Boys shamed for not harassing girls

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I graduated HS in 1994 and must also have grown up in a bubble. I first had sex summer after my senior year and was never shamed for it, nor did i feel pressure to harrass girls at school. I had (and still have) a group of great friends that stretch back to middle school. No idea what you all are talking about.

13:36 here, to clarify that I never felt shamed into doing anything. It was simply that many, in my opinion, bad actors were getting all the girls. There was no penalty and often a benefit to being aggressive and disrespectful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I graduated HS in 1994 and must also have grown up in a bubble. I first had sex summer after my senior year and was never shamed for it, nor did i feel pressure to harrass girls at school. I had (and still have) a group of great friends that stretch back to middle school. No idea what you all are talking about.

13:36 here, to clarify that I never felt shamed into doing anything. It was simply that many, in my opinion, bad actors were getting all the girls. There was no penalty and often a benefit to being aggressive and disrespectful

Those bad actors weren't talking shit to the other dudes or taunting them for not notching up the women?

[Anonymous]

In Hs 98-02, butt smacking was very common.

I was told this doesn’t happen in Hs anymore - random ass slapping

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I graduated HS in 1994 and must also have grown up in a bubble. I first had sex summer after my senior year and was never shamed for it, nor did i feel pressure to harrass girls at school. I had (and still have) a group of great friends that stretch back to middle school. No idea what you all are talking about.

13:36 here, to clarify that I never felt shamed into doing anything. It was simply that many, in my opinion, bad actors were getting all the girls. There was no penalty and often a benefit to being aggressive and disrespectful

Those bad actors weren't talking shit to the other dudes or taunting them for not notching up the women?

Not specifically, about harassing girls. Just in general about not being cool, not having certain clothes, not being able to do certain things. Not getting girls was sort of a result of many if the former.

The point to me is that this behavior was reciprocal between males and females. And it’s not that one was being harassed to act a certain way. It was moreso that one could observe how certain behaviors achieved certain results. Therefore, it’s easy to see how you could say well I’m going to start acting that way also because it works.

[Anonymous]

DH was the good and decent guy in school and college. Which meant that a lot of girls looking for bad boys, friend-zoned him. Why would women take that kind of nonsense from men was beyond me.

[Anonymous]

Yeah. I feel like some women are being a bit disingenuous about some of this stuff, especially women who are old enough to be aware of cultural shifts over time. Men were not raised in a vacuum. Men and women are constantly influencing each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH was the good and decent guy in school and college. Which meant that a lot of girls looking for bad boys, friend-zoned him. Why would women take that kind of nonsense from men was beyond me.

Because the bad boys also exerted dominance over the good and decent guys which gave the bad boy higher status than the good guy. Girls pine after the popular boy just as much as the boys pine after the popular girl. Status is sexy. And people, particularly teen people, are idiots.

[Anonymous]

I think people overstate the "bad boy" appeal. The only time bad boys are appealing are when they are super good looking. (Ask Danny Trejo how many sexy roles he gets...). And let's be real -- if those guys were super good looking and NICE, they'd be even more popular with women. I think it's just that, if you're super good looking, you can sort of afford to be a jerk. So it's not the jerkiness that is attractive in itself, it's the super hotness. Correlation, not causation. (I feel like that's the answer 70% of the time to every question.) IMHO, it's the not very good looking guys who are always bemoaning "nice guys finish last"....I always sort of want to tell them "Being nice isn't your problem....you're just not that hot." But that would be mean, so I don't say it. Trust me, nice guys -- you'd do worse as a jerk.

Following up on the OP post, one of my least favorite expressions is "whipped." Thankfully I don't seem to hear that anymore (or the stupid whip snap sound). That was the bullying term used for guys that were actually respectful to girls and maybe did what the girls wanted them to do -- they were "whipped." Blech and blech. I hope that one is consigned to the dust bin of history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I graduated HS in 1994 and must also have grown up in a bubble. I first had sex summer after my senior year and was never shamed for it, nor did i feel pressure to harrass girls at school. I had (and still have) a group of great friends that stretch back to middle school. No idea what you all are talking about.

