Cameras and paranoid DH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he was really paranoid and evil he would have hidden the cameras and not told you about them. That way you’d never even have known.

Why not just move normally through your day and let him play jr detective and see nothing?

You're another creep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you post before? Someone posted about a paranoid DH who got an alarm system for the front door and turned it on remotely when she was in the house.

OP here. No, that was not me. We do have an alarm (with interior motion detectors), which makes this all the more ridiculous. I might have accepted the exterior cameras (recording, not alerting him) because they’d capture the face of anyone breaking in. Once they’re in, why do we need another video? The motion detectors would alert the alarm company.

He has no real reason for the paranoia. Nothing remotely bad has ever happened to him or anyone in his family.

We have no kids, although we were letting nature take its course there.

We are currently not speaking. I was visiting my parents for Labor Day weekend and expected he’d have taken care of the cameras while I was away. No luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? You need to remove yourself from this relationship. I really hope you don’t have kids.

Plus 100, from a man

This is only going to get worse. And he won't give you access to the cameras? Man, I feel for you

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he was really paranoid and evil he would have hidden the cameras and not told you about them. That way you’d never even have known.

Why not just move normally through your day and let him play jr detective and see nothing?

It’s hard to hide huge dome cameras on the corners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you post before? Someone posted about a paranoid DH who got an alarm system for the front door and turned it on remotely when she was in the house.

OP here. No, that was not me. We do have an alarm (with interior motion detectors), which makes this all the more ridiculous. I might have accepted the exterior cameras (recording, not alerting him) because they’d capture the face of anyone breaking in. Once they’re in, why do we need another video? The motion detectors would alert the alarm company.

He has no real reason for the paranoia. Nothing remotely bad has ever happened to him or anyone in his family.

We have no kids, although we were letting nature take its course there.

We are currently not speaking. I was visiting my parents for Labor Day weekend and expected he’d have taken care of the cameras while I was away. No luck.

Make an appointment with a divorce attorney. TODAY. Do NOT warn your husband.

[Anonymous]

He obviously suspects you are cheating.

[Anonymous]

Start using birth control. If you aren't speaking hopefully you aren't having sex, either.

Do leave this relationship unless he gets help and takes those down. ASAP. I might suggest leaving anyway.

[Anonymous]

Move out. No more sexy time with him - you don’t want to bring kids into this.

[Anonymous]

Short of those poor women who write in that their husbands are hitting them, your situation is the worst I have read. Yes, far worse than infidelity.

I literally do not know anyone that paranoid and controlling. I can assure you he has or will soon have your phone hacked with a keystroke detector. Be careful what you write on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he was really paranoid and evil he would have hidden the cameras and not told you about them. That way you’d never even have known.

Why not just move normally through your day and let him play jr detective and see nothing?

You're another creep.

Ok, whatever.

Op! Move to an Airbnb immediate and file for divorce. Only return to your home with a police escort to gather your personal items. If you do not do this you are in mortal danger/having your civil rights violated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Short of those poor women who write in that their husbands are hitting them, your situation is the worst I have read. Yes, far worse than infidelity.

I literally do not know anyone that paranoid and controlling. I can assure you he has or will soon have your phone hacked with a keystroke detector. Be careful what you write on here.

Listen to this post above, OP. Take your phone and laptop etc. to someone who can go through them and find out if he's tracking you through them. Do it today.

Do not under any circumstances have sex with him--get out of the house. If he tries to convince you to have sex and promises to use a condom, don't fall for it. I know a woman whose controlling husband was trying to get her "accidentally" pregnant by putting holes in condoms. Sounds bizarre but he wanted her to stay and seems to have thought if she got pregnant he'd be able to get her to stay.

You need to gather important documents ASAP--copies of your joint tax returns, mortgage documents, your passport if you have one, etc. Controllers are likely to do things like change locks when you leave so you have to beg for access to get things like your own passport if you didn't grab it before leaving the house.

Be glad you don't have kids or you would have to have contact with him for the rest of your kids' childhoods.

Is he generally paranoid, fearing break-ins etc., or is he primarily paranoid that YOU are up to something? Did he ever frame this as "I want to keep you safe" or did he go straight to "I'm doing this because I think you're sneaky"? Or did he only accuse you of being shady after you questioned the cameras? There's a difference between a person who is overall stupidly paranoid and one who focuses all the suspicion on one person from the start. But even if he ends up getting help (and he sounds mentally off), you need to get documents, get your tech inspected, and get out until he either agrees to remove cameras and see a therapist intensely for a long time. Even then I'm not sure a marriage would be salvageable. OP, was he always this way? Does he try to control you in other ways? Is all this a change in his personality that could indicate a mental health crisis--?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Move out. No more sexy time with him - you don’t want to bring kids into this.

PLEASE, for the love of god, do NOT bring a kid into this situation. This is not something marriage counseling will help. Your husband has severe control issues, and it will only get worse. Have you ever seen the movie Sleeping with the Enemy? I know movies aren't real life, but this movie scenario is very realistic. I've lived though a spouse who had severe control issues and paranoia. I finally fled after he accused me of having a lesbian affair with my best friend (absolutely no truth to that), told her he would slit her throat if she ever contacted me again, and beat me up and locked me in our basement. Please, get out now before a kid enters into this picture. I am SO grateful I did not have any children with him. I'm really sorry OP. Please, get out now before it escalates, because, believe me, it can get much worse.

[Anonymous]

Get on birth control now and then figure out what you need to do.

[Anonymous]

If he were really paranoid generally, he wouldn't have a camera in the house. My security guy told us those are the ones that you don't want someone to hack. Plus he said that many people don't want to see an intruder walking around inside their home - makes them feel even more unsafe.

[Anonymous]

OP, paranoia can be a symptom of illness -- either mental illness or other types of illness. How old is your DH? Paranoid Schizophrenia can develop in males around ages of 25. If he's older, huntington's or parkinson's or medications or marijuana use.