How much harder are three kids?

[Anonymous]

I am seven years older than my sister. We have a brother between us. My mom always says that she loved having my sister as a baby. My mom was less stressed as a mom since she knew how to do things, she was more established at work, and she already had her friends. She says that she has my sister just for herself. That she wanted to just have the experience of having a baby and just enjoying her babyhood without worry about work, money, etc. And I think that she really did enjoy raising my sister. I don’t have any memory of not being able to do things, and I know that she was about to do just about whatever she wanted to. And I love my sister. I’m so glad that I have her.

[Anonymous]

I've heard lots of bad things about two to three

Outnumbered etc..

But I might want three anyway for a chance at both genders

[Anonymous]

I think three is twice as much work as two. With two, they sometimes played with each other and were occupied. With three, someone is always out and wanting your attention. Mine are now a bit older and the activities are crushing. They don’t even do anything crazy like dance or travel sports—that would just be impssobike with three unless I quit my job and had full time help.
It does depend a bit on whether your kids end up with similar interests, etc. my kids all are fairly different and like different things so it’s just hard to find overlaps. I know families with three where two of the kids do the same extracurriculars, etc. I do think it was easier when the third was a toddler/preschooler and didn’t have her own opinions and independent desires. Managing three competing sets of interests is difficult—basically someone is always dissatisfied. Maybe that builds character?

[Anonymous]

We are new to three and it has been totally fine so far. The baby has a great temperament and sleeps well. The older two didn’t miss a beat. It wasn’t a shock to the system like 0-1and 1-2. Our oldest is 5, and we are doing zero activities for as long as possible. When the time comes, I like PP’s 15 minute rule. Or even better, only activities at school.

Logistics are a bit tough, and 3-7 pm can be intense. The outnumbered concern never bothered me. I was outnumbered when with the older two and that was fine.

The best thing we did was to get the kids in a very established, early, bedtime routine. By 7:30 they’re all in bed and the kid portion of the day is done.

[Anonymous]

I have three - 6,4, and 1. The number of events in elementary school is seriously no joke. I knew having a third would mean limiting activities, which I accepted, but I dread when all three are in elementary school now!

I WOH and no nanny (daycare).

[Anonymous]

It pretty much broke us. Of course I wouldn’t trade her for the world but I had three under five and even with a huge amount of help, it was painfully difficult. My oldest son, then 4.5, started acting out and was asked to leave school. His issues sprank up suddenly and we were running to various therapists while caring for a newborn while my middle son, just two, distanced himself from me and would scream and cry when nanny or my mother left the room. DH and I were at each other’s throats. It was like the perfect storm. And the baby had horrible colic and was miserable for four months.

I wish we’d waited. Even now, and with more help than you can imagine, there is not enough of me to go around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have three - 6,4, and 1. The number of events in elementary school is seriously no joke. I knew having a third would mean limiting activities, which I accepted, but I dread when all three are in elementary school now!

I WOH and no nanny (daycare).

I have 2 in elementary and a toddler. I am a SAHM and have paid help a few times per week. DH has unpredictable hours and I can’t rely on him. Half the time he makes it home to take kids to sports.

Kids do after school activities at school, piano lessons at home and sports. Sports is the killer. I hate soorts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had one very difficult baby, but not easy 4 year old. We didn’t want a second, but had a surprise and now have an awesome 1 year old. I went from never wanting a second to now wanting a third. Be honest. How much harder is the jump to 3? We both work fulll time and have a great nanny.

It is much harder. Much, much harder. It made me frumpy, too. It’s killed my career, too.

[Anonymous]

The more the merrier, ha ha. Sounds like you have a great situation for a larger family. But this is a decision you and your husband have to make. We never really planned our family, just had kids as God provided. We are blessed with 5 and I look back at the years with amazement at how we carried on and enjoyed the blessings. Now that they are all grown and have kids of their own we enjoy the big family holidays and special times and of course lots of love. It is a challenge but one well worth the effort. God bless you and your family.