Friend hasn't acknowledged my recent childbirth. Weird?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The world does not revolve around you and your baby. Get over it.

It's your second kid and nobody cares but you a d your o mediate family.

[Anonymous]

Wow I can’t believe any of you hunk that’s normal. This is a close friend. If my close friend didn’t call me when I had my baby I’d call her like what is going on? And she would tell me and we’d talk about it because that’s what friends do. Either something’s goijg on or you’re not as friendly as you think

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The world does not revolve around you and your baby. Get over it.

It's your second kid and nobody cares but you a d your o mediate family.

Damn this is PP. I’m excited when people I’m only acquaintances with have their fifth kid. I care about my friends, don’t yours?

[Anonymous]

OMG, I'd say get a hobby, but...you have a kid and a newborn. Maybe focus on them, and your recovery?

Get over yourself. You didn't discover fire, you had a baby. For the second time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also think this is odd and insensitive. You just had a baby! She's had many weeks to contact you and give you her congratulations, ask how you are, and see if your son wants an extra couple of playdates to give you a break. It takes one minute to send a text.

Now, devil's advocate: if she's like me, she procrastinates because she wants to call you. But she doesn't find the right time to call, time passes, and then it seems like a quick text message is inadequate in light of the delay. Then it becomes awkward to call because time has passed, she's feeling guilty and awkward, which makes her not call, which turns into a vicious cycle of non-communication. Now she's feeling guilty, awkward, a bit self-loathing, and overall avoidant. If, in fact, she's like me, then the best thing for you to do is reach out to her. I know that seems counterintuitive. But shoot her a quick text photo of something relevant to your relationship, and then suggest a park meet-up or coffee at your house so she can meet the baby.

You're psycho. Honestly.

[Anonymous]

Yes, please try to be mad about being slighted 8 weeks postpartum. By a person that congratulated your husband and told him to pass her congrats to you.

[Anonymous]

I would be upset too OP. But just reach out and see what’s up with her!

[Anonymous]

Surprised no one has suggested this, but does she only have the one child? Perhaps she is going through secondary infertility and/or just had a miscarriage. My friend from college texted me her first ultrasound picture not even 48 hours after we'd been to an ultrasound to find that our baby had no heartbeat. When I responded with a short "congrats" she expressed discontent, and then I had to divulge that DW had just had her second miscarriage in six months and it was a very difficult time. As others have suggested, maybe she's going through some stuff. Or maybe she's just really busy and as one PP suggested, realizes it's awkward now because it's been so long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Surprised no one has suggested this, but does she only have the one child? Perhaps she is going through secondary infertility and/or just had a miscarriage. My friend from college texted me her first ultrasound picture not even 48 hours after we'd been to an ultrasound to find that our baby had no heartbeat. When I responded with a short "congrats" she expressed discontent, and then I had to divulge that DW had just had her second miscarriage in six months and it was a very difficult time. As others have suggested, maybe she's going through some stuff. Or maybe she's just really busy and as one PP suggested, realizes it's awkward now because it's been so long.

Are you a lesbian couple?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Surprised no one has suggested this, but does she only have the one child? Perhaps she is going through secondary infertility and/or just had a miscarriage. My friend from college texted me her first ultrasound picture not even 48 hours after we'd been to an ultrasound to find that our baby had no heartbeat. When I responded with a short "congrats" she expressed discontent, and then I had to divulge that DW had just had her second miscarriage in six months and it was a very difficult time. As others have suggested, maybe she's going through some stuff. Or maybe she's just really busy and as one PP suggested, realizes it's awkward now because it's been so long.

Are you a lesbian couple?

yes

[Anonymous]

UPDATE: I asked my husband again, since writing the OP and he filled in more details. He said her husband has been confiding in him about how stressed she's been with work. My DH mentioned she was busy but apparently it's to the point her hair is falling out. She told my DH when he stopped by to meet with her DH how bad she felt that she had not reached out. Could she have reached out and said she's swamped instead of feeling guilty? I guess but when under that kind of stress you're just plain overwhelmed and should be given a measure of grace.

Long story short I wish DH told me this weeks ago. Neither of us have family local so we became friends and relied on each other over the years. That's why I noticed her not saying anything when it would have gone unnoticed for someone else.

I guess some of you blunt posters were right.

[Anonymous]

This OP: I do think some of you would feel SOMETHING, be it hurt, confusion, if a close friend didn't send you a one line text related to a significant life event. I don't think that makes you self indulgent. She helped throw me a surprise shower...I didnt really want anything for a second baby...so I would say we were reasonably close.

Anyway it's moot now that I dragged out the details from DH. Even if there was no reason I had already decided not to make a big deal about it since I hate awkward interactions and our sons are friends. I can't think of a time when I've not reached out to a friend after a significant life event but I HAVE felt the kind of turmoil and stress that I'd hope one would excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also think this is odd and insensitive. You just had a baby! She's had many weeks to contact you and give you her congratulations, ask how you are, and see if your son wants an extra couple of playdates to give you a break. It takes one minute to send a text.

Now, devil's advocate: if she's like me, she procrastinates because she wants to call you. But she doesn't find the right time to call, time passes, and then it seems like a quick text message is inadequate in light of the delay. Then it becomes awkward to call because time has passed, she's feeling guilty and awkward, which makes her not call, which turns into a vicious cycle of non-communication. Now she's feeling guilty, awkward, a bit self-loathing, and overall avoidant. If, in fact, she's like me, then the best thing for you to do is reach out to her. I know that seems counterintuitive. But shoot her a quick text photo of something relevant to your relationship, and then suggest a park meet-up or coffee at your house so she can meet the baby.

I think you might have anxiety.

[Anonymous]

who has time for this?

[Anonymous]

Because no one cares about your new baby but you.