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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Short of those poor women who write in that their husbands are hitting them, your situation is the worst I have read.  Yes, far worse than infidelity.

I literally do not know anyone that paranoid and controlling.  I can assure you he has or will soon have your phone hacked with a keystroke detector.  Be careful what you write on here.[/quote]

Listen to this post above, OP. Take your phone and laptop etc. to someone who can go through them and find out if he's tracking you through them. Do it today.

Do not under any circumstances have sex with him--get out of the house. If he tries to convince you to have sex and promises to use a condom, don't fall for it. I know a woman whose controlling husband was trying to get her "accidentally" pregnant by putting holes in condoms. Sounds bizarre but he wanted her to stay and seems to have thought if she got pregnant he'd be able to get her to stay.

You need to gather important documents ASAP--copies of your joint tax returns, mortgage documents, your passport if you have one, etc. Controllers are likely to do things like change locks when you leave so you have to beg for access to get things like your own passport if you didn't grab it before leaving the house.

Be glad you don't have kids or you would have to have contact with him for the rest of your kids' childhoods.

Is he generally paranoid, fearing break-ins etc., or is he primarily paranoid that YOU are up to something? Did he ever frame this as "I want to keep you safe" or did he go straight to "I'm doing this because I think you're sneaky"? Or did he only accuse you of being shady after you questioned the cameras? There's a difference between a person who is overall stupidly paranoid and one who focuses all the suspicion on one person from the start. But even if he ends up getting help (and he sounds mentally off), you need to get documents, get your tech inspected, and get out until he either agrees to remove cameras and see a therapist intensely for a long time. Even then I'm not sure a marriage would be salvageable. OP, was he always this way? Does he try to control you in other ways? Is all this a change in his personality that could indicate a mental health crisis--? [/quote]

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