Is it wrong for my husband to go after business from someone he's attracted to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Totally different scenarios.

Op described a situation where her husband and the woman were thinking:

Woman: so happy to see this guy!
Husband: oh shit she’s here. What do I say?
Woman: is that his wife?
Husband: am I going to have to introduce them? Maybe I pretend that I don’t know her?
Both: damn I hope I can stay cool and not give anything away.

And the OP as well as everyone else here are psychic mind readers from Saturn?
Pure overdramatic speculation and egregious suspicion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Totally different scenarios.

Op described a situation where her husband and the woman were thinking:

Woman: so happy to see this guy!
Husband: oh shit she’s here. What do I say?
Woman: is that his wife?
Husband: am I going to have to introduce them? Maybe I pretend that I don’t know her?
Both: damn I hope I can stay cool and not give anything away.

These scenarios are different because OP’s DH would be continually seeking out business with someone he is obviously attracted to, not someone who he just comes into contact with as a result of his job, like the realtor/doctor/car salesman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally different scenarios.

Op described a situation where her husband and the woman were thinking:

Woman: so happy to see this guy!
Husband: oh shit she’s here. What do I say?
Woman: is that his wife?
Husband: am I going to have to introduce them? Maybe I pretend that I don’t know her?
Both: damn I hope I can stay cool and not give anything away.

These scenarios are different because OP’s DH would be continually seeking out business with someone he is obviously attracted to, not someone who he just comes into contact with as a result of his job, like the realtor/doctor/car salesman.

Hey, far be it from me to disagree with the any of the distinguished members of the Saturn Mind Reading Society.
Whatever you say her husband and the lady were thinking and were secretly up to via your uncanny clairvoyance is irrefutable.

OP its time to find a divorce lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband owns a company and is always networking. Long story short...last week, we ran into a woman he hadn't seen in awhile at an event. Her face lit up when she saw my husband and he was visibly uncomfortable and eventually introduced me to her (even though he could not remember her name). I felt so uncomfortable standing there watching the two of them fumble around that I confronted him about the awkwardness later and he admitted that he was attracted to her and that he had invited her to some other networking events and to his office to possibly do some work together. The work never panned out. My question is, is it wrong for my husband to choose to reach out to someone for business when he is attracted to them?

So why would she be fumbling?

[Anonymous]

Why in the world would he tell you he finds her attractive?

[Anonymous]

Trust your gut. Your husband networks all the time, yet this stuck out to you for a reason. He admitted he’s attracted to her. He’s creating reasons to see her again and again because he’s interested in her. Yes, you should be concerned and come up with a plan of action to deal with this before it gets worse (if it hasn’t already).

Separately, is your marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's a big deal. You can't really expect a business owner to turn down work because the client is attractive.

+1. There are some crazy responses on here.

[Anonymous]

The responses aren't crazy. They come from people that are aware of human relationships.

I had a superior hit on me at a work function. We are both senior staff. He waited until he caught be alone in a room of people and then he approached me. My other staff members noticed that I had become "undone" and asked if I was OK. They picked up on the fumbling, the nervousness from me.I tried to "play" it off but they noticed my non-verbal cues. He is no longer with the company.

Trust your gut. People that network and are in senior positions are normally very smooth and their feathers do not get easily rustled.

[Anonymous]

The issue isn't that he stated the attraction. Attractions happen. The issue is that the behavior with both of them is so off. Even if it's just crazy sparks on each side, they both have felt some need to cover up nothing and that's odd and is why some people are getting a red flag that there's more to the story.

[Anonymous]

It is unwise. He should not do it.

[Anonymous]

Okay, he invited her to several events but couldn't remember her name? That makes no sense! He's attracted to her but couldn't remember her name? That makes no sense. Sorry, he had to know her name. That doesn't mean he has had an affair but sounds like he also isn't being honest. I would do a bit of investigating.

[Anonymous]

So why didn't the work pan out? It seems like there's something he's leaving out. There was follow up at networking events. She even met with him to do work. But the work didn't happen.

I would ask him why the work didn't happen. I would also ask directly if he ever had any physical contact with her. It's possible they kissed, realized that it wasn't a good idea to work together because it would lead to something else, and then parted ways.

With that much follow up, though, I highly doubt he couldn't remember her name. And my experience has been with people in general (not necessarily just men) that where there's a small lie, there's a bigger lie. The small lie is the the little loose thread of the bigger lie. You pull it, and the whole thing unravels.

But here's the thing: don't go down this road unless you truly want to know the truth and are prepared to deal with it.

My guess is that he didn't sleep with her, but there was physical contact of some sort, making it clear that if they continued to meet up, something would end up happening. So one or both of them put a stop to it. My guess is that your husband is the one who put a stop to it, given the woman lit up when she saw him and he (my guess) lied about not knowing her name.

Before asking him, think through how you'd feel about that -- how you would feel if he told you that he didn't sleep with her, but something else happened or nearly happened.

[Anonymous]

Your husband...ummm, soon to be ex-husband is a dirt ball. Get out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband...ummm, soon to be ex-husband is a dirt ball. Get out.

Yeah OP get a divorce these accredited experts know what they’re talking about. I know they’re anonymous and don’t know jack about your husband or your marriage or even you for that matter but that’s not important. What’s important is that you do as you’re told and follow the instructions of these total strangers because while they may not know you or give two shits about what happens to you once they’ve added their two cents on the matter, the key thing to remember is they’re the experts.

Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
I know he definitely did not remember her name and no, he only met her recently so there wasn't any previous history. He met her at a happy hour and then at that happy hour, he invited her to a different networking event. They stayed in touch, met at more networking events, and then they arranged to possibly do some work together and she came to the office to discuss the project which never panned out. Couple other facts. I knew about none of this (not like he really had any reason to tell me, I guess) and she's married too.

You sound niave