high conflict ex wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if you want to co-parent then things like when to potty train are open for discussion. Otherwise, it's not co-parenting, it's parallel parenting, and potty training isn't the best if it's done that way. You need to tell her to communicate through email only. It sounds like you're a pain in the ass if you are taking any bait and engaging in front of your child. Grow up.

are you saying that I'm a pain in the ass? She's 3, she shouldn't be in diapers. Pullups ok but diapers? No. I legally get facetime with my kids, she takes over FaceTime and that's how I'm tricked into answering her calls.

You’re calling your ex “high conflict” but you’re engaging in a power struggle over pull-ups and diapers. Got it.
And when she takes over your FaceTime with kids and starts arguing with you, you somehow forget how to politely say, “I’m sorry. I’m going to end this call right now because you’re arguing with me,” and then hit the hang-up button.

When you admit you enjoy the drama on some level, you might get somewhere with dealing with her. But you’ve got to first see your role in this. You were attracted to her for some reason, so much so that you’ve had unprotected sex with her in the last couple of years. Stop your engagement around her antics.

It was through text that I responded about the pull-ups. I simply stated that I had begun potty training DD, and that I believed that 3 was too old for diapers. That's all I said on the matter. When she tricks me into answering and is threatening command, of course I'm going to respond.

Stop being a victim. You’re not getting “tricked.” You’re an adult who is allowing himself to be baited. Simply end the conversation. If she threatens to go to your commander, respond with “I’m hanging up now,” if it’s a phone call. If she texts that, no response whatsoever. Do as PP suggested and give your CO a heads up. But please stop with the “But I have to respond.” No, you don’t. You really need to practice with a friend around how to disengage. It’s not easy, but it can be done. The more you respond to her, the more it continues. It’s really that simple.

[Anonymous]

I was advised to respond by my lawyer. He told me to respond calmly and reasonably and to document everything. I'm just trying to figure out what after documenting everything.

[Anonymous]

Why did you divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if you want to co-parent then things like when to potty train are open for discussion. Otherwise, it's not co-parenting, it's parallel parenting, and potty training isn't the best if it's done that way. You need to tell her to communicate through email only. It sounds like you're a pain in the ass if you are taking any bait and engaging in front of your child. Grow up.

are you saying that I'm a pain in the ass? She's 3, she shouldn't be in diapers. Pullups ok but diapers? No. I legally get facetime with my kids, she takes over FaceTime and that's how I'm tricked into answering her calls.

You’re calling your ex “high conflict” but you’re engaging in a power struggle over pull-ups and diapers. Got it.
And when she takes over your FaceTime with kids and starts arguing with you, you somehow forget how to politely say, “I’m sorry. I’m going to end this call right now because you’re arguing with me,” and then hit the hang-up button.

When you admit you enjoy the drama on some level, you might get somewhere with dealing with her. But you’ve got to first see your role in this. You were attracted to her for some reason, so much so that you’ve had unprotected sex with her in the last couple of years. Stop your engagement around her antics.

It was through text that I responded about the pull-ups. I simply stated that I had begun potty training DD, and that I believed that 3 was too old for diapers. That's all I said on the matter. When she tricks me into answering and is threatening command, of course I'm going to respond.

Stop being a victim. You’re not getting “tricked.” You’re an adult who is allowing himself to be baited. Simply end the conversation. If she threatens to go to your commander, respond with “I’m hanging up now,” if it’s a phone call. If she texts that, no response whatsoever. Do as PP suggested and give your CO a heads up. But please stop with the “But I have to respond.” No, you don’t. You really need to practice with a friend around how to disengage. It’s not easy, but it can be done. The more you respond to her, the more it continues. It’s really that simple.

My lawyer has advised me to respond. I am building a case. I'm just unsure of what exactly can be done with that case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you divorce?

She cheated on me. Twice.

[Anonymous]

Nothing. Tell her to call command. Do not pay extra and buy supplies. List should be on the school website. Kids under ten do not get- need ids. You can take them to the doctor if needed. So, schedule them and take them. If she wants an I’d then sign the form and let her get them. She yells at you hang up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. Tell her to call command. Do not pay extra and buy supplies. List should be on the school website. Kids under ten do not get- need ids. You can take them to the doctor if needed. So, schedule them and take them. If she wants an I’d then sign the form and let her get them. She yells at you hang up.

Yes legally as she has legal over medical, I do have to get the IDs to her. She cannot get on base as she lost her ID after the divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if you want to co-parent then things like when to potty train are open for discussion. Otherwise, it's not co-parenting, it's parallel parenting, and potty training isn't the best if it's done that way. You need to tell her to communicate through email only. It sounds like you're a pain in the ass if you are taking any bait and engaging in front of your child. Grow up.

are you saying that I'm a pain in the ass? She's 3, she shouldn't be in diapers. Pullups ok but diapers? No. I legally get facetime with my kids, she takes over FaceTime and that's how I'm tricked into answering her calls.

