S/O AP is pregnant (or AP got me pregnant)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex had a baby with his 26 year old married assistant. Lived a Jerry Springer show for 3 years. It was an absolute nightmare. I survived though and am doing great.

Are you the Christmas inflatable poster?

Yep. That’s me. Doing so much better. All inflatables in my area survived the Christmas season this year.

Good! Glad things are better for you! How are your kids? Do they have a relationship with their father?

Thank you. Kids are doing good. Yes. They have a good relationship with their dad. He lives close and we coparent through texts and emails. I refuse to speak to him but never say a word to the kids. They have made it clear they want nothing to do with the child. Sad but it is their choice as it should be. They may change their minds when they are older. They do love their dad. It’s been a tough road for them but they go to counseling and that has helped.

Good for you!

Is he still with her? Did the husband leave her? How are the kids with the new sibling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 on this sadly being common.

My grandfather had a child out of wedlock and I was probably 14 when that became common family knowledge. Our last name is her middle name, which is apparently what old school families do when that happens. All I know about her is that she grew up with me knowing what happened and who she was. And who I was. The deal was her mom got a check every month as a deal to keep it away from us. At 14, I found out I had an aunt born within months of me who grew up knowing so much of this nonsense. And I felt horrible. How do you do that to a child? There was one woman my family ran into who had our last name as a middle name, but she disappeared before the adult women in my family could decide if it was appropriate to ask her if ahe was one of us.

Maybe when my grandfather dies, I may be asked to help with the estate and find her information and tell her if she ever wants to have a relationship with me, get in touch.

My take away from this is that honesty is the best option now. So what if you got your AP pregnant. No one can hide these things anymore and the damage done to everyone is stupid.

Should have reread before sending. She grew up with me not knowing who she was, but knowing for a long time who I was and to stay away from me, because she was illegitamite and I was not.

You sound like a huge B over this and it’s not her fault at all. And you don’t know how to spell, so you’re not as high and mighty as you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 on this sadly being common.

My grandfather had a child out of wedlock and I was probably 14 when that became common family knowledge. Our last name is her middle name, which is apparently what old school families do when that happens. All I know about her is that she grew up with me knowing what happened and who she was. And who I was. The deal was her mom got a check every month as a deal to keep it away from us. At 14, I found out I had an aunt born within months of me who grew up knowing so much of this nonsense. And I felt horrible. How do you do that to a child? There was one woman my family ran into who had our last name as a middle name, but she disappeared before the adult women in my family could decide if it was appropriate to ask her if ahe was one of us.

Maybe when my grandfather dies, I may be asked to help with the estate and find her information and tell her if she ever wants to have a relationship with me, get in touch.

My take away from this is that honesty is the best option now. So what if you got your AP pregnant. No one can hide these things anymore and the damage done to everyone is stupid.

Should have reread before sending. She grew up with me not knowing who she was, but knowing for a long time who I was and to stay away from me, because she was illegitamite and I was not.

You sound like a huge B over this and it’s not her fault at all. And you don’t know how to spell, so you’re not as high and mighty as you think.

Mommy/Ap spotted!
Should have chosen a better father for your child at a minimum not a married man. Also work on your comprehension.

[Anonymous]

My granddad's illegitimate son showed up to his funeral. No one had a clue he even existed, except my grandma apparently. Talk about shocking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was reading the thread about surprises on the Md Judiciary Case Search and saw this topic raised with a man having children outside of his marriage.

Was curious how common of an occurrence this may be- especially seeing all the affair threads lately.

If you have a story- what was the circumstances and outcome?

(And no DCUM roasters and trolls, I'm not in this position and looking for advice.)

My DH had a child with his long-term AP. She is two years younger than our firstborn. I didn't find out until the girl was four (AP told me). It was a complete surprise/shock. What followed was a very bad year but we are getting over it. My DH sees his daughter regularly but unfortunately, her mother does not allow her to come to our house, which causes much tension. DH made many bad choices, unfortunately. It has hurt everyone involved. It's a very selfish thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 on this sadly being common.

My grandfather had a child out of wedlock and I was probably 14 when that became common family knowledge. Our last name is her middle name, which is apparently what old school families do when that happens. All I know about her is that she grew up with me knowing what happened and who she was. And who I was. The deal was her mom got a check every month as a deal to keep it away from us. At 14, I found out I had an aunt born within months of me who grew up knowing so much of this nonsense. And I felt horrible. How do you do that to a child? There was one woman my family ran into who had our last name as a middle name, but she disappeared before the adult women in my family could decide if it was appropriate to ask her if ahe was one of us.

Maybe when my grandfather dies, I may be asked to help with the estate and find her information and tell her if she ever wants to have a relationship with me, get in touch.

My take away from this is that honesty is the best option now. So what if you got your AP pregnant. No one can hide these things anymore and the damage done to everyone is stupid.

Should have reread before sending. She grew up with me not knowing who she was, but knowing for a long time who I was and to stay away from me, because she was illegitamite and I was not.

You sound like a huge B over this and it’s not her fault at all. And you don’t know how to spell, so you’re not as high and mighty as you think.

Mommy/Ap spotted!
Should have chosen a better father for your child at a minimum not a married man. Also work on your comprehension.

New poster here. Not in this situation at all. You do sound mean-spirited underneath it all. Her birth circumstances make her every inch as “good” as you or any other human.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 on this sadly being common.

