How often do you have sex?

[Anonymous]

Married with 2 small children. Wife has no sex drive. Romantic overtures and attempts to rekindle are rejected. Never initiates. Never touches me. Always pushes away and makes excuses if I go in direct. Maybe once every 6-8 weeks after giving her a two hour long massage while watching TV. Usually a sympathy sex and is totally not into it.

Haven't received even an impromptu bj in over 10 years. Asking for a bj once every 6 months will prompt an eyeroll.

I consider leaving all the time, but it breaks my heart the thought of putting my children in a broken home. We are good parents, she is just not attracted to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2x week with DW. 2-4x month with AP.

Perfect ratio

Maybe flip those? Although, I'm in the same boat. 2x/week with DH, 2-4x/month with AP.

Aspie DH: I think the last time was 4 years ago.
Amazing AP: 1-2x/week, world class sex every time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married with 2 small children. Wife has no sex drive. Romantic overtures and attempts to rekindle are rejected. Never initiates. Never touches me. Always pushes away and makes excuses if I go in direct. Maybe once every 6-8 weeks after giving her a two hour long massage while watching TV. Usually a sympathy sex and is totally not into it.

Haven't received even an impromptu bj in over 10 years. Asking for a bj once every 6 months will prompt an eyeroll.

I consider leaving all the time, but it breaks my heart the thought of putting my children in a broken home. We are good parents, she is just not attracted to me.

Why leave? Do what all dads in your possition have done for centuries: have an affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:56M, married to woman in menopause. None this year. It is horrible. I have considered an AP, considered divorce.

The woman in menopause would probably have sex with a 26M.

No most women’s sex drive is gone after menopause. It would not even cross their mind to have sex with a 26m. So thing to look forward to...

Sure. Women don't want have sex with their husbands when they're post-partum, when they're breastfeeding babies, when they're menopausal. Okay. You're wife isn't attracted to you anymore, if she ever was. That doesn't mean she doesn't want to have sex.

[Anonymous]

My gyn says use it or lose it when it comes to sex during menopause for women. I'm not there yet, but I told my DH he needs we need more sex so that doesn't happen.

1-2x per week for us. And we are in our early 50s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married with 2 small children. Wife has no sex drive. Romantic overtures and attempts to rekindle are rejected. Never initiates. Never touches me. Always pushes away and makes excuses if I go in direct. Maybe once every 6-8 weeks after giving her a two hour long massage while watching TV. Usually a sympathy sex and is totally not into it.

Haven't received even an impromptu bj in over 10 years. Asking for a bj once every 6 months will prompt an eyeroll.

I consider leaving all the time, but it breaks my heart the thought of putting my children in a broken home. We are good parents, she is just not attracted to me.

No sex drive for you. If you split up, she will find it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married with 2 small children. Wife has no sex drive. Romantic overtures and attempts to rekindle are rejected. Never initiates. Never touches me. Always pushes away and makes excuses if I go in direct. Maybe once every 6-8 weeks after giving her a two hour long massage while watching TV. Usually a sympathy sex and is totally not into it.

Haven't received even an impromptu bj in over 10 years. Asking for a bj once every 6 months will prompt an eyeroll.

I consider leaving all the time, but it breaks my heart the thought of putting my children in a broken home. We are good parents, she is just not attracted to me.

Do not leave your family, you owe it to your kids to be there if you can. Have an affair, it's justified. Seriously, you will feel better about yourself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2x week with DW. 2-4x month with AP.

Perfect ratio

Maybe flip those? Although, I'm in the same boat. 2x/week with DH, 2-4x/month with AP.

Aspie DH: I think the last time was 4 years ago.
Amazing AP: 1-2x/week, world class sex every time.

Genuine question, why do you have an AP if you're having regular sex with your spouse?

[Anonymous]

It has tapered down over 30 years. For the first 5 years, 4 to 7 times a week. For the next 10, two to three times weekly. For the next 10, weekly or so. Post meonpause it is a few times a year. Health issues on both sides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2x week with DW. 2-4x month with AP.

