How often do you have sex?
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Anonymous
Well, that's not why either of us divorced. We both had good sex lives with our first spouses - I meant years between the marriages. We both just have very high sex drives and are perfectly matched. |
Anonymous
Kudos to you. I can't even find time to exercise everyday. How long does it take for you and your spouse to complete the act, do you both get to the O or just the man, and when do you find the time (early morning or late night)? |
Anonymous
|
I'm jealous of some of you.
38 y/o male, married 15 years, 2 kids ages 6 and 4. Both my DW and I are fit and attractive. I probably try to initiate 4x per week, but we wind up having sex 3 times per two weeks. Sometimes it is twice in a short time span (ie. Thurs and Sat night), but then we'll go 10 days or even 2 weeks without. It has been a big issue at times in our marriage, and when the kids were smaller we went as long as 2-3 months without at times (and I'm not talking postpartum). I was very resentful after being turned down sometimes every night for literally weeks on end. Generally when we have sex it is very high quality, and she is adventurous. However, with the drop in libido since kids, and the changes in her body from childbirth (she has had some pelvic wall issues), she's had some physical and psychological sexual dysfunction, which has been part of the issue. Lack of desire, lack of enjoyment during the act, mood swings, inability to orgasm, etc. Sex in our 20's was great, frequent, and she would orgasm as easily as a guy. Part of the issue for us is that we both work long hours in high powered jobs (consulting and finance) with lots of stress and business travel, and she gets up early and is generally worn out at night. The kids also get sick at school and bring it home, getting one of us sick, and my wife won't have sex while either of us are sick. It used to be when we would go out to parties / concerts / with friends we would always have sex at the end of the night. Now a late night with alcohol means she is too exhausted when she gets back. |
Anonymous
| 10 - 15 times per year. Early 40s, together about 20 years, two kids in their early teens. |
Anonymous
Everyday? Really? |
Anonymous
| With DH about once every 3 months. Otherwise about 2-3 times a week with AP. |
Anonymous
|
4 times per week average.
40, three kids, married 15 years. |
Anonymous
| Mid 30’s. 3 kids under 5. 3-4 times per week. |
Anonymous
Had this thought. I'm a mid-30s male. And while there are multiple moments every day that I could go for an orgasm, is it daily that I have these moments when my wife is around, not to mention interested? No freaking way. |
Anonymous
Wow, you get it a lot. Me, once every 5 weeks or so. Sucks. Married about 15 years. |
Anonymous
| wow, I feel even worse. married 7 years, one kid, early 40s, its been three months and before that maybe once every two weeks. DW here by the way... |
Anonymous
Same, but our kids are upper elementary. I seem more unhappy about this than DH, but I think it is also my fault that we are in this situation because for many years I was uncomfortable/repressed sexually and didn't really enjoy it that much. I finally decided I really needed to get over my hangups and started to figure out what would make me excited about sex and read some things about what my rebuffing was probably doing to him. I have tried to reverse the damage by apologizing, reassuring that I am up for it, will enthusiastically say YES when he initiates, but I think the damage has been done. So now I have to be the one to initiate whenever I want sex. He always responds positively, but the fact that he never (and I'm not exaggerating here...it's NEVER!) initiates makes me feel very undesired. I guess it's payback in a way. But it's miserable to think that this is how it's going to go until the end of time. I love my husband, but I wish I had known the damage I was doing to his confidence and feelings of desirability early on in our marriage. If I had realized the full extent of it, instead of being caught up in my own insecurities and stunted by my own sexual repression, I think it could have saved our sex life. Now, who knows... |
Anonymous
Hopefully she is considering these options too. |
Anonymous
Most of the time we both orgasm together, the rest of the time I finish her off orally or manually. We range from long and passionate to 5-minute quickies. It's always late at night or early in the morning or when the kids are gone. Sometimes even in the middle of the night. We have an agreement that the bed is always a clothes-free zone, which definitely influences the frequency. |
Anonymous
| About every two weeks, sometimes once per week. I'm 38 years old with a 5 month baby old baby and a three year old. We've been together for several years though. |