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How to deal with husband’s rage events?
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Anonymous
| sounds like he is feeling emasculated. if I had to cook for my wife all day and she was making 2X my income, I'd feel like a loser and probably want to take it out on someone. he needs to get his fat ass to the gym and burn off that stress. if it really is as bad as the OP describes then she needs to set this jerk straight ASAP. my wife knows when I come home (sometimes) that I need 10-15 minutes to decompress. She needs the same sometimes. Far cry from just being a constant ass to your wife and kids. |
Anonymous
| OP- what YOU are doing to your kids is just as bad. By staying with your husband, you are allowing your poor children to be emotionally abused. Really, social services should be called to get your children out- they are innocent. You are CHOOSING to stay. |
Anonymous
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OP, he is likely SEVERELY depresed and needs help ASAP. Whether you stay is up to you, but I would bet you could do better! I have a friend in this situation, she keeps claiming she "can't change him". Her loss, he's been married before and he constantly teeters on the edge. She's going to miss out and her kids are going to learn sick behavior (she keeps making excuses for him - AAARGH!) in the meantime. Please don't be her. It will cost you AND your kids in the long run. |
Anonymous
| Get him in CBT - Cognitive behavioral therapy |
Anonymous
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Talk to a lawyer and find out how not to pay alimony and get custody of the kids. Your kids will be better off with a nanny and you will feel much better.
I can't imagine coming home every night knowing I am going to get yelled at! My god that is absolutely insane! You are a smart women you know perfectly well this is so bad for your children and you. Your children come first. Your poor children having to listen to all that yelling, that has got to be traumatic for them. |
Anonymous
| OP, you say your husband "won't let you" go to the grocery store. What does that mean? |
Anonymous
| The boys will grow up to be like him. The girls will grow up to look for a man like him. Do you want that? |
Anonymous
| OP, are you familiar with "Borderline Personality Disorder?" Google it and see if this fits your situation. |
Anonymous
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OP, you need to get help for yourself. Your statements about how you are living and your justifications re: his "stress" make no sense. I don't know what your childhood was like, but you need to find a therapist familiar with abusive relationships who can help you figure out why you are so emeshed and why you are doing this to your children.
I'm also curious about the "won't let you" stuff. There also seems to be a weird competitive tone to your relationship, what is up with that? |
Anonymous
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Your family is a murder/suicide waiting to happen.
You do realize that your children are afraid that their father is going to kill their mother, right? You have described his behavior Monday through Saturday - what is Sunday, his day of rest? |
Anonymous
| Maybe your husband's diabetic? Or just an asshole. |
Anonymous
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You need to start making an escape plan. Anyone who is capable at hurling that much rage towards you in front of your children is capable of more.
I pray you can find peace and safety for you and your children, OP. |
Anonymous
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder-fact-sheet/index.shtml |
Anonymous
| Please, please get help. I worry for your sweet children and you. |
Anonymous
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OP here. Thanks for the encouragement, but please rest assured he is not a monster that wants to hurt/kill me or my children. Rather, he is a normal (if angry) guy who has a hard time dealing with the stresses of daily life. Thanks for the borderline personality disorder link, I’ll do some more research on that...I do plan on resolving the stiuation to everyone's benefit either through therapy where he gets better or divorce so the kids and I don't have to deal with it anymore. In the meantime if anyone has any coping techniques those would be welcome too!
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