Ensuring Freshman DD Gets A Single

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

As someone said in the thread on triples: Why don't you let her sleep in your helicopter?

PP, you sound like a peach. Do you have any children with special needs or chronic illnesses? If you don't, walk a mile in one's shoes before you judge another parent for trying to help their child manage such conditions on their own.

+1

Asthma is an invisible illness and, if not taken seriously, people can die. It’s actually considerate for the DD to avoid a roommate: the other girl might have to restrict the use of air freshener sprays, cosmetic or hygiene products, etc. Or not have visitors whose clothing brings in secondhand smoke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

As someone said in the thread on triples: Why don't you let her sleep in your helicopter?

PP, you sound like a peach. Do you have any children with special needs or chronic illnesses? If you don't, walk a mile in one's shoes before you judge another parent for trying to help their child manage such conditions on their own.

I'm not PP but I tend to agree with the sentiment. Students who are old enough to leave home for college should be able to handle these type of requests on their own, even if it's outside of their comfort zone to ask about it. I made my daughter in charge of her own advocacy last year for things like this - she had to set up doctor's appointments, figure out what forms she needed and have them filled out, researched and signed up for classes and then pushed to get into ones that were full etc.

Just because she has asthma doesn't mean she can't be the one leading the process. It doesn't mean the parent can't help them at the outset by sitting with the student and looking up who would be the right person to speak with about this but the student will benefit from speaking for herself. There is pride in figuring things out on your own and in dealing with adversity. My parents didn't even pay for my college and I had to work several jobs and take out loans to make it happen - I survived and ended up stronger for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

As someone said in the thread on triples: Why don't you let her sleep in your helicopter?

PP, you sound like a peach. Do you have any children with special needs or chronic illnesses? If you don't, walk a mile in one's shoes before you judge another parent for trying to help their child manage such conditions on their own.

Oh, FFS. I don't have a kid with special needs, but I have bad asthma myself and survived a college triple and several roommates over the years. It's time for her to grow up and learn to take charge of her own health.

[Anonymous]

Definitely depends on the school. When I attended, my school had an “allergen reduced dorm.” I had to check that on my housing form and provide doctor evidence of my allergies (asthma induced by dust, smoke, cats and lots of other things). The dorm had no carpet and everyone living there had to be non smokers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely depends on the school. When I attended, my school had an “allergen reduced dorm.” I had to check that on my housing form and provide doctor evidence of my allergies (asthma induced by dust, smoke, cats and lots of other things). The dorm had no carpet and everyone living there had to be non smokers.

Oh, and it definitely was not a guaranteed single, I had a double my first year and a single the following year as an RA in the same form.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

As someone said in the thread on triples: Why don't you let her sleep in your helicopter?

PP, you sound like a peach. Do you have any children with special needs or chronic illnesses? If you don't, walk a mile in one's shoes before you judge another parent for trying to help their child manage such conditions on their own.

Different PP - I was someone who grew up with asthma and managed my own healthcare needs. And my son has asthma and he just requested a non-smoking room and brought an air purifier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

As someone said in the thread on triples: Why don't you let her sleep in your helicopter?

PP, you sound like a peach. Do you have any children with special needs or chronic illnesses? If you don't, walk a mile in one's shoes before you judge another parent for trying to help their child manage such conditions on their own.

I'm not PP but I tend to agree with the sentiment. Students who are old enough to leave home for college should be able to handle these type of requests on their own, even if it's outside of their comfort zone to ask about it. I made my daughter in charge of her own advocacy last year for things like this - she had to set up doctor's appointments, figure out what forms she needed and have them filled out, researched and signed up for classes and then pushed to get into ones that were full etc.

Just because she has asthma doesn't mean she can't be the one leading the process. It doesn't mean the parent can't help them at the outset by sitting with the student and looking up who would be the right person to speak with about this but the student will benefit from speaking for herself. There is pride in figuring things out on your own and in dealing with adversity. My parents didn't even pay for my college and I had to work several jobs and take out loans to make it happen - I survived and ended up stronger for it.

+1000000 parent of a kid with Crohn’s disease. Very serious chronic illness. Anyway, I totally agree with this. Learning to advocate for oneself is one of the most important skills we can teach our children, ESPECIALLY if they have chronic illnesses/needs that will be present for the rest of their lives.

[Anonymous]

Read this article: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/26/well/how-to-help-a-teenager-be-college-ready.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

As someone said in the thread on triples: Why don't you let her sleep in your helicopter?

