I am resentful of women who got a leg up in life because of who they married

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As I watch couples pair up it becomes evident how much of a difference who women marry makes a difference in their general life circumstances. Even successful career women when paired with equally successful men end up with twice the privilege and perks.

I’m jealous that I missed out.

Yes, this is true. And unfortunately it simply means life is not fair. I married a man who, through tremendous hard work and ambition, has provided us with a very comfortable life. I am fortunate in this regards. But I did fall in love with DH because he was ambitious and hard working and that was a big part of the attraction to him. I could have fallen in love with kind hearted environmentalist who would never make more than 40k a year but I chose not to.....

LOL, you almost pulled it off until you added that last line.

Anyway OP, think of it this way: most or the women who put up with jerks to marry rich were probably chosen by hir husbands because they looked good in their 20s. Those women will be traded in for the newer (younger) model in a few years. Doesn't sound so glamorous then.

[Anonymous]

The best thing is to marry the kind, smart, ambitious man who adores you and can’t wait to be a father.

[Anonymous]

OP, the problem is you not the other women. There is a reason the Bible says not to envy.

[Anonymous]

I feel sorry for you, that you have so little self esteem. Never once in my life was my idea of happiness tied to another person or material objects and money.

[Anonymous]

It probably looks easy for us now. But when we met he was a stock boy and I was making more money than he was at my low paying office job. We were so broke!

He was (and is) one of the funniest people I've ever met. His sharp wit has kept me laughing for 30 years. Plus, he's just a good, decent, hard working person. All of those qualities and more are what brought us together and kept us together.

[Anonymous]

This is true and why I stay married. Life is simply easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It probably looks easy for us now. But when we met he was a stock boy and I was making more money than he was at my low paying office job. We were so broke!

He was (and is) one of the funniest people I've ever met. His sharp wit has kept me laughing for 30 years. Plus, he's just a good, decent, hard working person. All of those qualities and more are what brought us together and kept us together.

This. During our vows we broke out in hilarious laughing when the minister mentioned for richer or poorer. We were saddled with debt but worked hard for our relationship and where we are now I never imagined the life I e have and certainly didn’t plan it. And I certainly didn’t look at a life plan when i fell in love with my dh.

[Anonymous]

This is a troll post. Every so often, someone writes a post about being jealous about this (or something else male-partner-money/power related) and they always have the same exact writing style.

[Anonymous]

I married “well”, and unfortunately the qualities that make someone good at their career and with money also tend to make them bad at marriage. Lots of people in our circle end up divorced or stay together but emotionally check out.

[Anonymous]

Well, then why didn't you get a man that will give you a "leg up?" Your life, your choices.

[Anonymous]

Like attracts like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As I watch couples pair up it becomes evident how much of a difference who women marry makes a difference in their general life circumstances. Even successful career women when paired with equally successful men end up with twice the privilege and perks.

I’m jealous that I missed out.

My former MIL grew up in genteel poverty. At 18, she had the “luck” to meet my former FIL. He was from a wealthy family. They began dating and married within two years. She has not wanted for any material desire since then, hasn’t done any housework, and her kids were set financially for life. She has not known affection or peace in the home. For over 60 years. Some perk.

[Anonymous]

OK, but not all wealthy, successful people are jerks. Yes, some people "marry well" and are happy. Rich doesn't always mean jerk! I wouldn't spend energy on resenting them, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married “well”, and unfortunately the qualities that make someone good at their career and with money also tend to make them bad at marriage. Lots of people in our circle end up divorced or stay together but emotionally check out.

+1. Most of the SVP and C level people I know and work with have been divorced at least once. Many work hard because they prioritize success at work over family (long hours, frequent travel) to a certain extent. Very few seem to REALLY have it all. The grass is rarely as green as it appears. Sure there are exceptions - but you can't really judge by outward appearances.

[Anonymous]

What an absolute waste of time and energy.

Focus on YOU: what you can do to increase your earning capacity, making deeper and better friendships, finding activities you love, drawing a great partner to you, and above all shifting your mindset to one of contentment.