How to spice up sex life in newer marriage...
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Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| It sounds like he's not attracted to you. Could be physical or could be you annoy him. |
Anonymous
My thoughts too but op says he gets into it. Does he really? Does he do all the things you like? |
Anonymous
Technically speaking yes |
Anonymous
| OP - do you dress sexy on a daily basis? If so, what do you consider sexy? |
Anonymous
If you find it take note and try and mimic what you see. He'll probably be delighted. My DH was looking at stuff during our dry spell late in my third trimester. I took a mental note and now we video chat during his business trips and I use it as inspiration haha. |
Anonymous
| Sleep naked. |
Anonymous
| Stress can be a real drive killer, even for people with a high drive. So can lack of sleep. Testosterone drops off late at night. Easiest suggestions - morning sex, read in bed together instead of watching TV, go to bed earlier. More difficult suggestions - make it exciting by talking about fantasies, past exploits, dirty thoughts. The closeness and comfort of marriage can be a drive killer for men (and women sometimes) even while it is necessary to relationship success. |
Anonymous
| cooks, cleans, does the laundry... aren't these the same excuses women say for not wanting sex |
Anonymous
|
Set outward boundaries (baby steps) and expectations.
Don't say I want you to do this. Give him an end game, not orgasm. This way he knows how you want to be pleased and he has room to participate with his own ideas and thoughts. Mentally think about it as hallway you are going to walk together. You have established that you want sex, that is floor. Limits, types of sex etc are the walls. What you want is the door at the end of the halway encourage him to lead the way. There is no roof because there should never be a cap on great sex. |
Anonymous
Yes, but in the linked video Tracey Cox speaks about a phenomenon that is exclusive to women: the biological loss of sex drive after giving birth to kids. Furthermore, there is a difference between "liking newness" versus losing sexual interest in a long-term partner. Both men and women like newness, I would imagine equally so. But there is substantial evidence that many women LOSE sexual interest in long-term partner (to the point of avoiding sex with him), whereas most men continue to want sex with a long-term partner. Bottom line: the reasons for loss of interest are quite different for a man versus a woman. |
Anonymous
The enormous difference in testosterone levels between men and women help explain why men can retain sexual interest in a long term partner despite facing hurdles (e.g. loss of newness, stress, etc.) where women can lose theirs entirely in the face of the same challenges. I know it's depressing to chalk these things up to chemicals rather than behavior. |
Anonymous
| HOw far into the 40 lb weight gain are you? |
Anonymous
| How was it when you were dating? Or did you think he'd change as soon as you got married? |
Anonymous
| In today’s climate, it’s risky for even a married man to initiate. |