18 y/o DD refuses to apply for SSI?

[Anonymous]

SSI is for low income people who are disabled and can’t work.
Simply having had an IEP in school is not enough to qualify for SSI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened in the transition planning meetings?

Would the library recommend her for a paying job, whether inside the library system or elsewhere?

IDK about the library, but she refused to participate in the transition plan entirely. You just couldn’t get her to talk honestly about her future no matter what she did.

Doesn't sound like you think she has a future. You want her to get quick free money.
She graduated from high school and volunteered. Yet you think she in not capable of anything.

Sounds like you don't know how SSI works. It's definitely not quick. It's also not much. Op, if your kid needs SSI, she has to have less than $2k in assets. If she needs SSI, she probably needs a place to live--waitlist for a group home.

OP here. There is no way she will agree to a group home. She will move in with her boyfriend if I kick her out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened in the transition planning meetings?

Would the library recommend her for a paying job, whether inside the library system or elsewhere?

IDK about the library, but she refused to participate in the transition plan entirely. You just couldn’t get her to talk honestly about her future no matter what she did.

Doesn't sound like you think she has a future. You want her to get quick free money.
She graduated from high school and volunteered. Yet you think she in not capable of anything.

Sounds like you don't know how SSI works. It's definitely not quick. It's also not much. Op, if your kid needs SSI, she has to have less than $2k in assets. If she needs SSI, she probably needs a place to live--waitlist for a group home.

Why can't she live with her mom? Presumably, she has been living there for 18 years.

Group homes are for adults who cannot live independently due to an intellectual disability, not for adults who have no other place to live. We have housing vouchers, section 8, etc. for adults to have a home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened in the transition planning meetings?

Would the library recommend her for a paying job, whether inside the library system or elsewhere?

IDK about the library, but she refused to participate in the transition plan entirely. You just couldn’t get her to talk honestly about her future no matter what she did.

Doesn't sound like you think she has a future. You want her to get quick free money.
She graduated from high school and volunteered. Yet you think she in not capable of anything.

Sounds like you don't know how SSI works. It's definitely not quick. It's also not much. Op, if your kid needs SSI, she has to have less than $2k in assets. If she needs SSI, she probably needs a place to live--waitlist for a group home.

Why can't she live with her mom? Presumably, she has been living there for 18 years.

Group homes are for adults who cannot live independently due to an intellectual disability, not for adults who have no other place to live. We have housing vouchers, section 8, etc. for adults to have a home.

No, just disabilities that prevent them from living independently.

[Anonymous]

Firstly, she does not need to be a parent! Do everything you can to have her adopt, terminate, or whatever, but this is what would be best for the child and her. The boyfriend/dad will not be in the picture for long.

Secondly, stop predetermining her future with labeling her disabled. Remember, self-fulfilling prophecies. Yikes, poor girl. You are not helping her with that attitude.

She is 18 chronologically, but emotionally, psychologically, socially, she's about 13. Let her stay with you. Guide her as you would any young teen. Get her into a program at something like https://www.wwrc.net/VocationalEvaluation.htm
as an example. They can determine what is appropriate. Has she had psych/educational testing before?

[Anonymous]

ssi is a max of $750 a month in 2018 and if you're providing food and shelter for her there will be a 1/3 reduction, so $500 a month.

Better to have her try voc rehab, or just looking for a job--at $10 an hour she'd only have to work 50 hours a month to do as well as SSI. Plenty of people with ADHD do ok with a fast food job or something similar that doesn't require more than HS education. If voc rehab says she's too severely impaired to help, or if she tries work and can't keep a job because of disabilities, it will make the SSI claim stronger and she might even work enough to be insured for SSDI (which comes with Medicare entitlement and no asset cap).

Also, she's an adult. Unless you go to court and become her legal guardian (which is going to require the court to find that she's incompetent) you can't make her file for SSI. You can tell her she has to pay rent to live with you, and you can kick her out of your house, but that's about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened in the transition planning meetings?

Would the library recommend her for a paying job, whether inside the library system or elsewhere?

IDK about the library, but she refused to participate in the transition plan entirely. You just couldn’t get her to talk honestly about her future no matter what she did.

Doesn't sound like you think she has a future. You want her to get quick free money.
She graduated from high school and volunteered. Yet you think she in not capable of anything.

Sounds like you don't know how SSI works. It's definitely not quick. It's also not much. Op, if your kid needs SSI, she has to have less than $2k in assets. If she needs SSI, she probably needs a place to live--waitlist for a group home.

OP here. There is no way she will agree to a group home. She will move in with her boyfriend if I kick her out.

Op, I'm not suggesting that you kick her out at all. I'm suggesting that you help her plan for the future.

I'm guessing that executive functioning isn't your dd's strong suit. Does she know how to budget? Start going through your household budget in a way that your dd can learn from you whether you use a ledger or financial software. Applying for ssi or not is only one tiny part of the picture.

