Unwanted divorce

[Anonymous]

You're

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sad. He convinced you his cheating was your fault. All abusers blame their victim. "She made me do it" is a common theme. Police and judges hear it all the time. If you've gone to a good counselor they will tell you cheating is abuse.

You need to get to the point where you acknowledge he never loved you. Someone that loves you doesn't do these things, and will likely cheat on the next woman. Be happy you will be out of a "fake" marriage, and can concentrate on your own mental heath. It will get better.

I know you have kids, but I would get him out of my life except minimal texts concerning the kids. This is a guy who thinks you'll be a doormat during the divorce, and after. Don't be that person, and see a good lawyer.

He’s not an abuser.

Neglecting your spouse could theoretically be abuse. OP is not an angel here so stop acting like it. All you can do is live and learn and do better in your next relationship. Take note, people.

Caring for babies and having them take priority in the early years isn’t neglect. Only a narcissistic man-child would think that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sad. He convinced you his cheating was your fault. All abusers blame their victim. "She made me do it" is a common theme. Police and judges hear it all the time. If you've gone to a good counselor they will tell you cheating is abuse.

You need to get to the point where you acknowledge he never loved you. Someone that loves you doesn't do these things, and will likely cheat on the next woman. Be happy you will be out of a "fake" marriage, and can concentrate on your own mental heath. It will get better.

I know you have kids, but I would get him out of my life except minimal texts concerning the kids. This is a guy who thinks you'll be a doormat during the divorce, and after. Don't be that person, and see a good lawyer.

He’s not an abuser.

Neglecting your spouse could theoretically be abuse. OP is not an angel here so stop acting like it. All you can do is live and learn and do better in your next relationship. Take note, people.

Caring for babies and having them take priority in the early years isn’t neglect. Only a narcissistic man-child would think that way.

Why get married? Just get a sperm donor then. Don’t dupe someone into thinking you want to love and cherish them, and you know, HAVE A MARRIAGE, when you just wanted them to impregnate you. Cut it with the excuses.

[Anonymous]

OP, I agree with the others who have said DH is coming up with excuses and will probably continue this pattern of behavior. My father was like this, claiming my mother was "cold", lacked passion, etc. and it's why he was "forced" to find intimacy with other women. Who knows the truth, it was probably somewhere in the middle, but he'd also cheated on his first wife (my mom was #2). Then we all laughed when wife #3 cheated on him.

I'm sorry you're going through this, it truly sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sad. He convinced you his cheating was your fault. All abusers blame their victim. "She made me do it" is a common theme. Police and judges hear it all the time. If you've gone to a good counselor they will tell you cheating is abuse.

You need to get to the point where you acknowledge he never loved you. Someone that loves you doesn't do these things, and will likely cheat on the next woman. Be happy you will be out of a "fake" marriage, and can concentrate on your own mental heath. It will get better.

I know you have kids, but I would get him out of my life except minimal texts concerning the kids. This is a guy who thinks you'll be a doormat during the divorce, and after. Don't be that person, and see a good lawyer.

He’s not an abuser.

Neglecting your spouse could theoretically be abuse. OP is not an angel here so stop acting like it. All you can do is live and learn and do better in your next relationship. Take note, people.

Caring for babies and having them take priority in the early years isn’t neglect. Only a narcissistic man-child would think that way.

Why get married? Just get a sperm donor then. Don’t dupe someone into thinking you want to love and cherish them, and you know, HAVE A MARRIAGE, when you just wanted them to impregnate you. Cut it with the excuses.

That's what you got out of that post? How is living in mom's basement treating you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sad. He convinced you his cheating was your fault. All abusers blame their victim. "She made me do it" is a common theme. Police and judges hear it all the time. If you've gone to a good counselor they will tell you cheating is abuse.

You need to get to the point where you acknowledge he never loved you. Someone that loves you doesn't do these things, and will likely cheat on the next woman. Be happy you will be out of a "fake" marriage, and can concentrate on your own mental heath. It will get better.

I know you have kids, but I would get him out of my life except minimal texts concerning the kids. This is a guy who thinks you'll be a doormat during the divorce, and after. Don't be that person, and see a good lawyer.

He’s not an abuser.

Neglecting your spouse could theoretically be abuse. OP is not an angel here so stop acting like it. All you can do is live and learn and do better in your next relationship. Take note, people.

