How harmful has the MGTOW coaching been to young people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Get therapy for your issues, be a positive person, work hard, have passions, live a full and interesting life. The relationship thing will then sort itself out.

Not sure about the therapy, necessarily, but otherwise +1.

Life is long. Sex is fun and fairly important. And, all things being equal, it's more fun with a more attractive person than with an unattractive person. But, it's not the whole story. In the first place, you have to learn to be content with yourself. Having a shiny partner will mask your discontent for awhile, but whatever demons you have within aren't going away. If you get that worked out, you have to realize that you & whoever your partner is -- best case scenario -- will spend a substantial chunk of your lives as relatively old and relatively unattractive. As active as your sex life may be, a whole lot of your lives will be spent not having sex. So, you better have personalities that mesh well and go beyond the superficial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only men who would be attracted to MGTOW would be men who really, really struggle in attracting women or only attracting women who want to use them.

This is quite simply untrue. It’s simply men of all ages who have tired of women’s BS and double standards and focus on their individual happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only men who would be attracted to MGTOW would be men who really, really struggle in attracting women or only attracting women who want to use them.

This is quite simply untrue. It’s simply men of all ages who have tired of women’s BS and double standards and focus on their individual happiness.

Except, rather than focusing on their individual happiness, they spend a lot of time bitching about women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only men who would be attracted to MGTOW would be men who really, really struggle in attracting women or only attracting women who want to use them.

This is quite simply untrue. It’s simply men of all ages who have tired of women’s BS and double standards and focus on their individual happiness.

Not all women have BS and double standards. Just like not all men are lazy, ADHD, hypocritical jerks (despite what you read on DCUM). The common factor is that for whatever reason, someone keeps picking the wrong people for the wrong reasons. I certainly did in my 20s- I passed on many wonderful men who would have been great husbands and fathers because of my own deep-seated issues such as codependency. I have male friends who do the same, often choosing women based on looks, unavailability, emotional problems, etc. And also, emotionally healthy people will pass on you if they sense you have issues (as many men have done to me).

It’s fine to focus on your own happiness but how you frame it is important. If it’s because you think you’re the victim and the other sex is the problem, that’s not healthy. Recognizing and taking ownership of your own flaws is a better way to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only men who would be attracted to MGTOW would be men who really, really struggle in attracting women or only attracting women who want to use them.

This is quite simply untrue. It’s simply men of all ages who have tired of women’s BS and double standards and focus on their individual happiness.

Except, rather than focusing on their individual happiness, they spend a lot of time bitching about women.

Would you prefer they play bunco and bitch about men?

[Anonymous]

I think most guys are smarter than this. The ones who follow this thinking are the ones no one would've wanted anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MGTOW = Maximum Gross Take Off Weight, an aviation acronym

Maybe this new version is about how fat 40-something dudes can get and still hope to date?

That's how I always read it also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only men who would be attracted to MGTOW would be men who really, really struggle in attracting women or only attracting women who want to use them.

This is quite simply untrue. It’s simply men of all ages who have tired of women’s BS and double standards and focus on their individual happiness.

Except, rather than focusing on their individual happiness, they spend a lot of time bitching about women.

Would you prefer they play bunco and bitch about men?

Once they've gone their own way, presumably I won't have any idea how they spend their time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: The common factor is that for whatever reason, someone keeps picking the wrong people for the wrong reasons. I certainly did in my 20s- I passed on many wonderful men who would have been great husbands and fathers because of my own deep-seated issues such as codependency. I have male friends who do the same, often choosing women based on looks, unavailability, emotional problems, etc. And also, emotionally healthy people will pass on you if they sense you have issues (as many men have done to me).

From a guy's perspective, when women spend their 20s passing up good guys in favor of assholes, it looks like they prefer assholes when they're pretty, interested in sex, and have their pick of the litter. Even if they start avoiding the assholes in their 30s, it looks like that's because they're only settling because they are running out of options and are looking for a more asexual kind of stability in their relationships rather than the kind of assholes that really get their motor running.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most guys are smarter than this. The ones who follow this thinking are the ones no one would've wanted anyway.

You keep thinking that. They consider themselves “free” from the manipulation and deceptions that are inherent in relations with women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most guys are smarter than this. The ones who follow this thinking are the ones no one would've wanted anyway.

You keep thinking that. They consider themselves “free” from the manipulation and deceptions that are inherent in relations with women.

If a man believes manipulation and deception are inherent in relations with women, women are not chomping at the bit to deal with him. He goes his own way and everybody wins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: younger women shouldn't believe that their Sexual Market Value peaks at the age of 22.

Except, it does.

Is there a corresponding study reflecting the most attractive age of men in women's eyes?

Pretty sure it would hover around 25. Because, duh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most guys are smarter than this. The ones who follow this thinking are the ones no one would've wanted anyway.

You keep thinking that. They consider themselves “free” from the manipulation and deceptions that are inherent in relations with women.

If a man believes manipulation and deception are inherent in relations with women, women are not chomping at the bit to deal with him. He goes his own way and everybody wins.

Please. If a man believes manipulation and deception are inherent in relations with women, he's been married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Is there a corresponding study reflecting the most attractive age of men in women's eyes?

Pretty sure it would hover around 25. Because, duh.

First, a disclaimer: I think folks are really overthinking this stuff. Regardless of what "men" and "women" do as a statistical mass, find someone you like and who likes you. Despite the statistical tendencies, men and women are so varied and there are 7 billion people on the planet - the statistics probably aren't going to help you that much in your personal search for happiness.

That out of the way, I think the response to your thought that women find men more physically attractive at age 25 is going to be that men are much more focused on physical attractiveness when assessing a person's overall desirability. A lot more variables go into a woman's assessment of a man's worth. So, while men may physically peak at age 25 in the eyes of most women, the decline from that peak matters less to his overall "score." Also, I guess, the decline is maybe not as rapid.

I'm kind of guessing on the arguments here though. I'm 45 and think there are a lot of sexy women in their 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: younger women shouldn't believe that their Sexual Market Value peaks at the age of 22.

Except, it does.

Is there a corresponding study reflecting the most attractive age of men in women's eyes?

Pretty sure it would hover around 25. Because, duh.

YUP. 45 year old woman here. Young 20 something men are HOT to me.