[Anonymous]

OP - Your post is a bit confusing or it may be that there are two different girls mentioned. However, from what I gather your daughter is 18, had an IEP for ADHD and/or a learning disability, but did graduate with a regular high school diploma. Since graduation, she has been volunteering at a library and seeing her BF. She is now six weeks pregnant. You have talked to her about getting a job, but she does not seem interested. You have also heard of SSI with the monthly cash benefit and think she ought to at least apply to see if she is eligible as a possible means of support, especially if she does not want to work.

Most importantly, if this is one and the same young girl, you need to focus on establishing a positive means of communication with DD because your first concern must be for her health (physical and possibly mental as she might just be scared at being pregnant and unable to proceed in any direction.) You need to encourage her to see an OB or at least her primary care doctor so that she can discuss with her doctor how to proceed for the care she and her baby may need - based in great part on her ability to pay - in terms of where she can go. Also, it may be time for her to see a therapist to help her sort out her various issues.

I think you also have to judge how much BF is going to want or is going to be interested in being a part of her life and any decision-making about what she may be going to be doing. You are not the only one now who has DD's ear.

I agree with the prior poster(s) who have indicated to you that SSI is a means of support for individuals who in terms of a disability are truly unable to find and maintain a job. With a high school diploma, your DD would at least need to have a track record of being unable to find AND keep a job to even think about qualifying. It would make a lot more sense to connect her with the Department of Rehab or Vocational Services in your area to request an assessment to see if she would qualify for job support services or not The assessment is FREE and any services offered would be based upon her income at age 18 now "as a family of one." Of course, the key is to get DD to agree to
pursue this course.

It sounds like you are realizing that DD has a lot coming at her suddenly which could well impact you and so perhaps you, too, could use some outside counseling on how to proceed. Your daughter has made some decisions on what she wants to do and what she does not want to be doing, and you can't just assume you can tell her what to do and the pieces will all fall together. I know well as I have a good friend in the metro area who is dealing with DD, her DH and a baby in her home, and basically ending up taking care of all three as neither young adult has the ability to be a parent first, and they are age 30. So get help to straighten things out now as you can for DD and set your limits or it will go on and on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP - Your post is a bit confusing or it may be that there are two different girls mentioned. However, from what I gather your daughter is 18, had an IEP for ADHD and/or a learning disability, but did graduate with a regular high school diploma. Since graduation, she has been volunteering at a library and seeing her BF. She is now six weeks pregnant. You have talked to her about getting a job, but she does not seem interested. You have also heard of SSI with the monthly cash benefit and think she ought to at least apply to see if she is eligible as a possible means of support, especially if she does not want to work.

Most importantly, if this is one and the same young girl, you need to focus on establishing a positive means of communication with DD because your first concern must be for her health (physical and possibly mental as she might just be scared at being pregnant and unable to proceed in any direction.) You need to encourage her to see an OB or at least her primary care doctor so that she can discuss with her doctor how to proceed for the care she and her baby may need - based in great part on her ability to pay - in terms of where she can go. Also, it may be time for her to see a therapist to help her sort out her various issues.

I think you also have to judge how much BF is going to want or is going to be interested in being a part of her life and any decision-making about what she may be going to be doing. You are not the only one now who has DD's ear.

I agree with the prior poster(s) who have indicated to you that SSI is a means of support for individuals who in terms of a disability are truly unable to find and maintain a job. With a high school diploma, your DD would at least need to have a track record of being unable to find AND keep a job to even think about qualifying. It would make a lot more sense to connect her with the Department of Rehab or Vocational Services in your area to request an assessment to see if she would qualify for job support services or not The assessment is FREE and any services offered would be based upon her income at age 18 now "as a family of one." Of course, the key is to get DD to agree to
pursue this course.

It sounds like you are realizing that DD has a lot coming at her suddenly which could well impact you and so perhaps you, too, could use some outside counseling on how to proceed. Your daughter has made some decisions on what she wants to do and what she does not want to be doing, and you can't just assume you can tell her what to do and the pieces will all fall together. I know well as I have a good friend in the metro area who is dealing with DD, her DH and a baby in her home, and basically ending up taking care of all three as neither young adult has the ability to be a parent first, and they are age 30. So get help to straighten things out now as you can for DD and set your limits or it will go on and on.

OP here. My daughter is not 6 weeks pregnant but does have a boyfriend and refuses to apply for SSI.

[Anonymous]

https://www.disabilitysecrets.com/page1-9.html

"It is very difficult for an adult with ADHD (without other conditions) to convince the SSA that they cannot do at least unskilled work. For more information, see our article on how your mental RFC determines whether you get disability benefits."


OP your daughter has a high school diploma and is able to volunteer at the library. It's going to be very difficult for her to prove she's unable to work. I don't think it is realistic. You need to think of something else.

