How much harder are three kids?

[Anonymous]

I love having three. My hardest transition was from 0 to 1.

Our third wasn't a great sleeper, but he wasn't horrible, either. And, like most youngest kids, he was so adaptable! He loved going to events at the older kids' preschool and elementary school. He has done fewer activities than the older kids, but that's mostly guided by him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It gets harder as they get older and have school work, projects, social lives and activities.

I have 3 who are now in late elementary and middle school and it's a lot to keep up with and I'm much busier than my friends with 2 kids are.
When they were young I didn't notice it as much--feeding 3 kids vs. 2 isn't much different. Putting 3 kids to bed vs. 2 isn't much different. But trying to consistently be 3 places
at once (now that they all have busy lives outside of our family) makes our family feel much busier than my friends with 2 kids and infinitely busier than our friends with 1 kid.

Agree. I only have two. I wanted another when they were a baby and toddler but DH did not. Now they are both in ES and I am so glad we stopped at 2. My fiends with three seem so crazy busy all the time.

We are stopping at two also. Sometimes I love the idea of a family with three but frankly so many of the stages seem so hard. If you have a baby and elementary schoolers / preschoolers, you cart the baby everywhere. Once the baby becomes an elementary schooler, you have so much trouble juggling activities and can never feel present in everyone’s things. The families I know with three all seem stretched very thin. I struggled with this as I love the idea of a bigger family but we are set now. Mine are seven and five

Me exactly. I considered a third because I love my kids and I love spending time with them. But eventually I came to the conclusion that having a third would not increase my enjoyment more, it would just stretch me thinner and probably give me less time to enjoy the kids -- I'd spend more time just taking care of their basic needs, and have less time to cuddle, read stories and just hang out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It gets harder as they get older and have school work, projects, social lives and activities.

I have 3 who are now in late elementary and middle school and it's a lot to keep up with and I'm much busier than my friends with 2 kids are.
When they were young I didn't notice it as much--feeding 3 kids vs. 2 isn't much different. Putting 3 kids to bed vs. 2 isn't much different. But trying to consistently be 3 places
at once (now that they all have busy lives outside of our family) makes our family feel much busier than my friends with 2 kids and infinitely busier than our friends with 1 kid.

Agree. I only have two. I wanted another when they were a baby and toddler but DH did not. Now they are both in ES and I am so glad we stopped at 2. My fiends with three seem so crazy busy all the time.

We are stopping at two also. Sometimes I love the idea of a family with three but frankly so many of the stages seem so hard. If you have a baby and elementary schoolers / preschoolers, you cart the baby everywhere. Once the baby becomes an elementary schooler, you have so much trouble juggling activities and can never feel present in everyone’s things. The families I know with three all seem stretched very thin. I struggled with this as I love the idea of a bigger family but we are set now. Mine are seven and five

Me exactly. I considered a third because I love my kids and I love spending time with them. But eventually I came to the conclusion that having a third would not increase my enjoyment more, it would just stretch me thinner and probably give me less time to enjoy the kids -- I'd spend more time just taking care of their basic needs, and have less time to cuddle, read stories and just hang out.

I am curious to know the ages of the kids mentioned in this thread. When you have little kids, you can't imagine (even if people tell you!) how different your life will be when they are in late elementary and middle school. When I had little kids, my day was always over by 7pm. Kids were in bed, I was drinking a beer and hanging with my husband. Now that they are older, you almost can't help but be out three to four nights a week with activities (two kids, two sports, maybe a music lesson thrown in.) The logistics of having kids gets exponentially more complex the older they get. Sure, you aren't changing diapers, or helping someone learn how to go to the bathroom, but it just FILLS UP so much more quickly. a third baby doesn't seem like much, but that baby is going to turn into a full sized human in about 12 years. It is a TREMENDOUS jump in places you have to be, gallons of milk to buy, tuition to pay, and homework to manage.

[Anonymous]

****also, there is no way to keep to a 15 minute rule when they play real sports, or get involved in Olympics of the Mind, or play any sport that requires a turf field. It's easy to keep little kids close to home, it becomes much harder when they get older.

[Anonymous]

For me the adjustment with 1 was hard, 2 was easy, and 3 was hard. It depends on ages too and adjusting to new routines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It gets harder as they get older and have school work, projects, social lives and activities.

I have 3 who are now in late elementary and middle school and it's a lot to keep up with and I'm much busier than my friends with 2 kids are.
When they were young I didn't notice it as much--feeding 3 kids vs. 2 isn't much different. Putting 3 kids to bed vs. 2 isn't much different. But trying to consistently be 3 places
at once (now that they all have busy lives outside of our family) makes our family feel much busier than my friends with 2 kids and infinitely busier than our friends with 1 kid.

Agree. I only have two. I wanted another when they were a baby and toddler but DH did not. Now they are both in ES and I am so glad we stopped at 2. My fiends with three seem so crazy busy all the time.

We are stopping at two also. Sometimes I love the idea of a family with three but frankly so many of the stages seem so hard. If you have a baby and elementary schoolers / preschoolers, you cart the baby everywhere. Once the baby becomes an elementary schooler, you have so much trouble juggling activities and can never feel present in everyone’s things. The families I know with three all seem stretched very thin. I struggled with this as I love the idea of a bigger family but we are set now. Mine are seven and five

Me exactly. I considered a third because I love my kids and I love spending time with them. But eventually I came to the conclusion that having a third would not increase my enjoyment more, it would just stretch me thinner and probably give me less time to enjoy the kids -- I'd spend more time just taking care of their basic needs, and have less time to cuddle, read stories and just hang out.