My grandfather had a child out of wedlock and I was probably 14 when that became common family knowledge. Our last name is her middle name, which is apparently what old school families do when that happens. All I know about her is that she grew up with me knowing what happened and who she was. And who I was. The deal was her mom got a check every month as a deal to keep it away from us. At 14, I found out I had an aunt born within months of me who grew up knowing so much of this nonsense. And I felt horrible. How do you do that to a child? There was one woman my family ran into who had our last name as a middle name, but she disappeared before the adult women in my family could decide if it was appropriate to ask her if ahe was one of us.

Maybe when my grandfather dies, I may be asked to help with the estate and find her information and tell her if she ever wants to have a relationship with me, get in touch.

My take away from this is that honesty is the best option now. So what if you got your AP pregnant. No one can hide these things anymore and the damage done to everyone is stupid.

Should have reread before sending. She grew up with me not knowing who she was, but knowing for a long time who I was and to stay away from me, because she was illegitamite and I was not.

You sound like a huge B over this and it’s not her fault at all. And you don’t know how to spell, so you’re not as high and mighty as you think.

She doesn't sound like a B. She is explaining to you how they grew up under the rules set up by adults in their lives, which she had nothing to do with. Of course it's not the other girl's fault but it's not hers either. Until you've been in this situation, you don't know how much agony this selfishness causes to everyone involved, especially the kids. No one wins in this.

I agree, as does this poster, that honesty is the best policy. Adultery is bad enough but compounded with lies, it amplifies the pain.

[Anonymous]

NP. I recently found out I was a victim of such a lie. The entire family I thought was from my birth father - all a lie. It hurts and my world has shattered. So has the world of those who now now. Thanks anon(s) for the added perspective of people like me.. I would be horrified if I were approached by some “family” wanting to know the truth and forcing me to help reconcile issues I was oblivious to. A lot of mixed feelings here. Maybe I’ll start a separate thread one day. Right now I’m too hurt and angry.

[Anonymous]

I had a coworker who found out about her husband's infidelity through the insurance.

Her husband got his side chick pregnant and added the baby to his company sponsored insurance after it was born.

The coworker was responsible for all bills, which the husband knew, but I guess he just didn't think about her opening bills/letters for this other baby!? At first she thought they were for her husband, but then realized it was John Smith Jr., so then she called to let them know a mistake had been made. She thought someone with a similar name had been mistakenly added to their policy. I'd have loved to have been the insurance rep when they both realized mid-call that John Smith Jr. was a newborn and the product of an affair.

She stayed with him, though, for years because she blamed herself. He'd always wanted a son, they had two daughter and she was unable to have more kids. I left that company, but I later heard from another friend there that she was finally divorcing him 2 or 3 years later.

My roommate in college had a baby brother who was really the product of her step-dad's affair. The kid's bio mom was a drug addict who used while pregnant and lost her parental rights. My roommates mom raised the kid as her own. We're both in our late 30s now and the kid just started college this past fall at our Alma mater. He still doesn't know that his mom isn't his mom or that he was born addicted to drugs.

[Anonymous]

My daughter was the result of an affair between a man in his 50s and a woman in her late 30s. Both have kids with her birth dad having kids in their 30s/40s by now. Both birth parents came in to the adoption agency to relinquish their rights.

I am very sorry for the circumstances that surrounded her conception/birth and for the pain that must've been felt by both families. I dearly love my daughter and do not regret that that she came into existence, though I fully understand if her birth family feels the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a coworker who found out about her husband's infidelity through the insurance.

Her husband got his side chick pregnant and added the baby to his company sponsored insurance after it was born.

The coworker was responsible for all bills, which the husband knew, but I guess he just didn't think about her opening bills/letters for this other baby!? At first she thought they were for her husband, but then realized it was John Smith Jr., so then she called to let them know a mistake had been made. She thought someone with a similar name had been mistakenly added to their policy. I'd have loved to have been the insurance rep when they both realized mid-call that John Smith Jr. was a newborn and the product of an affair.

She stayed with him, though, for years because she blamed herself. He'd always wanted a son, they had two daughter and she was unable to have more kids. I left that company, but I later heard from another friend there that she was finally divorcing him 2 or 3 years later.

My roommate in college had a baby brother who was really the product of her step-dad's affair. The kid's bio mom was a drug addict who used while pregnant and lost her parental rights. My roommates mom raised the kid as her own. We're both in our late 30s now and the kid just started college this past fall at our Alma mater. He still doesn't know that his mom isn't his mom or that he was born addicted to drugs.

Gotta love it when the mistress has even more audacity to name the child junior, lol!!

[Anonymous]

My friends neighbor did the 23 and me test with her family. Turned out she didn’t match her Dad’s DNA profile..mother had to dress up she had an affair and that the man who raised her wasn’t her dad. Of course he didn’t find out until then either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friends neighbor did the 23 and me test with her family. Turned out she didn’t match her Dad’s DNA profile..mother had to dress up she had an affair and that the man who raised her wasn’t her dad. Of course he didn’t find out until then either

I bet this starts happening a lot more now that these tests are getting more popular.

[Anonymous]

My dad had a son with his AP when I was 2. My parents stayed married until I was 20. My mom found out about it pretty early on. She told me when I was 18. My dad knows I know, but we've never talked about it. I exchanged a few emails with my half-brother but then got lazy about keeping in touch. He's basically a stranger. It's interesting how much we have in common though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends neighbor did the 23 and me test with her family. Turned out she didn’t match her Dad’s DNA profile..mother had to dress up she had an affair and that the man who raised her wasn’t her dad. Of course he didn’t find out until then either

I bet this starts happening a lot more now that these tests are getting more popular.

My sister did it but I pray to god my brother doesn't. I think he's the product of my mom having an affair. I think my dad suspects it too but no one would ever say anything and my dad is the only dad he's known.