DH all of sudden a lot less interested in having sex...what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH has always enjoyed having sex. Nothing crazy but expressed interest at least several times a week. Was often playful and flirty. For nearly the past year this has changed. Initiates maybe once every two weeks. Not flirty or fun. I find myself having to ask, which is something new. Sometimes he takes me up on my offer but other times he doesn't want to do anything. No other changes in habits, though he no longer gives my nice gifts for birthday or Christmas (used to give jewelry, for my last birthday I got a cookbook and nothing for mother's day). When I jokingly make a comment, he tells me he's just getting old. He is 49 years old. Is this typical for men in their late 40s?

Now you know how many men in long-term marriages feel. Does he have performance issues? If so, maybe that makes him hesitant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you initiate? If it's like my DW, "hey, we should probably have sex tonight" that's not exactly going to get his motor running if something is stressing him to the point that his sex drive has changed.

I’d be okay with that.

That's how I come on to my DH. Or I grab his D and just get started.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So maybe I need to up my game? I just never needed to do anything in the past. He was always interested and seeking sex. I will try some new things and see. Guess I just want to know if it is common for men in their late 40s to be less interested in sex

Losing interest in your late 40s doesn't happen on its own, naturally. Either he's tried of initiating, he's banging someone else, or he has physical issues.

My DW is happy to oblige but almost never initiates. So, my advice to you - try seducing him, for a change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's having an affair.

This

[Anonymous]

49 year old male. I would be happy with sex every other day

[Anonymous]

44 isn’t old yet; the sudden and significant libido loss would concern me. And the fact that he’s just accepted it as normal and par for the course. Is he on any medication?

[Anonymous]

No meds. He plays a sport on weekends but doesn't exercise during the week due to lack of time. He looks good for his age.He makes comments about how he feels old, so maybe he is depressed? Just weird for a guy who liked regular sex to be so indifferent now.

[Anonymous]

I would talk to him about it.

[Anonymous]

How many more times do we tell you that he is having an affair?

If it is depression, there would be other signs too.

[Anonymous]

I should. I have made a few casual remarks but not had a real discussion. Think I will do that and see what he says. Suspect he will just tell me that he is old but I am going to tell him that it is not normal for a guy his age to have such low desire. Sounds like everybody who has replied agree most guys don't lose interest at 48!

[Anonymous]

When things slow down a bit with my DH I just remind him how good sex is with a long BJ. I actually enjoy it too so it's not a sacrifice!

[Anonymous]

Porn addiction?

[Anonymous]

My DH has never lost interest in sex and I'm thankful he hasn't. I have no idea what the secret is except he knows I really enjoy it as well. He's not a mad dog in heat every night and his timing is usually pretty good so the "too tired" excuse is rarely heard.

[Anonymous]

42yo male here. I definitely noticed a drop in my libido the past 2 years. Just not that interested compared to before. Otherwise life is fine, like no additinoal stress, and definitely not having an affair. Actually, I'd have no interest in an affair -- libido isnt' high enough for it!

Some of my friends of similar age have reported a libido drop to..

Had good sex with DW 2 nights ago. Have no desire for it since then. I guess I have a much longer recovery time or something.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he has lower testosterone now that he is approaching the big 5-0.

Or maybe he is having an affair.

Does he watch a lot of porn??
Because if he does, that is a common reason that married men lose interest in their own wives.

So sad, but true.