Girls Who Don't Like Dresses

[Anonymous]

My daughter is now 12 and has never like dresses or skirts. But sometimes in life we have to wear things we don't necessarily like. It's not for all day.

[Anonymous]

I'd got for black pants and a really dressy sweater and nice flats -- sort of the girls equivalent of women's business casual.

[Anonymous]

I think any of the outfits that people have mentioned would be fine. As for only finding pink and purple, I've not had trouble finding different colors at Gap, Old Navy, Tea, J. Crew, Target and any number of kids' clothing places. My DD's favorite color is turquoise, and she refuses to wear any pink. She's not particularly tomboyish, but she's 8 turning 9 and she associates pink with little girls and it's too "babyish". So your options for clothing may expand as your DD gets a little older -- very few 8 and 9 yos want to look ultra-girly and princessy.

[Anonymous]

Will she wear a skort?

I was your child and when my girl friends introduced me to a skort my life was changed.

https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/oneill-nevada-wide-leg-pants-little-girls-big-girls/5222199?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FKids%2FGirls&color=grape%20nectar

Also something like this...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is now 12 and has never like dresses or skirts. But sometimes in life we have to wear things we don't necessarily like. It's not for all day.

I disagree, there is no reason to ever wear a dress. There are lots of other options. I am 43 now and have not worn a dress or skirt since I was 6, I just don’t like them. There is no need to force a girl to wear a dress just because that is what girls “should do”.

[Anonymous]

More girls pants you can dress up...

https://www.forever21.com/us/shop/catalog/product/girls/girls_bottom-pants/2000340347

https://www.forever21.com/us/shop/catalog/product/girls/girls_bottom-pants/2000337315

https://www.target.com/p/girls-tie-front-pants-art-class-153-black/-/A-54264859

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Check out primary.com. Most of their stuff is unisex and comes in a variety of colors -- no designs, no gender stereotyping. They have some dresses that are super comfortable (organic cotton, not fancy), and I can convince even my dress-hating DD to wear one when necessary.

Thanks - I agree they have some great, comfortable, cute dresses. I showed her and she immediately said she hated them - just because they are dresses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A suit?

I just got my dd one, she loved it!

You can pair a blazer with leggings or wear the whole deal.

Where did you find this??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about a jumpsuit? You could use this for so many occasions.

https://www.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/aqua-girls-ruffled-shoulder-jumpsuit-big-kid-100-exclusive?ID=3286178&CategoryID=3866#fn=ppp%3Dundefined%26sp%3DNULL%26rId%3DNULL%26spc%3D19%26cm_kws%3Dgirls%20jumpsuit%26spp%3D5%26pn%3D1%7C1%7C5%7C4%26rsid%3Dundefined%26smp%3DallMultiMatchWithSpelling

I really like this idea! I will try talking her into this... it's adorable.

[Anonymous]

I would ask her what she wants to wear for dressy occasions.

My friend was able to buy her daughter a girl’s bathing that was Minecraft online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can she wear a dressy tunic over nice leggings? Or a dressy skort and nice top?

I sympathize OP as I was that kid too. Hated dresses, cut the lace off my socks, hated the patent leather dressy shoes (80s). My parents required that I wear a dress for synagogue and other dressy events but compromised by letting me have input into picking it -- and not complaining if I picked something plain, like red and black stripes instead of pink with frills and lace.

If you can, find out why she hates dresses so much. For me it was because I felt self-conscious in them. Even at 6 I thought I was fat (I wasn't, but I wasn't as skinny as my super-skinny sister, which in my mind translated to fat). Getting to pick the dress helped because I could choose colors I liked.

I don't think there is anything wrong with saying "look, there is a dress code; when it's a dressy event, girls wear a dress or a skirt and boys wear nice pants and a polo shirt. You have to wear a dress or skirt to be appropriately dressed, just like you don't wear shorts in the winter or a scarf in the summer. But you can help pick the dress or skirt."

I think this is a good point - to find out the "why" behind it. I think (and hope!) she has good self-image/body-image, but I will have to explore that a little more. I really think that she just likes boy things/thinks they're more comfortable/wants to be like her big brother/and possibly, someday, could want to be an actual boy but we're totally not there yet at all, and who knows. She likes her long hair, and likes being a girl who likes boy things.

[Anonymous]

I agree that black pants is probably fine for most dressy events. My girls liked dresses and I still made sure they always had black pants and a white shirt, because they were basics. In your case, the shirt doesn't have to be white, just something at least as dressy as a polo.

If you feel that black trousers aren't dressy enough, you might try a split skirt (gauchos, culottes). That's what my dd wore when she played cello and wanted to match the rest of the girls in the orchestra.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can she wear a dressy tunic over nice leggings? Or a dressy skort and nice top?

I sympathize OP as I was that kid too. Hated dresses, cut the lace off my socks, hated the patent leather dressy shoes (80s). My parents required that I wear a dress for synagogue and other dressy events but compromised by letting me have input into picking it -- and not complaining if I picked something plain, like red and black stripes instead of pink with frills and lace.

If you can, find out why she hates dresses so much. For me it was because I felt self-conscious in them. Even at 6 I thought I was fat (I wasn't, but I wasn't as skinny as my super-skinny sister, which in my mind translated to fat). Getting to pick the dress helped because I could choose colors I liked.

I don't think there is anything wrong with saying "look, there is a dress code; when it's a dressy event, girls wear a dress or a skirt and boys wear nice pants and a polo shirt. You have to wear a dress or skirt to be appropriately dressed, just like you don't wear shorts in the winter or a scarf in the summer. But you can help pick the dress or skirt."

Why? Why can't girls wear nice pants and a polo shirt? Or a different kind of shirt? There are SO many options for tops: sweaters, button downs, polos, etc. Let the kid wear what she wants. Insisting on a level of formality appropriate to the occasion is reasonable. Forcing anyone to conform to specific gender norms is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of options:

Black pants (a ponte knit would be comfortable but look nice) and a nicer top
Khakis and a nicer top
Leggings and a dressier tunic
A jumpsuit

Also--my daughter loves dresses but doesn't like pink, and I don't have a hard time finding girl's clothing in colors other than pink or purple. Check out Lands End and Primary, for example.

Thanks - my comment about pink/purple was really geared more towards girls athletic clothing. They really don't make many of those in primary colors. Nike shorts seem to fit my daughter well, but in her size, I couldn't find basketball shorts for girls in any other color.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is adorable:

I'm a woman who wears trousers, blazers, and fun shoes most days of the week. I don't hate dresses or skirts, but those clothes are what I find most comfortable.

Love this.