Caring for babies and having them take priority in the early years isn’t neglect. Only a narcissistic man-child would think that way.

Why get married? Just get a sperm donor then. Don’t dupe someone into thinking you want to love and cherish them, and you know, HAVE A MARRIAGE, when you just wanted them to impregnate you. Cut it with the excuses.

You sound unhinged. I didn’t get a sperm donor because I didn’t need one. DH had I had deep love and respect for one another and felt we had a strong foundation through which to grow our family. Upon welcoming our first, we realized that the human we created relied on us for absolutely everything, and that his needs would have to take precedence during that period. Our needs would need to be prioritized and some things would have to take a back seat because, quite simply, adding a human takes up more time and energy than we had before. As our son grew and became more independent, our priorities changed again, and we had more time/energy for the things that took a backseat. When we had our second child, we had to sacrifice some things again because the baby and preschooler needed the bulk of our focus again. As they’ve both grown and entered new phases, so have we. Our relationship has evolved as our family has grown. Our priorities have shifted. Our love has grown deeper. I feel so grateful that I married a man who also prioritized the needs of the growing family we created together, and that we both felt confident that we would come back together after the tougher baby phases.

[Anonymous]

Did you put on weight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sad. He convinced you his cheating was your fault. All abusers blame their victim. "She made me do it" is a common theme. Police and judges hear it all the time. If you've gone to a good counselor they will tell you cheating is abuse.

You need to get to the point where you acknowledge he never loved you. Someone that loves you doesn't do these things, and will likely cheat on the next woman. Be happy you will be out of a "fake" marriage, and can concentrate on your own mental heath. It will get better.

I know you have kids, but I would get him out of my life except minimal texts concerning the kids. This is a guy who thinks you'll be a doormat during the divorce, and after. Don't be that person, and see a good lawyer.

He’s not an abuser.

Neglecting your spouse could theoretically be abuse. OP is not an angel here so stop acting like it. All you can do is live and learn and do better in your next relationship. Take note, people.

Caring for babies and having them take priority in the early years isn’t neglect. Only a narcissistic man-child would think that way.

Why get married? Just get a sperm donor then. Don’t dupe someone into thinking you want to love and cherish them, and you know, HAVE A MARRIAGE, when you just wanted them to impregnate you. Cut it with the excuses.

You sound unhinged. I didn’t get a sperm donor because I didn’t need one. DH had I had deep love and respect for one another and felt we had a strong foundation through which to grow our family. Upon welcoming our first, we realized that the human we created relied on us for absolutely everything, and that his needs would have to take precedence during that period. Our needs would need to be prioritized and some things would have to take a back seat because, quite simply, adding a human takes up more time and energy than we had before. As our son grew and became more independent, our priorities changed again, and we had more time/energy for the things that took a backseat. When we had our second child, we had to sacrifice some things again because the baby and preschooler needed the bulk of our focus again. As they’ve both grown and entered new phases, so have we. Our relationship has evolved as our family has grown. Our priorities have shifted. Our love has grown deeper. I feel so grateful that I married a man who also prioritized the needs of the growing family we created together, and that we both felt confident that we would come back together after the tougher baby phases.

And to OP- my apologies for this tangent on your thread. I just couldn’t stand to see some clearly narcissistic man-child claiming you neglected your spouse for caring for your young children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sad. He convinced you his cheating was your fault. All abusers blame their victim. "She made me do it" is a common theme. Police and judges hear it all the time. If you've gone to a good counselor they will tell you cheating is abuse.

You need to get to the point where you acknowledge he never loved you. Someone that loves you doesn't do these things, and will likely cheat on the next woman. Be happy you will be out of a "fake" marriage, and can concentrate on your own mental heath. It will get better.

I know you have kids, but I would get him out of my life except minimal texts concerning the kids. This is a guy who thinks you'll be a doormat during the divorce, and after. Don't be that person, and see a good lawyer.

He’s not an abuser.

Neglecting your spouse could theoretically be abuse. OP is not an angel here so stop acting like it. All you can do is live and learn and do better in your next relationship. Take note, people.

Caring for babies and having them take priority in the early years isn’t neglect. Only a narcissistic man-child would think that way.

Why get married? Just get a sperm donor then. Don’t dupe someone into thinking you want to love and cherish them, and you know, HAVE A MARRIAGE, when you just wanted them to impregnate you. Cut it with the excuses.

