visiting you with my 2 mo I’d tell you to pound sand.

I'm guessing they're not tying up IL's and making them go. Unclench.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are doing to leave a 5 month old and 2 month old just to go out with family. This is like an alternate universe to me. If I were visiting you with my 2 mo I’d tell you to pound sand.

What? I don't understand.

Are you saying you never go out without your 2 month old?

[Anonymous]

Holy smokes you are cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are doing to leave a 5 month old and 2 month old just to go out with family. This is like an alternate universe to me. If I were visiting you with my 2 mo I’d tell you to pound sand.

What? I don't understand.

Are you saying you never go out without your 2 month old?

Not when family is visiting, no.

I don’t need to have a double date with my SIL. We order sushi and play cards after the kids are asleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are doing to leave a 5 month old and 2 month old just to go out with family. This is like an alternate universe to me. If I were visiting you with my 2 mo I’d tell you to pound sand.

What? I don't understand.

Are you saying you never go out without your 2 month old?

NP here. I would never leave a 2 month old except with DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are doing to leave a 5 month old and 2 month old just to go out with family. This is like an alternate universe to me. If I were visiting you with my 2 mo I’d tell you to pound sand.

What? I don't understand.

Are you saying you never go out without your 2 month old?

NP here. I would never leave a 2 month old except with DH.

+1. Or my mom because she rocks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well...you have 3 kids and they have 1. Maybe they don't think it's fair that they pay half the babysitting cost when they only have 25% of the kids. Plus, you should cut them some slack because they're new parents.

Can you people read? They're not paying half, they're paying for a sitter for their own kid, who asked for $15/hour. OP pays her own sitter separately.

You may have to pay, OP, but I don't think you're being unreasonable. Did you explain that this sitter is specifically for their baby?

Yes we can read, but OP didn't explain the cost differential in sitters in her first post. So OP is paying $7.33/hr for each of her 3 kids, and the ILs are paying 15$/hr for their 1 infant. I can see why that may not seem fair to them.

dp: I sort of see thst, but it’s not like either sitter would show up for $7/hr for one kid.

True but I can see how it would not seem fair to the ILs. OP and the ILs both have infants. Yet one is cared for for 2x the price of the other.

That's not the point though. IL needs a sitter. Sitter costs $15/hr. OP's sitter happily handles the 3 for $22/hr.

The babies each need a sitter. Regular sitter can handle the IL’s baby and ILs pay 7$/hr. OP can pay the 15$/hr for her infant.