Ensuring Freshman DD Gets A Single

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:STAAAAHP.

If your daughter thinks she needs a single, SHE can ask her doctor for a note and submit it to the housing office.

In loco parentis. Yes, self-advocacy at this age, but the parents are still important stakeholders.

[Anonymous]

Dorm assignments came out weeks ago at most schools. It’s a little late to be thinking about this...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone said in the thread on triples: Why don't you let her sleep in your helicopter?

Roger that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:STAAAAHP.

If your daughter thinks she needs a single, SHE can ask her doctor for a note and submit it to the housing office.

In loco parentis. Yes, self-advocacy at this age, but the parents are still important stakeholders.

+1 to second post above. The OP does have a damn stake here and never indicated that her DD was leaving these questions entirely to mommy. OP asked what others who might have been on similar situations might know. So OP gets blasted as a helicopter parent.

Many people on DCUM think that turning 18 and/or getting into college magically makes a person instantly aware of every question to ask to handle every situation solo, no matter what. How wonderful that their kids as incoming college freshmen were so perfectly capable, or so happily well-adjusted that they learned their lesson safely and well if they didn't navigate things correctly! It's all a learning experience, right? Even the trip to the hospital.

OP, this is very school-specific, so your DD has to contact the school ASAP and may have to talk to several offices before she gets the full answer (the last word may be with housing or with health services or with student services). And a doctor's "note" likely won't cut it; the school may have specific forms she has to file with more than one office, and the doctor may have to provide evidence beyond just a note. She needs to get the lust of what's required very quickly if she's starting in August--it may be past any deadline for submitting requests for single rooms even for medical accommodations.

She may not be able to get a single, but maybe at least she can get a double in a building with AC if AC helps. Many colleges still have at least some forms without AC so that's something to keep in mind.

[Anonymous]

That should be "dorms" not forms and "list" not lust....

[Anonymous]

Hi OP. You need to quickly address the situation. My DD who had never been diagnosed with allergies was in a dorm with carpet this past year. Her brother has asthma so we have no carpets in our house. Long story short she had a stuffy nose all year and when she did get sick, the coughing seemed worse. We got her tested for allergies and had to submit a note for sophomore year that she could not be in a dorm with carpet. Wood floors going forward for her! It would have been very hard for her to change dorms during the year due to space on campus.

[Anonymous]

The OP never mentioned when her student needed a single. Maybe it's 3 years from now. As others have mentioned, you must check with each school.

[Anonymous]

I had a roommate with pretty significant asthma freshman year. She brought a window. AC unit (not AC in the dorm) and some type of air purifier. Asked me not to sprat hairspray, perfume, etc. in the room. Which was NBD. We never really got along, and we were glad to go our separate ways. But, it was fine.

Of course, Op’s Kid could be much more severe or have triggers that are hard to avoid. But it seems like if that were the case, they would have dealt with this immediately.

FWIW, I have a rising junior. ADHD, and brilliant-Asperger’s ish. Does not qualify for an HFA diagnosis, but has some of the social characteristics. The beginning of his senior year, I am going to suggest he talk to his therapist about whether asking for a single is a good idea or not. Not whether he wants one (he would). But whether they think The cost benefit analysis of the added distraction vs pushing him to socialize will be. Ultimately, my kid and his doctor and therapist will make the call and my kid will make the request.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely depends on the school. When I attended, my school had an “allergen reduced dorm.” I had to check that on my housing form and provide doctor evidence of my allergies (asthma induced by dust, smoke, cats and lots of other things). The dorm had no carpet and everyone living there had to be non smokers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely depends on the school. When I attended, my school had an “allergen reduced dorm.” I had to check that on my housing form and provide doctor evidence of my allergies (asthma induced by dust, smoke, cats and lots of other things). The dorm had no carpet and everyone living there had to be non smokers.

An eye roll emoji. What a fine contribution to the discussion.

Obviously Eye Roll Poster has no allergies and no loved ones with allergies. Or just thinks allergies and asthma are made up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely depends on the school. When I attended, my school had an “allergen reduced dorm.” I had to check that on my housing form and provide doctor evidence of my allergies (asthma induced by dust, smoke, cats and lots of other things). The dorm had no carpet and everyone living there had to be non smokers.

What a great idea! It would be a great hardship to me and a room mate if she had a down quilt... we would both be up all night with my coughing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

As someone said in the thread on triples: Why don't you let her sleep in your helicopter?

PP, you sound like a peach. Do you have any children with special needs or chronic illnesses? If you don't, walk a mile in one's shoes before you judge another parent for trying to help their child manage such conditions on their own.

+1

Asthma is an invisible illness and, if not taken seriously, people can die. It’s actually considerate for the DD to avoid a roommate: the other girl might have to restrict the use of air freshener sprays, cosmetic or hygiene products, etc. Or not have visitors whose clothing brings in secondhand smoke.

As someone with allergies and asthma, I agree this is as much about being fair to the other students. It's kind of a pain to accommodate someone else's allergies by not wearing perfume or not having a carpet etc, and it's best for all of those people get singles.

Get a doctors note. But I agree you are a bit late in the game. I chose a college that had tons of singles and then requested one with an explanation.

[Anonymous]

Has your daughter never stayed in a hotel room, vacation property or sleepaway camp? Never slept over at a friend's house who had carpet, a down pillow or used perfume? I'm sure you already know whether your adult child truly can't survive in a roommate situation. There are plenty of helicopter parents, sorry, stakeholders, trying to game the system to get special accommodations for their snowflakes who just don't want to have to share a room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:STAAAAHP.

If your daughter thinks she needs a single, SHE can ask her doctor for a note and submit it to the housing office.

In loco parentis. Yes, self-advocacy at this age, but the parents are still important stakeholders.

That does not mean what you think it means. I love it when people bust out the Latin in an effort to look smart and it backfires.

[Anonymous]

Is it covered under the ADA? If not, she's probably SOL.

Niece has frequent and debilitating migraines and had her doctor write a letter for a single. The university told her they took all requests into consideration, but ADA requests took precedence and migraines weren't covered by the ADA.

Niece was able to move into a solo double before spring semester started once some students left. However, yes, BIL & SIL did have to pay more to cover her moving into a double room alone.