You’re calling your ex “high conflict” but you’re engaging in a power struggle over pull-ups and diapers. Got it.
And when she takes over your FaceTime with kids and starts arguing with you, you somehow forget how to politely say, “I’m sorry. I’m going to end this call right now because you’re arguing with me,” and then hit the hang-up button.

When you admit you enjoy the drama on some level, you might get somewhere with dealing with her. But you’ve got to first see your role in this. You were attracted to her for some reason, so much so that you’ve had unprotected sex with her in the last couple of years. Stop your engagement around her antics.

It was through text that I responded about the pull-ups. I simply stated that I had begun potty training DD, and that I believed that 3 was too old for diapers. That's all I said on the matter. When she tricks me into answering and is threatening command, of course I'm going to respond.

Stop being a victim. You’re not getting “tricked.” You’re an adult who is allowing himself to be baited. Simply end the conversation. If she threatens to go to your commander, respond with “I’m hanging up now,” if it’s a phone call. If she texts that, no response whatsoever. Do as PP suggested and give your CO a heads up. But please stop with the “But I have to respond.” No, you don’t. You really need to practice with a friend around how to disengage. It’s not easy, but it can be done. The more you respond to her, the more it continues. It’s really that simple.

My lawyer has advised me to respond. I am building a case. I'm just unsure of what exactly can be done with that case.

Tell her to call command. Remind her, she only gets child support if you have a job so if she gets you kicked out, no job. No child support till you get a new job which may pay less. Why do you care if she calls command. My husbands ex used to do that crap and command would tell her to leave him alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if you want to co-parent then things like when to potty train are open for discussion. Otherwise, it's not co-parenting, it's parallel parenting, and potty training isn't the best if it's done that way. You need to tell her to communicate through email only. It sounds like you're a pain in the ass if you are taking any bait and engaging in front of your child. Grow up.

are you saying that I'm a pain in the ass? She's 3, she shouldn't be in diapers. Pullups ok but diapers? No. I legally get facetime with my kids, she takes over FaceTime and that's how I'm tricked into answering her calls.

You’re calling your ex “high conflict” but you’re engaging in a power struggle over pull-ups and diapers. Got it.
And when she takes over your FaceTime with kids and starts arguing with you, you somehow forget how to politely say, “I’m sorry. I’m going to end this call right now because you’re arguing with me,” and then hit the hang-up button.

When you admit you enjoy the drama on some level, you might get somewhere with dealing with her. But you’ve got to first see your role in this. You were attracted to her for some reason, so much so that you’ve had unprotected sex with her in the last couple of years. Stop your engagement around her antics.

It was through text that I responded about the pull-ups. I simply stated that I had begun potty training DD, and that I believed that 3 was too old for diapers. That's all I said on the matter. When she tricks me into answering and is threatening command, of course I'm going to respond.

Stop being a victim. You’re not getting “tricked.” You’re an adult who is allowing himself to be baited. Simply end the conversation. If she threatens to go to your commander, respond with “I’m hanging up now,” if it’s a phone call. If she texts that, no response whatsoever. Do as PP suggested and give your CO a heads up. But please stop with the “But I have to respond.” No, you don’t. You really need to practice with a friend around how to disengage. It’s not easy, but it can be done. The more you respond to her, the more it continues. It’s really that simple.

My lawyer has advised me to respond. I am building a case. I'm just unsure of what exactly can be done with that case.

Okay, then respond with the least amount of text.

Ex: When am I getting the money for the school supplies?
You: See text dated 7/2/18
Ex: I deleted the text. When am I getting the money?!?
You: (no response at all because you’ve given her two responses)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you divorce?

She cheated on me. Twice.

Why didn’t you dump her after the first time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you divorce?

She cheated on me. Twice.

Why didn’t you dump her after the first time?

I didn't find out until after the 2nd time.

[Anonymous]

Go on the school website get the list and buy everything it and 3-5 outfits, coat and shoes, take pictures, and mail it with confirmation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you divorce?

She cheated on me. Twice.

Why didn’t you dump her after the first time?

I didn't find out until after the 2nd time.

How did you find out?

[Anonymous]

Sorry this is happening OP. Hang in there

[Anonymous]

Wow OP, I’m sorry. She seems unhinged. You, however, do not. Some of the responses are very abrupt and seem like their from women who are like your ex. They probably thought you were the one that cheated. Listen to your lawyer and no one else. Be the calm in the storm for your kids. If your 3 year old is accepting pull ups and attempting to potty train, go with it. Might be less stressful if you do it. Take your kids shopping for school supplies, they love doing it and picking their favorite things. Have ex give them a list and you send back a receipt for her half of reimbursement. She won’t call command. Sounds like she’s a lot of bark and she knows she’ll sound like an unhinged ex. Good luck (I’m a woman for all those who will say I’m a man responding)