13:36 here, to clarify that I never felt shamed into doing anything. It was simply that many, in my opinion, bad actors were getting all the girls. There was no penalty and often a benefit to being aggressive and disrespectful

This is still the case. Nice guys get friend zoned. Women are not sexually attracted to men who are not agressive. This is why most of the men you see on here are not having sex ( though Id argue ANY man on this website is probably a man who has lost his balls or never had any in the first place). They think because they wash the dishes and fold the laundry they will get screwed. Sorry, its the opposite. When is comes down to it if women wanted emasculated men, they might as well be lesbians.

[Anonymous]

As to looks, hot guys are going to get girls. Ugly guys won't. But, in my school, when it came to mediocre looking guys, the aggressive assholes had more luck than the non-aggressive respectful guys. This very well could have varied from place to place. (I actually wonder if it could be a class thing. It's been a long time, but I think it was probably the girls from blue collar families who were more likely to be going out with these guys.)

But, regardless of whether the guys were actually successful with girls, the boys who were aggressive toward the girls were also aggressive toward the other guys. Not getting laid, being too girly, not being able to get a girlfriend were all subjects of taunts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people overstate the "bad boy" appeal. The only time bad boys are appealing are when they are super good looking. (Ask Danny Trejo how many sexy roles he gets...). And let's be real -- if those guys were super good looking and NICE, they'd be even more popular with women. I think it's just that, if you're super good looking, you can sort of afford to be a jerk. So it's not the jerkiness that is attractive in itself, it's the super hotness. Correlation, not causation. (I feel like that's the answer 70% of the time to every question.) IMHO, it's the not very good looking guys who are always bemoaning "nice guys finish last"....I always sort of want to tell them "Being nice isn't your problem....you're just not that hot." But that would be mean, so I don't say it. Trust me, nice guys -- you'd do worse as a jerk.

Following up on the OP post, one of my least favorite expressions is "whipped." Thankfully I don't seem to hear that anymore (or the stupid whip snap sound). That was the bullying term used for guys that were actually respectful to girls and maybe did what the girls wanted them to do -- they were "whipped." Blech and blech. I hope that one is consigned to the dust bin of history.

19:32 that’s the thing, I am super good looking! There were un attractive guys getting way more girls than me. Because I was attractive I’m not saying I never got any attention or comments. But I was still considered nerdy and most of the girls seemed to value certain image/ behavior over looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people overstate the "bad boy" appeal. The only time bad boys are appealing are when they are super good looking. (Ask Danny Trejo how many sexy roles he gets...). And let's be real -- if those guys were super good looking and NICE, they'd be even more popular with women. I think it's just that, if you're super good looking, you can sort of afford to be a jerk. So it's not the jerkiness that is attractive in itself, it's the super hotness. Correlation, not causation. (I feel like that's the answer 70% of the time to every question.) IMHO, it's the not very good looking guys who are always bemoaning "nice guys finish last"....I always sort of want to tell them "Being nice isn't your problem....you're just not that hot." But that would be mean, so I don't say it. Trust me, nice guys -- you'd do worse as a jerk.

Following up on the OP post, one of my least favorite expressions is "whipped." Thankfully I don't seem to hear that anymore (or the stupid whip snap sound). That was the bullying term used for guys that were actually respectful to girls and maybe did what the girls wanted them to do -- they were "whipped." Blech and blech. I hope that one is consigned to the dust bin of history.

19:32 that’s the thing, I am super good looking! There were un attractive guys getting way more girls than me. Because I was attractive I’m not saying I never got any attention or comments. But I was still considered nerdy and most of the girls seemed to value certain image/ behavior over looks.