[Anonymous]

OP - Sorry, but it was confusing with a second parent I guess talking about a daughter pregnant. My advice still stands that you and DD have to find a way to communicate without you trying to plan all options for her and based upon your expectations; but alsowith her living in your home and saying she will basically do just what she wants to do. A 3rd party professional working with both of you might be able to devise a path that works for both of you. To be treated as an adult, DD has to realize Itnis not a one-way street of her wishes only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: DD is 18 and graduated high school. She has been volunteering at the library since April, selling donated books, toys and jewelry. She refuses to apply for SSI, but I don’t think she is capable of getting a job. She is disorganized. Her therapist also suggested she apply for SSI but she refuses. She tells us she won’t be approved but we tell her you never know when less you try and it’s ok if she doesn’t get approved, though I think she will get approved. She was in special ed and my friend whose son was also in special ed told me I can give SSI her special education records and she will be approved. Problem is she won’t sigh record releases. Every time I talk about SSI she gets mad. When she was in school I called the counselor to talk to her about this, and not to tell her they will be talking about SSI. When she was called in to the counselors office and found out they were going to talk about SSI, she immediately stormed out. She refuses to listen to anyone. I told her in order to get a good paying job you have to do an internship first for 1-2 years and even people who do an internship for 1-2 years or more have trouble finding a minimum wage job. At least with SSI she will have money. She is flat out against this and will be upset anytime I talk to her about SSI. I am think perhaps hearing from someone her age also applying or on SSI will her. I was a teenager along time ago and I forgot what it’s like to be a teenager, so I don’t know how to talk to her in a way that will reach her. Any suggestions?

What are you even talking about here? What 1-2 year internships ?

Where is it hard to find a minimum wage job? Not in any decent cities. She would need to learn to show up every day on time, ready to work.
Did her high school not have any kind of job training program?


She doesn't sound ssi eligible. You have to prove that you can't do ANY job and that doesn't sound like her. You also have to answer endless questions about your incompetence in all areas (intellectually, physically, emotionally) . She would then probably be referred to a government psychiatrist for an evaluation to discuss such incompetence and her lack of abilities. Of course she stormed out - what is wrong with you that you think this is a good idea for her?

Make sure she gets some kind of good birth control - what about an IUD?
And get her into some kind of job training program or just have her start working part time.

She would have to express incompetence in all of these areas to get SSI:
https://www.ssa.gov/forms/ssa-3373-bk.pdf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: DD is 18 and graduated high school. She has been volunteering at the library since April, selling donated books, toys and jewelry. She refuses to apply for SSI, but I don’t think she is capable of getting a job. She is disorganized. Her therapist also suggested she apply for SSI but she refuses. She tells us she won’t be approved but we tell her you never know when less you try and it’s ok if she doesn’t get approved, though I think she will get approved. She was in special ed and my friend whose son was also in special ed told me I can give SSI her special education records and she will be approved. Problem is she won’t sigh record releases. Every time I talk about SSI she gets mad. When she was in school I called the counselor to talk to her about this, and not to tell her they will be talking about SSI. When she was called in to the counselors office and found out they were going to talk about SSI, she immediately stormed out. She refuses to listen to anyone. I told her in order to get a good paying job you have to do an internship first for 1-2 years and even people who do an internship for 1-2 years or more have trouble finding a minimum wage job. At least with SSI she will have money. She is flat out against this and will be upset anytime I talk to her about SSI. I am think perhaps hearing from someone her age also applying or on SSI will her. I was a teenager along time ago and I forgot what it’s like to be a teenager, so I don’t know how to talk to her in a way that will reach her. Any suggestions?

Can someone with ADHD apply for SSI? My DD is 18 and is job hunting right now. she is 6 weeks pregnant right now......

Have her fill out this form, detailing her deficiencies. Can she feed herself? What about toileting?

https://www.ssa.gov/forms/ssa-3373-bk.pdf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ssi is a max of $750 a month in 2018 and if you're providing food and shelter for her there will be a 1/3 reduction, so $500 a month.

Better to have her try voc rehab, or just looking for a job--at $10 an hour she'd only have to work 50 hours a month to do as well as SSI. Plenty of people with ADHD do ok with a fast food job or something similar that doesn't require more than HS education. If voc rehab says she's too severely impaired to help, or if she tries work and can't keep a job because of disabilities, it will make the SSI claim stronger and she might even work enough to be insured for SSDI (which comes with Medicare entitlement and no asset cap).

Also, she's an adult. Unless you go to court and become her legal guardian (which is going to require the court to find that she's incompetent) you can't make her file for SSI. You can tell her she has to pay rent to live with you, and you can kick her out of your house, but that's about it.

If she pays her mom a modest amount of rent it goes back up to $750

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP - Sorry, but it was confusing with a second parent I guess talking about a daughter pregnant. My advice still stands that you and DD have to find a way to communicate without you trying to plan all options for her and based upon your expectations; but alsowith her living in your home and saying she will basically do just what she wants to do. A 3rd party professional working with both of you might be able to devise a path that works for both of you. To be treated as an adult, DD has to realize Itnis not a one-way street of her wishes only.

There are two year residential college programs for disabled high school graduates where she could take some light classes, and socialize and continue growing up with her peers. Or to even learn a trade.

https://blog.ed.gov/2015/09/college-programs-for-students-with-disabilities-are-changing-culture/

https://www.ucmo.edu/thrive/

Would you say she is developmentally disabled?