Will my SA mother in law be offended?

[Anonymous]

^dhaf=dgaf

[Anonymous]

OP, take it down. If your MIL doesn't even speak English (I'm assuming Indian and not Pakistani or Bangladeshi?) then she's likely not from a large city or upper caste, since she would have learned English along with Hindi or Gujarati or fill-in-the-blank. Point being that she's less likely to be cosmopolitan or liberal or however you want to phrase it, and more likely to be very traditional. She may already be having a hard time with a non-SA DIL. Just do your best, and let your DH run interference.

PP is right, you'll offend her somehow anyway, but best to minimize it by not hanging the sari she gave you as decor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Husband is Indian. I am using a pink saree my MIL gave me as wall art. It's looks very similar to the picture in the link I have attached. MIL is visiting soon. My husband has no idea if it will offend her.

https://www.brownstoner.com/real-estate-market/the-insider-uber-stylish-townhouse-in-prospect-heights/?accordion=the-insider

Um, why is the twelve year old child dressed like that?

Dressed like what? What did I miss?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t seem like you care if it offends for MIL or not. Indian posters are telling you to take it down and you are still ambivalent. If you dhaf then why are you asking?

BTW I think it’s pretty crappy that you think it’s ok if her feelings are hurt as long as you don’t have to acknowledge it, since she doesn’t speak English and your DH doesn’t have the balls to stand up to you.

Do you always wake up like this? Where in the post did OP respond that she doesn't care? Sounds like you are really into drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, take it down. If your MIL doesn't even speak English (I'm assuming Indian and not Pakistani or Bangladeshi?) then she's likely not from a large city or upper caste, since she would have learned English along with Hindi or Gujarati or fill-in-the-blank. Point being that she's less likely to be cosmopolitan or liberal or however you want to phrase it, and more likely to be very traditional. She may already be having a hard time with a non-SA DIL. Just do your best, and let your DH run interference.

PP is right, you'll offend her somehow anyway, but best to minimize it by not hanging the sari she gave you as decor.

Op here. Point taken but will hanging any sari on the wall offend her? Is that something only certain castes do? Is it never done in SA? I've asked my husband but he " doesn't know ".

[Anonymous]

Op is your husband always this clueless? Why did you marry him?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do it. First of all, I don't think those hanging saris look all that good. Second, when she visits, she would probably really enjoy getting to help you put on the sari.

If you want Indian art on the walls, there are lots of other options!

[Anonymous]

I think it's fine but replace it with a different fabric/sari. It's basically fabric hanging on the wall. It doesn't look like a dress. How can someone get offended by that?

[Anonymous]

In Japan, kimonos are often hung on walls as decorations.

I don't see this would be offensive, on the contrary. It shows you like it enough to show it off as a piece of art!

[Anonymous]

PP again.

I am multi-cultural (two asian culture and three european culture). I have often noticed that posters here tend to overplay class or cultural differences, just to show how sensitive they are. In reality, to people of those cultures, it's not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, take it down. If your MIL doesn't even speak English (I'm assuming Indian and not Pakistani or Bangladeshi?) then she's likely not from a large city or upper caste, since she would have learned English along with Hindi or Gujarati or fill-in-the-blank. Point being that she's less likely to be cosmopolitan or liberal or however you want to phrase it, and more likely to be very traditional. She may already be having a hard time with a non-SA DIL. Just do your best, and let your DH run interference.

PP is right, you'll offend her somehow anyway, but best to minimize it by not hanging the sari she gave you as decor.

Op here. Point taken but will hanging any sari on the wall offend her? Is that something only certain castes do? Is it never done in SA? I've asked my husband but he " doesn't know ".

No one hangs sarees on the wall. The point is that she gave you a gift of clothing and you are using that clothing as an "exotic" wall display. Just take it down.

[Anonymous]

I am south asian- dad is north Indian and Mom is pakistani and my dadi (paternal grandmother) only wore saaris, my maternal grandmother only wore thang/churridar pyjamas and I have several as heirlooms. I'm having one of my grandmother's kameezes framed and displayed b/c its cloth of gold and very fragile. I had told her of my intention and she thought it was slightly weird to decorate with clothing but totally not offended. I'm totally going to do this with my grandmothers' saari- its a lovely idea. I think that is actually a wonderful way to add an indian touch to your decor and use the beautiful gift your MIL gave you. She might laugh about it with her friends but its increasingly common to see indian textiles used this way on the subcontinent itself. I have a gorgeous bedcover stitched from antique sari's so its being done. if she is going to be offended than she is just the type who will be offended by everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t seem like you care if it offends for MIL or not. Indian posters are telling you to take it down and you are still ambivalent. If you dhaf then why are you asking?

BTW I think it’s pretty crappy that you think it’s ok if her feelings are hurt as long as you don’t have to acknowledge it, since she doesn’t speak English and your DH doesn’t have the balls to stand up to you.

Do you always wake up like this? Where in the post did OP respond that she doesn't care? Sounds like you are really into drama.

DP. OP's follow-up posts above confirm she is going to do whatever she wants and doesn't really care if she offends. I'm one of the prior PPs that admitted that MIL will probably find something to be offended by no matter what OP does, but this seems kind of like a blatant insult (FWIW, I'm indian and not a fob, but I imagine MIL is very traditional).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am south asian- dad is north Indian and Mom is pakistani and my dadi (paternal grandmother) only wore saaris, my maternal grandmother only wore thang/churridar pyjamas and I have several as heirlooms. I'm having one of my grandmother's kameezes framed and displayed b/c its cloth of gold and very fragile. I had told her of my intention and she thought it was slightly weird to decorate with clothing but totally not offended. I'm totally going to do this with my grandmothers' saari- its a lovely idea. I think that is actually a wonderful way to add an indian touch to your decor and use the beautiful gift your MIL gave you. She might laugh about it with her friends but its increasingly common to see indian textiles used this way on the subcontinent itself. I have a gorgeous bedcover stitched from antique sari's so its being done. if she is going to be offended than she is just the type who will be offended by everything.

Op here. Thanks for sharing this. I understand it may be seen as weird and I am fine with that. I am also ok with replacing it with another sari or fabric. That's totally fine. The sari is absolutely beautiful and I wanted to find a way to use it everyday. It's hanging in my hall way. We have very high ceilings and it looks gorgeous.

[Anonymous]

It isn't true that no one hangs sari's on the wall- trendy bistro's in lahore done in a 'ethnic' style totally go for that but they usually hang up lehngas or ghararas. The 'ethnic' decor thing is soo hot in India/Pakistan right now since the cultures are rapidly being replaced by global or western style dress and lifestyle. Upper class south asians would do this- in fact I just screenshot it and sent it to my cousins who live there as a decor idea!