Lessons Learned: What signs did you look for the second time around?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone who wants sex more than a few times a ywar
Someone who could handle dishes put back not their way
Someone who doesn't hate my family and think they are out to get them
Someone who has friends
Someone I'm not afraid of saying the wrong thing to and constantly feeling like I am on eggshells
Someone who doesn't yell at me in front of our kids or public

Sadly I'm still married to this person. But the second time around will be much different.

Please get marital counseling asap

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thigh gap - first wife put on a lot of weight with kids
Earner - I didn't want the single provider stress
10 years younger so our libidos? matched a little better

you suck and are incredibly superficial.
you should have worked at it.
I hope you eventually seek forgiveness for being a complete jerk

[Anonymous]

I will be looking for kindness and optimism about life.

[Anonymous]

Accountable
Prioritizes health
Secure with his career
Emotionally Mature
Affectionate
Strong sexual compatibility
Stable family background
Similar sense of humor & intellect

[Anonymous]

Does not have any hang ups about sex (no madonna/whore stuff going on) and is not deeply entrenched in traditional gender roles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The main criteria were attraction and trustworthiness (my previous wife cheated).

Honestly, I’m a pretty simple person and it takes very little for me to be happy.

My wife turned out to be:

- Very positive with an innate ability to reframe any negative situation and make the best of it.
- Crazy hot with a lifelong view of fitness.
- Extremely driven and high earning. We’re both from lower class backgrounds and put ourselves through undergrad/grad school. Honestly, I believe that she can outwork any 3 normal people.
- Very modest about achievements.
- Great and consistent in the bedroom.
- Fun sense of humor.

Does she have a sister?

[Anonymous]

Lesson Learned from first marriage: DON'T DO THAT AGAIN

Really... why? If you have kids from the first one, no point in a second one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thigh gap - first wife put on a lot of weight with kids
Earner - I didn't want the single provider stress
10 years younger so our libidos? matched a little better

you suck and are incredibly superficial.
you should have worked at it.
I hope you eventually seek forgiveness for being a complete jerk

How is this different from the women who said they wanted their second husband to be physically fit, have a good job, and want sex? Are those women superficial jerks too?

Frankly, "fit, employed, and interested in sex" are not unreasonable requirements in a spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lesson Learned from first marriage: DON'T DO THAT AGAIN

Really... why? If you have kids from the first one, no point in a second one.

Well, children are monsters, but you can remarry without having more of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone who wants sex more than a few times a ywar
Someone who could handle dishes put back not their way
Someone who doesn't hate my family and think they are out to get them
Someone who has friends
Someone I'm not afraid of saying the wrong thing to and constantly feeling like I am on eggshells
Someone who doesn't yell at me in front of our kids or public

Sadly I'm still married to this person. But the second time around will be much different.

It's a perfectly reasonable list.
I love that you said will be!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thigh gap - first wife put on a lot of weight with kids
Earner - I didn't want the single provider stress
10 years younger so our libidos? matched a little better

you suck and are incredibly superficial.
you should have worked at it.
I hope you eventually seek forgiveness for being a complete jerk

How is this different from the women who said they wanted their second husband to be physically fit, have a good job, and want sex? Are those women superficial jerks too?

Frankly, "fit, employed, and interested in sex" are not unreasonable requirements in a spouse.

I'm not the PP you're responding to, but "thigh gap" and "prioritizes health" are not equivalent. Especially considering he goes on to say she gained weight from having his kids. If you don't see what's superficial about that, I can't help you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thigh gap - first wife put on a lot of weight with kids
Earner - I didn't want the single provider stress
10 years younger so our libidos? matched a little better

you suck and are incredibly superficial.
you should have worked at it.
I hope you eventually seek forgiveness for being a complete jerk

How is this different from the women who said they wanted their second husband to be physically fit, have a good job, and want sex? Are those women superficial jerks too?

Frankly, "fit, employed, and interested in sex" are not unreasonable requirements in a spouse.

I'm not the PP you're responding to, but "thigh gap" and "prioritizes health" are not equivalent. Especially considering he goes on to say she gained weight from having his kids. If you don't see what's superficial about that, I can't help you.

Another NP. We’re not talking about his current online dating habits. We’re talking about how he thinks his wife getting “fat” was sufficient reason to break up his marriage, even though he had kids with this poor woman. Also, he makes it sound like “fat” means a size 12 because she doesn’t have a thigh gap.

Yes, he is a horrible human being. I bet he’s one of the jerks here bragging about smashing with 20-somethings (as if anybody here believes that, but I digress).

[Anonymous]

We’re talking about how he thinks his wife getting “fat” was sufficient reason to break up his marriage

That’s not what he wrote.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thigh gap - first wife put on a lot of weight with kids
Earner - I didn't want the single provider stress
10 years younger so our libidos? matched a little better

you suck and are incredibly superficial.
you should have worked at it.
I hope you eventually seek forgiveness for being a complete jerk

How is this different from the women who said they wanted their second husband to be physically fit, have a good job, and want sex? Are those women superficial jerks too?

Frankly, "fit, employed, and interested in sex" are not unreasonable requirements in a spouse.

I'm not the PP you're responding to, but "thigh gap" and "prioritizes health" are not equivalent. Especially considering he goes on to say she gained weight from having his kids. If you don't see what's superficial about that, I can't help you.

Another NP. We’re not talking about his current online dating habits. We’re talking about how he thinks his wife getting “fat” was sufficient reason to break up his marriage, even though he had kids with this poor woman. Also, he makes it sound like “fat” means a size 12 because she doesn’t have a thigh gap.

Yes, he is a horrible human being. I bet he’s one of the jerks here bragging about smashing with 20-somethings (as if anybody here believes that, but I digress).

If she prioritized health, she would be fit and would not have a thigh gap.

The source of the weight gain is irrelevant. When women gain weight from having kids, they are just as obligated to take it off as a guy who gained weight from drinking beer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thigh gap - first wife put on a lot of weight with kids
Earner - I didn't want the single provider stress
10 years younger so our libidos? matched a little better

you suck and are incredibly superficial.
you should have worked at it.
I hope you eventually seek forgiveness for being a complete jerk

How is this different from the women who said they wanted their second husband to be physically fit, have a good job, and want sex? Are those women superficial jerks too?

Frankly, "fit, employed, and interested in sex" are not unreasonable requirements in a spouse.

I'm not the PP you're responding to, but "thigh gap" and "prioritizes health" are not equivalent. Especially considering he goes on to say she gained weight from having his kids. If you don't see what's superficial about that, I can't help you.

Another NP. We’re not talking about his current online dating habits. We’re talking about how he thinks his wife getting “fat” was sufficient reason to break up his marriage, even though he had kids with this poor woman. Also, he makes it sound like “fat” means a size 12 because she doesn’t have a thigh gap.

Yes, he is a horrible human being. I bet he’s one of the jerks here bragging about smashing with 20-somethings (as if anybody here believes that, but I digress).

If she prioritized health, she would be fit and would not have a thigh gap.

The source of the weight gain is irrelevant. When women gain weight from having kids, they are just as obligated to take it off as a guy who gained weight from drinking beer.

The point is, it’s not worth breaking up a marriage with kids.