PP, you sound like a peach. Do you have any children with special needs or chronic illnesses? If you don't, walk a mile in one's shoes before you judge another parent for trying to help their child manage such conditions on their own.

+1

Asthma is an invisible illness and, if not taken seriously, people can die. It’s actually considerate for the DD to avoid a roommate: the other girl might have to restrict the use of air freshener sprays, cosmetic or hygiene products, etc. Or not have visitors whose clothing brings in secondhand smoke.

Only OP, her DD, and doctor are in a position to know whether there's a real health reason for an accommodation or not. I suppose for extremely severe asthma there could be - although you'd think in that case it would have occurred to them earlier than a few weeks before school starts.

Reads more to me like pre-college anxiety about having a roommate and looking for an excuse to get out of having one. Having a roommate is hard, and requires learning to communicate and deal with differences and each others needs, etc. - if it's not perfumes and hygiene products it will be a late schedule and an early one, or having boys over or not, or not liking someone's food smells, etc. All things that this child will need to learn to negotiate in life sooner or later to handle work and a spouse and everything else grownups deal with. Now is the time to learn those skills and how to advocate for one's health and needs.

I'd want my kid to be learning all that stuff, and I'd hope I'd really resist the urge to "get them out of it" with a single unless the health concern was dire. Which again, I can't know - but OP does and is hopefully reading.

[Anonymous]

For future reference, OP. When you ask for special consideration, it is wise to do so early. That makes it easier for your request to be accomodated.

My son's big ten school opened up housing requests around six months ago. There was an opportunity at that time to put in special requests or to have conversations with the housing office. I can't believe a state flagship was unusual.

You chose to wait to July. This makes it harder on everyone.

And by "you" I mean you, your husband, and your kid.

[Anonymous]

A friend at Princeton got a special dorm assignment because of asthma. If your daughter is not entering college this fall, I recommend looking at Haverford. I heard that it has a lot of singles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD has cough variant asthma and would do better in a single where she can control her environment and minimize allergens.

When I went to college decades ago, my doctor wrote a letter supporting my medical need for a single for a similar reason. I would like to ask my DD's doctor to do the same. But my DH insists that singles are available for an extra free.

Anyone have any current experiences with obtaining a single room for their child at college?

Check with the college. Nowadays, it seems like your DH thinking is correct and singles are available for a fee more often than when I went to school 20+ years ago. Given how late it is, just let your DD go for at least the first semester and see how things go. She might right now be thinking she won't be able to cope with a roommate but when she is actually there, she could feel different and might even feel lonely without one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD has cough variant asthma and would do better in a single where she can control her environment and minimize allergens.

When I went to college decades ago, my doctor wrote a letter supporting my medical need for a single for a similar reason. I would like to ask my DD's doctor to do the same. But my DH insists that singles are available for an extra free.

Anyone have any current experiences with obtaining a single room for their child at college?

You are both correct. There are singles and they first go to those that medically need them. They also cost more. You will not be able to get a single for the double/triple price, no matter what the reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely depends on the school. When I attended, my school had an “allergen reduced dorm.” I had to check that on my housing form and provide doctor evidence of my allergies (asthma induced by dust, smoke, cats and lots of other things). The dorm had no carpet and everyone living there had to be non smokers.

Which sounds great if your allergies happen to be ones that those protect against. Other people are allergic to other things. Asthma is not a one size fits all situation.

OP, my rising college freshman has cough variant asthma. He is lucky in that between allergy shots, sinus surgery, finding the right combo of meds, and the end of puberty (which worsens or improves asthma for many people, he got lucky), he could probably handle a nonsmoking roommate if the room had air conditioning, and the roommate didn't open the window. Of course, since his asthma attacks sounds like a seal barking all night long, his roommate would have an incentive to agree about the windows. But if his asthma was more severe, it wouldn't be fair to a roommate or to him to ask for a trial. I see the impact of not sleeping on him, and I can't imagine a roommate would handle it better.

He happened to pick a school that is in a warm climate so all the dorms are airconditioned, and that had plenty of singles so he got one easily, so we didn't even have to ask for a housing accommodation, although we've done it in the past for summer programs on college campuses.

[Anonymous]

so dad says there are singles available to those who pay. mom says you need a note.

* this is a question that has an answer. call the darn school.

makes me wonder: mom, are you trying to get the single room at the double price?

* good luck with that.