You sound unhinged. I didn’t get a sperm donor because I didn’t need one. DH had I had deep love and respect for one another and felt we had a strong foundation through which to grow our family. Upon welcoming our first, we realized that the human we created relied on us for absolutely everything, and that his needs would have to take precedence during that period. Our needs would need to be prioritized and some things would have to take a back seat because, quite simply, adding a human takes up more time and energy than we had before. As our son grew and became more independent, our priorities changed again, and we had more time/energy for the things that took a backseat. When we had our second child, we had to sacrifice some things again because the baby and preschooler needed the bulk of our focus again. As they’ve both grown and entered new phases, so have we. Our relationship has evolved as our family has grown. Our priorities have shifted. Our love has grown deeper. I feel so grateful that I married a man who also prioritized the needs of the growing family we created together, and that we both felt confident that we would come back together after the tougher baby phases.

Was your husband low libido. Some men cannot take a backseat in that category.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sad. He convinced you his cheating was your fault. All abusers blame their victim. "She made me do it" is a common theme. Police and judges hear it all the time. If you've gone to a good counselor they will tell you cheating is abuse.

You need to get to the point where you acknowledge he never loved you. Someone that loves you doesn't do these things, and will likely cheat on the next woman. Be happy you will be out of a "fake" marriage, and can concentrate on your own mental heath. It will get better.

I know you have kids, but I would get him out of my life except minimal texts concerning the kids. This is a guy who thinks you'll be a doormat during the divorce, and after. Don't be that person, and see a good lawyer.

He’s not an abuser.

Neglecting your spouse could theoretically be abuse. OP is not an angel here so stop acting like it. All you can do is live and learn and do better in your next relationship. Take note, people.

Caring for babies and having them take priority in the early years isn’t neglect. Only a narcissistic man-child would think that way.

Why get married? Just get a sperm donor then. Don’t dupe someone into thinking you want to love and cherish them, and you know, HAVE A MARRIAGE, when you just wanted them to impregnate you. Cut it with the excuses.

You sound unhinged. I didn’t get a sperm donor because I didn’t need one. DH had I had deep love and respect for one another and felt we had a strong foundation through which to grow our family. Upon welcoming our first, we realized that the human we created relied on us for absolutely everything, and that his needs would have to take precedence during that period. Our needs would need to be prioritized and some things would have to take a back seat because, quite simply, adding a human takes up more time and energy than we had before. As our son grew and became more independent, our priorities changed again, and we had more time/energy for the things that took a backseat. When we had our second child, we had to sacrifice some things again because the baby and preschooler needed the bulk of our focus again. As they’ve both grown and entered new phases, so have we. Our relationship has evolved as our family has grown. Our priorities have shifted. Our love has grown deeper. I feel so grateful that I married a man who also prioritized the needs of the growing family we created together, and that we both felt confident that we would come back together after the tougher baby phases.

And to OP- my apologies for this tangent on your thread. I just couldn’t stand to see some clearly narcissistic man-child claiming you neglected your spouse for caring for your young children.

PP here. I’m a woman. Nice try, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sad. He convinced you his cheating was your fault. All abusers blame their victim. "She made me do it" is a common theme. Police and judges hear it all the time. If you've gone to a good counselor they will tell you cheating is abuse.

You need to get to the point where you acknowledge he never loved you. Someone that loves you doesn't do these things, and will likely cheat on the next woman. Be happy you will be out of a "fake" marriage, and can concentrate on your own mental heath. It will get better.

I know you have kids, but I would get him out of my life except minimal texts concerning the kids. This is a guy who thinks you'll be a doormat during the divorce, and after. Don't be that person, and see a good lawyer.

He’s not an abuser.

Neglecting your spouse could theoretically be abuse. OP is not an angel here so stop acting like it. All you can do is live and learn and do better in your next relationship. Take note, people.

Caring for babies and having them take priority in the early years isn’t neglect. Only a narcissistic man-child would think that way.

Why get married? Just get a sperm donor then. Don’t dupe someone into thinking you want to love and cherish them, and you know, HAVE A MARRIAGE, when you just wanted them to impregnate you. Cut it with the excuses.

