How would you prefer to find out that your 15 year old is smoking pot?

[Anonymous]

Keep your mouth shout. I have a feeling you are enjoying this’ll.

[Anonymous]

This not this’ll

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I would prefer an email so I can work through my response on my own without feeling like I need to have the correct reaction to another parent. An email that just said "I thought you should know that Johnny and Suzy have been smoking pot behind the bleachers after school. I will be talking to Johnny about it, I just wanted you to be informed so you can do whatever you think is appropriate" would be ok, I think.

Problem is that my kid wasn’t doing it. The other kid took it upon herself to tell a group of kids who don’t use drugs at all. They gave her a look then decided that she was going too far. They all told their parents.

How do you know this other kid wasn't just bragging to her friends to show off how "cool" she is? If all these kids didn't actually see her smoking pot, it could be BS. As a very insecure 15 year old girl, I told my friends I'd gone much further with boys sexually than I actually had in order to appear cool. I can only imagine what my parents would've thought if they'd heard I was saying these things. In reality I'd never even seen a naked male in real life, much less touched one, and was a virgin till halfway through college.

[Anonymous]

Unless you know for sure (saw with your own eyes), then there isn’t anything to tell.

[Anonymous]

I would not say anything at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you know for sure (saw with your own eyes), then there isn’t anything to tell.

Yes, OP, I'm not sure how you gained this information? Are you saying that Kid A told your kid that Kid A is smoking pot? You're asking how to tell Kid A's parents that Kid A told your kid, who told you, that Kid A is smoking pot?

[Anonymous]

Don’t get caught up in the high school rumor mill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you know for sure (saw with your own eyes), then there isn’t anything to tell.

Yes, OP, I'm not sure how you gained this information? Are you saying that Kid A told your kid that Kid A is smoking pot? You're asking how to tell Kid A's parents that Kid A told your kid, who told you, that Kid A is smoking pot?

+1. You don’t need to breathlessly call another parent to report hearsay. I thought this thread was about you having actually witnessed something. But it’s your kid telling you about something that they also did not actually witness? No, you don’t need to contact anyone.

[Anonymous]

All of your kids are going to be smoking pot soon enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you catch them or is this information you were told in confidence?

Confidence. I’ve known the family for 12 years

You can't tell.

BTW, I had to tell my friend (our kids stated school together in K) a "rumor" about her son because the activity was risky and while I heard it from my son I also heard it from other sources. So, I had my son tell the boy, "my mom heard from other moms that you are doing X, Y, Z and my mom might tell your mom, you need to tell her first."

Recently I did tell a group of moms many of our kids are smoking pot and vaping. All of them are drinking and a few are having sex.

1/3 fell of their chair
1/3 agreed
1/3 didn't really know but were not surprised.

Is she mom who will fall off her chair?

[Anonymous]

Its hearsay unless you see it yourself. Now if your kid saw it with his./her own eyes and your kid is 100% trustworthy and has no reason to get the other kid in trouble, I might be inclined to believe it. I still wouldn't say anything to the other parent.

I don't want my teenage kids smoking pot and there would be serious consequences if they did and I found out. That said, its not that dangerous. Its kills brain cells yes, and isn't good for developing teenage brains but, its not the worst thing in the world.

[Anonymous]

I was walking up to the front door of a party and I saw my DD's 13 year old friend giving a blow job in the bushes. The kids saw me and quickly got dressed and ran the other direction. I told her parents and they freaked out on me and don't speak to me now. I did not tell one person except my husband other than them. My kids are far from saints and I was not being judgemental. I thought they would want to know. I guess I don't really really regret because I found out what assholes they were but anyway, just mentioning for what it is worth.

[Anonymous]

I would assume an anon note is a kid trying to get my kid in trouble for some reason and dismiss it.

[Anonymous]

I would be appreciative. I think that would be earlier than I would expect, so I would be glad to know it's a thing we would need to focus on. I thought that note up above was really good - not judgmental, allowed for the parent to handle it in their own way. And even if it wasn't a true statement about my kid, better that I have that conversation anyway.

[Anonymous]

Phone call, text or email. Or better, force my kid to tell me with you. I've always told him he will be in more trouble for lying/hiding than anything he has done.