This is still the case. Women don't want push overs. We want an equal domestic partner who is good with the kids amd cleans house, but when it comes to sex we want a masculine, agressive lover. Doesn't matter how hot you are. Sexual attraction is on a basic level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people overstate the "bad boy" appeal. The only time bad boys are appealing are when they are super good looking. (Ask Danny Trejo how many sexy roles he gets...). And let's be real -- if those guys were super good looking and NICE, they'd be even more popular with women. I think it's just that, if you're super good looking, you can sort of afford to be a jerk. So it's not the jerkiness that is attractive in itself, it's the super hotness. Correlation, not causation. (I feel like that's the answer 70% of the time to every question.) IMHO, it's the not very good looking guys who are always bemoaning "nice guys finish last"....I always sort of want to tell them "Being nice isn't your problem....you're just not that hot." But that would be mean, so I don't say it. Trust me, nice guys -- you'd do worse as a jerk.

Following up on the OP post, one of my least favorite expressions is "whipped." Thankfully I don't seem to hear that anymore (or the stupid whip snap sound). That was the bullying term used for guys that were actually respectful to girls and maybe did what the girls wanted them to do -- they were "whipped." Blech and blech. I hope that one is consigned to the dust bin of history.

19:32 that’s the thing, I am super good looking! There were un attractive guys getting way more girls than me. Because I was attractive I’m not saying I never got any attention or comments. But I was still considered nerdy and most of the girls seemed to value certain image/ behavior over looks.

This is still the case. Women don't want push overs. We want an equal domestic partner who is good with the kids amd cleans house, but when it comes to sex we want a masculine, agressive lover. Doesn't matter how hot you are. Sexual attraction is on a basic level.

And, in our culture anyway, masculine aggression is heavily intertwined with a certain disrespect for women. Even if he's not a dick about it, a manly man is almost always going to regard the feminine as lesser than the masculine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people overstate the "bad boy" appeal. The only time bad boys are appealing are when they are super good looking. (Ask Danny Trejo how many sexy roles he gets...). And let's be real -- if those guys were super good looking and NICE, they'd be even more popular with women. I think it's just that, if you're super good looking, you can sort of afford to be a jerk. So it's not the jerkiness that is attractive in itself, it's the super hotness. Correlation, not causation. (I feel like that's the answer 70% of the time to every question.) IMHO, it's the not very good looking guys who are always bemoaning "nice guys finish last"....I always sort of want to tell them "Being nice isn't your problem....you're just not that hot." But that would be mean, so I don't say it. Trust me, nice guys -- you'd do worse as a jerk.

Following up on the OP post, one of my least favorite expressions is "whipped." Thankfully I don't seem to hear that anymore (or the stupid whip snap sound). That was the bullying term used for guys that were actually respectful to girls and maybe did what the girls wanted them to do -- they were "whipped." Blech and blech. I hope that one is consigned to the dust bin of history.

19:32 that’s the thing, I am super good looking! There were un attractive guys getting way more girls than me. Because I was attractive I’m not saying I never got any attention or comments. But I was still considered nerdy and most of the girls seemed to value certain image/ behavior over looks.

This is still the case. Women don't want push overs. We want an equal domestic partner who is good with the kids amd cleans house, but when it comes to sex we want a masculine, agressive lover. Doesn't matter how hot you are. Sexual attraction is on a basic level.

Me again, was never a push over either. I run my household. I think it was moreso that girls had a hard time seeing through insecure strength versus real strength. Never was whipped, and didn’t do back flips to try to please women. This is what the “bad boys” did in my eyes. Always trying to outshine or undermine rivals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Me again, was never a push over either. I run my household. I think it was moreso that girls had a hard time seeing through insecure strength versus real strength. Never was whipped, and didn’t do back flips to try to please women. This is what the “bad boys” did in my eyes. Always trying to outshine or undermine rivals.

Women often say they like confidence. But, it's displays of confidence that they seem to be attracted to. At least when they're younger. More mature women have more mature tastes. (Or they have fewer options. It's hard to tell sometimes.)