You sound unhinged. I didn’t get a sperm donor because I didn’t need one. DH had I had deep love and respect for one another and felt we had a strong foundation through which to grow our family. Upon welcoming our first, we realized that the human we created relied on us for absolutely everything, and that his needs would have to take precedence during that period. Our needs would need to be prioritized and some things would have to take a back seat because, quite simply, adding a human takes up more time and energy than we had before. As our son grew and became more independent, our priorities changed again, and we had more time/energy for the things that took a backseat. When we had our second child, we had to sacrifice some things again because the baby and preschooler needed the bulk of our focus again. As they’ve both grown and entered new phases, so have we. Our relationship has evolved as our family has grown. Our priorities have shifted. Our love has grown deeper. I feel so grateful that I married a man who also prioritized the needs of the growing family we created together, and that we both felt confident that we would come back together after the tougher baby phases.

Was your husband low libido. Some men cannot take a backseat in that category.

Lol - no, he wasn’t. He a grown-up so he knows how to practice self-control and take care of himself, if necessary. For the love, we’ve done a great disservice to the men in this country to let them think they get get away w this nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sad. He convinced you his cheating was your fault. All abusers blame their victim. "She made me do it" is a common theme. Police and judges hear it all the time. If you've gone to a good counselor they will tell you cheating is abuse.

You need to get to the point where you acknowledge he never loved you. Someone that loves you doesn't do these things, and will likely cheat on the next woman. Be happy you will be out of a "fake" marriage, and can concentrate on your own mental heath. It will get better.

I know you have kids, but I would get him out of my life except minimal texts concerning the kids. This is a guy who thinks you'll be a doormat during the divorce, and after. Don't be that person, and see a good lawyer.

He’s not an abuser.

Neglecting your spouse could theoretically be abuse. OP is not an angel here so stop acting like it. All you can do is live and learn and do better in your next relationship. Take note, people.

Caring for babies and having them take priority in the early years isn’t neglect. Only a narcissistic man-child would think that way.

Why get married? Just get a sperm donor then. Don’t dupe someone into thinking you want to love and cherish them, and you know, HAVE A MARRIAGE, when you just wanted them to impregnate you. Cut it with the excuses.

Why have children if you can't share your time with them.

Don't have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sad. He convinced you his cheating was your fault. All abusers blame their victim. "She made me do it" is a common theme. Police and judges hear it all the time. If you've gone to a good counselor they will tell you cheating is abuse.

You need to get to the point where you acknowledge he never loved you. Someone that loves you doesn't do these things, and will likely cheat on the next woman. Be happy you will be out of a "fake" marriage, and can concentrate on your own mental heath. It will get better.

I know you have kids, but I would get him out of my life except minimal texts concerning the kids. This is a guy who thinks you'll be a doormat during the divorce, and after. Don't be that person, and see a good lawyer.

He’s not an abuser.

Neglecting your spouse could theoretically be abuse. OP is not an angel here so stop acting like it. All you can do is live and learn and do better in your next relationship. Take note, people.

Caring for babies and having them take priority in the early years isn’t neglect. Only a narcissistic man-child would think that way.

Why get married? Just get a sperm donor then. Don’t dupe someone into thinking you want to love and cherish them, and you know, HAVE A MARRIAGE, when you just wanted them to impregnate you. Cut it with the excuses.

You sound unhinged. I didn’t get a sperm donor because I didn’t need one. DH had I had deep love and respect for one another and felt we had a strong foundation through which to grow our family. Upon welcoming our first, we realized that the human we created relied on us for absolutely everything, and that his needs would have to take precedence during that period. Our needs would need to be prioritized and some things would have to take a back seat because, quite simply, adding a human takes up more time and energy than we had before. As our son grew and became more independent, our priorities changed again, and we had more time/energy for the things that took a backseat. When we had our second child, we had to sacrifice some things again because the baby and preschooler needed the bulk of our focus again. As they’ve both grown and entered new phases, so have we. Our relationship has evolved as our family has grown. Our priorities have shifted. Our love has grown deeper. I feel so grateful that I married a man who also prioritized the needs of the growing family we created together, and that we both felt confident that we would come back together after the tougher baby phases.

And to OP- my apologies for this tangent on your thread. I just couldn’t stand to see some clearly narcissistic man-child claiming you neglected your spouse for caring for your young children.

PP here. I’m a woman. Nice try, though.

Yikes. That’s disappointing. Well, many say we can be our own worst enemies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sad. He convinced you his cheating was your fault. All abusers blame their victim. "She made me do it" is a common theme. Police and judges hear it all the time. If you've gone to a good counselor they will tell you cheating is abuse.