I am curious to know the ages of the kids mentioned in this thread. When you have little kids, you can't imagine (even if people tell you!) how different your life will be when they are in late elementary and middle school. When I had little kids, my day was always over by 7pm. Kids were in bed, I was drinking a beer and hanging with my husband. Now that they are older, you almost can't help but be out three to four nights a week with activities (two kids, two sports, maybe a music lesson thrown in.) The logistics of having kids gets exponentially more complex the older they get. Sure, you aren't changing diapers, or helping someone learn how to go to the bathroom, but it just FILLS UP so much more quickly. a third baby doesn't seem like much, but that baby is going to turn into a full sized human in about 12 years. It is a TREMENDOUS jump in places you have to be, gallons of milk to buy, tuition to pay, and homework to manage.

Man my kids are littler and my day is nowhere near over by 7pm! I think it depends on the kid’s personalities really.

[Anonymous]

I have twin 3 year olds and a 6 week old. I’m utterly miserable and think longingly of when we only had two. The baby doesn’t sleep and the twins have become terrors since his birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have twin 3 year olds and a 6 week old. I’m utterly miserable and think longingly of when we only had two. The baby doesn’t sleep and the twins have become terrors since his birth.

<<<hugs>>>. This is the hardest time. Anyone who says otherwise has either a) forgotten how hard it was, b)dramatically decreased the amount of help that they have (3000 hours of nanny to 1250 hours of school + 750 hours of aftercare/summer camp) and doesnt recognize that, or c) increased some other responsibility outside their home. Probably at least two of the three.

Hang in there and take care of yourself. It really does get easier!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a big gap. I had 2 under 2 and it was very hard. I had third when older kids were 5 and 7 and it has been more manageable.

We also have more money now so we outsource more.

It totally depends though. My best friend has a 5 and 7 year old, and a 1 year old. She loves her baby, of course, but she said it's difficult. She wants to do baby things for the baby, but the older kids activities take the priority. The baby isn't home to nap during the day either.

Pp here. I don’t work. I already feel like I don’t spend enough quality time with the big kids. I drive them around after school. When they are in school, I do baby things. Don’t know how I would manage if I worked.

[Anonymous]

Something that I think hasn't been mentioned is not the number, but the age gap. Our 1st and 3rd are just 5 years apart (11/9/6), which is pretty typical, but that makes finding age-appropriate activities harder. If we go to a museum, oldest two would be happy but littlest is bored after a short time. Oldest one doesn't want to hang out at the playground. Or just finding a movie that's appropriate for the whole family or a book to read to them all is hard.

Hopefully in a few years though the oldest will be able to help the youngest out more, which you wouldn't have with two closer in age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a big gap. I had 2 under 2 and it was very hard. I had third when older kids were 5 and 7 and it has been more manageable.

We also have more money now so we outsource more.

It totally depends though. My best friend has a 5 and 7 year old, and a 1 year old. She loves her baby, of course, but she said it's difficult. She wants to do baby things for the baby, but the older kids activities take the priority. The baby isn't home to nap during the day either.

Then your friend is doing it wrong if the baby can’t nap at home. Aren’t the 7 and 5 year old in school? Why wouldn’t the baby be home then?

[Anonymous]

In my circle, the Moms with 3 are much busier with logistics. One is very organized, and devotes herself to the planning/scheduling/driving - and she works FT. Another Mom with 3 barely works, but is quite resentful of how much work her 3 kids are. Another SAHM with 3 goes cheerfully about her day of driving kids non-stop.

Ours are all in the tween/early teen phase of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Something that I think hasn't been mentioned is not the number, but the age gap. Our 1st and 3rd are just 5 years apart (11/9/6), which is pretty typical, but that makes finding age-appropriate activities harder. If we go to a museum, oldest two would be happy but littlest is bored after a short time. Oldest one doesn't want to hang out at the playground. Or just finding a movie that's appropriate for the whole family or a book to read to them all is hard.

Hopefully in a few years though the oldest will be able to help the youngest out more, which you wouldn't have with two closer in age.

This is a good point. A five or six year age difference is different than 3 years. It’s harder to find things to do. You will have kids at home longer, longer before all the kids are in school, etc.

[Anonymous]

Now that they're in school, I'm finding the multiplication of boring events like awards ceremonies, class parties, mediocre performances, school events where parents are invited pretty unpleasant. Even the kids who are in the same school will have, say, the awards ceremony for each grade on a different day.

Maybe I have something wrong with me, but I don't get a warm feeling in my heart watching my kid recite a poem. I just think about all the other things I'd like to be doing so that we can do family stuff when school is out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something that I think hasn't been mentioned is not the number, but the age gap. Our 1st and 3rd are just 5 years apart (11/9/6), which is pretty typical, but that makes finding age-appropriate activities harder. If we go to a museum, oldest two would be happy but littlest is bored after a short time. Oldest one doesn't want to hang out at the playground. Or just finding a movie that's appropriate for the whole family or a book to read to them all is hard.

Hopefully in a few years though the oldest will be able to help the youngest out more, which you wouldn't have with two closer in age.

This is a good point. A five or six year age difference is different than 3 years. It’s harder to find things to do. You will have kids at home longer, longer before all the kids are in school, etc.

My older kids help out with the baby. DH and I divide and conquer. There are plenty of places to still go with a toddler and elementary kids. All kids love animals and science.