Perfect ratio

Maybe flip those? Although, I'm in the same boat. 2x/week with DH, 2-4x/month with AP.

Aspie DH: I think the last time was 4 years ago.
Amazing AP: 1-2x/week, world class sex every time.

Genuine question, why do you have an AP if you're having regular sex with your spouse?

Please work on your reading comprehension. She said she hasn't had sex with her husband in FOUR YEARS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2x week with DW. 2-4x month with AP.

Perfect ratio

Maybe flip those? Although, I'm in the same boat. 2x/week with DH, 2-4x/month with AP.

Aspie DH: I think the last time was 4 years ago.
Amazing AP: 1-2x/week, world class sex every time.

Genuine question, why do you have an AP if you're having regular sex with your spouse?

Please work on your reading comprehension. She said she hasn't had sex with her husband in FOUR YEARS.

DP: I think the question was actually meant for the two people she quoted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married with 2 small children. Wife has no sex drive. Romantic overtures and attempts to rekindle are rejected. Never initiates. Never touches me. Always pushes away and makes excuses if I go in direct. Maybe once every 6-8 weeks after giving her a two hour long massage while watching TV. Usually a sympathy sex and is totally not into it.

Haven't received even an impromptu bj in over 10 years. Asking for a bj once every 6 months will prompt an eyeroll.

I consider leaving all the time, but it breaks my heart the thought of putting my children in a broken home. We are good parents, she is just not attracted to me.

No sex drive for you. If you split up, she will find it again.

That was helpful.

[Anonymous]

Before we became empty nesters we were down to 1-2 times a month and I was worried that it was going to become even more infrequent given we were in our 50's and I certainly wasn't a hottie anymore. Right after we became empty nesters my DH started to make subtle suggestions that we needed to re-start our sex life and I surprised him by being very enthusiastic before I knew exactly what he meant. We didn't get crazy but we definitely did things and in places we hadn't done it before and it became fun and exciting again and we quickly got back to 2-3 times a week. Ten years later we are at about twice a week which is a lot better than the old 1-2 times a month. Reinventing our sex life has been great for our marriage and brought us much closer together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married with 2 small children. Wife has no sex drive. Romantic overtures and attempts to rekindle are rejected. Never initiates. Never touches me. Always pushes away and makes excuses if I go in direct. Maybe once every 6-8 weeks after giving her a two hour long massage while watching TV. Usually a sympathy sex and is totally not into it.

Haven't received even an impromptu bj in over 10 years. Asking for a bj once every 6 months will prompt an eyeroll.

I consider leaving all the time, but it breaks my heart the thought of putting my children in a broken home. We are good parents, she is just not attracted to me.

No sex drive for you. If you split up, she will find it again.

That was helpful.

Different poster. While you are being sarcastic, and you may not like to hear this, but in fact what the PP says is 100% true and is therefore helpful. Men should not take this personally. If your wife is not interested (in you) just go find it elsewhere! Your neighbor's wife is not interested in her DH either, and you can be the new/exciting guy who helps "find" her sex drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Before we became empty nesters we were down to 1-2 times a month and I was worried that it was going to become even more infrequent given we were in our 50's and I certainly wasn't a hottie anymore. Right after we became empty nesters my DH started to make subtle suggestions that we needed to re-start our sex life and I surprised him by being very enthusiastic before I knew exactly what he meant. We didn't get crazy but we definitely did things and in places we hadn't done it before and it became fun and exciting again and we quickly got back to 2-3 times a week. Ten years later we are at about twice a week which is a lot better than the old 1-2 times a month. Reinventing our sex life has been great for our marriage and brought us much closer together.

We had fallen into the same rut and then one day my golf loving DH said something about his bucket list including playing many of the top 100 golf courses and then he joked about there must be a list of top 100 sex positions. I laughed and said that could be fun which really got his attention and it turns out there are lists. TBH, many looked physically impossible or simply "not me" but many of them have been great. It definitely increased our frequency and my DH loves it when I do the suggesting because I really get into it.