You need to get to the point where you acknowledge he never loved you. Someone that loves you doesn't do these things, and will likely cheat on the next woman. Be happy you will be out of a "fake" marriage, and can concentrate on your own mental heath. It will get better.

I know you have kids, but I would get him out of my life except minimal texts concerning the kids. This is a guy who thinks you'll be a doormat during the divorce, and after. Don't be that person, and see a good lawyer.

He’s not an abuser.

Neglecting your spouse could theoretically be abuse. OP is not an angel here so stop acting like it. All you can do is live and learn and do better in your next relationship. Take note, people.

Caring for babies and having them take priority in the early years isn’t neglect. Only a narcissistic man-child would think that way.

Why get married? Just get a sperm donor then. Don’t dupe someone into thinking you want to love and cherish them, and you know, HAVE A MARRIAGE, when you just wanted them to impregnate you. Cut it with the excuses.

You sound unhinged. I didn’t get a sperm donor because I didn’t need one. DH had I had deep love and respect for one another and felt we had a strong foundation through which to grow our family. Upon welcoming our first, we realized that the human we created relied on us for absolutely everything, and that his needs would have to take precedence during that period. Our needs would need to be prioritized and some things would have to take a back seat because, quite simply, adding a human takes up more time and energy than we had before. As our son grew and became more independent, our priorities changed again, and we had more time/energy for the things that took a backseat. When we had our second child, we had to sacrifice some things again because the baby and preschooler needed the bulk of our focus again. As they’ve both grown and entered new phases, so have we. Our relationship has evolved as our family has grown. Our priorities have shifted. Our love has grown deeper. I feel so grateful that I married a man who also prioritized the needs of the growing family we created together, and that we both felt confident that we would come back together after the tougher baby phases.

And to OP- my apologies for this tangent on your thread. I just couldn’t stand to see some clearly narcissistic man-child claiming you neglected your spouse for caring for your young children.

PP here. I’m a woman. Nice try, though.

Yikes. That’s disappointing. Well, many say we can be our own worst enemies.

I pity you and women like OP who treat their husbands like second class citizen-servants once you pump out a baby. Sad. Not sympathetic, actually, at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is sad. He convinced you his cheating was your fault. All abusers blame their victim. "She made me do it" is a common theme. Police and judges hear it all the time. If you've gone to a good counselor they will tell you cheating is abuse.

You need to get to the point where you acknowledge he never loved you. Someone that loves you doesn't do these things, and will likely cheat on the next woman. Be happy you will be out of a "fake" marriage, and can concentrate on your own mental heath. It will get better.

I know you have kids, but I would get him out of my life except minimal texts concerning the kids. This is a guy who thinks you'll be a doormat during the divorce, and after. Don't be that person, and see a good lawyer.

He’s not an abuser.

Neglecting your spouse could theoretically be abuse. OP is not an angel here so stop acting like it. All you can do is live and learn and do better in your next relationship. Take note, people.

Caring for babies and having them take priority in the early years isn’t neglect. Only a narcissistic man-child would think that way.

Why get married? Just get a sperm donor then. Don’t dupe someone into thinking you want to love and cherish them, and you know, HAVE A MARRIAGE, when you just wanted them to impregnate you. Cut it with the excuses.

You sound unhinged. I didn’t get a sperm donor because I didn’t need one. DH had I had deep love and respect for one another and felt we had a strong foundation through which to grow our family. Upon welcoming our first, we realized that the human we created relied on us for absolutely everything, and that his needs would have to take precedence during that period. Our needs would need to be prioritized and some things would have to take a back seat because, quite simply, adding a human takes up more time and energy than we had before. As our son grew and became more independent, our priorities changed again, and we had more time/energy for the things that took a backseat. When we had our second child, we had to sacrifice some things again because the baby and preschooler needed the bulk of our focus again. As they’ve both grown and entered new phases, so have we. Our relationship has evolved as our family has grown. Our priorities have shifted. Our love has grown deeper. I feel so grateful that I married a man who also prioritized the needs of the growing family we created together, and that we both felt confident that we would come back together after the tougher baby phases.

That's great, how it's suppose to be. My DH told me if me and the kids fell into the water he'd save the kids first. I said RIGHT answer! Someone jealous of the kids or dog is a person to stay away from.