Would you call him back or ghost him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a person of integrity or an asshole? Act like a grown up and tell him you aren't interested...and don't jump on men who ghost women if this is your attitude.

+1

Our society doesn’t need to be any coarser than it already is.

Society Alonso needs people who pay attention to NAMES.

Especially Alonso, definitely pay attention to Alonso.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a person of integrity or an asshole? Act like a grown up and tell him you aren't interested...and don't jump on men who ghost women if this is your attitude.

+1

Our society doesn’t need to be any coarser than it already is.

Society Alonso needs people who pay attention to NAMES.

Especially Alonso, definitely pay attention to Alonso.

LOL that was too perfect. I'm dying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you went on a so-so afternoon date with a guy, and he called you later that evening and left a message asking you out again, only he called you the wrong name, would you even call him back?

So this happened to me. Date was ok, but left me sort of meh. Guy called me later that evening, but called me another name: “Hey Jen, had a great time at XYZ. Some friends and I are going to blah blah this weekend and I’d love for you to come!” Only I’m not Jen, I’m Beth. The call was sort of a turn off/ thing I needed to know I didn’t want to see him again. And I ghosted him. Never thought I’d see him again, but I did today. We ignored each other. I was telling a friend about this, and she was shocked I didn’t call to correct my name, at the least. I told her if he couldn’t even remember my name, how into me could he have really been.

What do you think?

Is your name Beth and the other name Jen? Or names equally as different? Or is more like Ava and Eva? or Cara and Keira?

I typically save ghosting for truly abhorrent behavior. And while calling you the wrong name was rude it was not ghosting worthy in my opinion.

It seems you weren't into seeing hi again so why not just say that " Thanks for the coffee or whatever, but the chemistry isn't there."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm terrible with names so I might not have held it against him if I liked him, but used it as a reason to move on if I didn't. I also think that people who act shocked by 'ghosting' after one or two dates are a little theatrical and tiresome. Disappearing on someone you've dated for six months is "ghosting," not returning a first date's call is the only answer that person needs. You'd met this guy once, you didn't owe him a breakup scene.

A no thanks. Not feeling the chemistry is hardly a break up scene.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Text hiim back and let him know he meant to contact Jen. See what he says.

This. I would have been cheeky about it something like. " I don't know if Jen wants to go, but I'm game." His response would be interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm terrible with names so I might not have held it against him if I liked him, but used it as a reason to move on if I didn't. I also think that people who act shocked by 'ghosting' after one or two dates are a little theatrical and tiresome. Disappearing on someone you've dated for six months is "ghosting," not returning a first date's call is the only answer that person needs. You'd met this guy once, you didn't owe him a breakup scene.

A no thanks. Not feeling the chemistry is hardly a break up scene.

It certainly doesn't have to be, but I had guys try to argue/negotiate for another chance or get really hateful when they get the bland "thanks but I'm not sure we're a match" text. Really funny how quickly they can swing from "I have tickets to X do you want to go" to "I was doing you a favor anyway you fat bitch" when you say no, and it's impossible to guess which guys are *that* guy on so little information. I found that not responding to a text or email gave the same amount of information ("I am not interested") and usually actually ended the encounter. Like I said, I'm talking about people you've met once or twice, not someone you were in a relationship with: it's not ghosting to stop talking to someone you were barely talking to in the first place.

And to forestall the ineveitable: yes I had guys not respond to my "that was fun do you want to set something up for Thursday" texts and it was fine. Gave me the information I needed (no, he does not want to) and wasn't heartbreaking or anything because it was a first date! No one should be that invested at that point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Text hiim back and let him know he meant to contact Jen. See what he says.

This. I would have been cheeky about it something like. " I don't know if Jen wants to go, but I'm game." His response would be interesting.

+1. I’m not one to immediately assume it was a mistake, but it sounds like it might have been just a mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm terrible with names so I might not have held it against him if I liked him, but used it as a reason to move on if I didn't. I also think that people who act shocked by 'ghosting' after one or two dates are a little theatrical and tiresome. Disappearing on someone you've dated for six months is "ghosting," not returning a first date's call is the only answer that person needs. You'd met this guy once, you didn't owe him a breakup scene.

A no thanks. Not feeling the chemistry is hardly a break up scene.

It certainly doesn't have to be, but I had guys try to argue/negotiate for another chance or get really hateful when they get the bland "thanks but I'm not sure we're a match" text. Really funny how quickly they can swing from "I have tickets to X do you want to go" to "I was doing you a favor anyway you fat bitch" when you say no, and it's impossible to guess which guys are *that* guy on so little information. I found that not responding to a text or email gave the same amount of information ("I am not interested") and usually actually ended the encounter. Like I said, I'm talking about people you've met once or twice, not someone you were in a relationship with: it's not ghosting to stop talking to someone you were barely talking to in the first place.

And to forestall the ineveitable: yes I had guys not respond to my "that was fun do you want to set something up for Thursday" texts and it was fine. Gave me the information I needed (no, he does not want to) and wasn't heartbreaking or anything because it was a first date! No one should be that invested at that point.

I agree with the above. If it will make you feel better you could send him a "it was nice to meet you, but I'm not feeling it" text. Personally it's fine with me to just hear nothing after one or two dates. The times I've gotten a "I wish you all the best in life" message, it felt like too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a person of integrity or an asshole? Act like a grown up and tell him you aren't interested...and don't jump on men who ghost women if this is your attitude.

+1

Our society doesn’t need to be any coarser than it already is.

+ 2 Basic manners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a person of integrity or an asshole? Act like a grown up and tell him you aren't interested...and don't jump on men who ghost women if this is your attitude.

+1

Our society doesn’t need to be any coarser than it already is.

Society Alonso needs people who pay attention to NAMES.

Especially Alonso, definitely pay attention to Alonso.

LOL that was too perfect. I'm dying.

LOVE IT.

OP, call him back. Don't be rude. Don't ghost anyone. It's just not nice.

[Anonymous]

I think texting back would have been a right thing to do. You would be in the right then, and any future situations wouldn't be awkward. After all texting takes few seconds. It was immature not to text back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm terrible with names so I might not have held it against him if I liked him, but used it as a reason to move on if I didn't. I also think that people who act shocked by 'ghosting' after one or two dates are a little theatrical and tiresome. Disappearing on someone you've dated for six months is "ghosting," not returning a first date's call is the only answer that person needs. You'd met this guy once, you didn't owe him a breakup scene.

A no thanks. Not feeling the chemistry is hardly a break up scene.

It certainly doesn't have to be, but I had guys try to argue/negotiate for another chance or get really hateful when they get the bland "thanks but I'm not sure we're a match" text. Really funny how quickly they can swing from "I have tickets to X do you want to go" to "I was doing you a favor anyway you fat bitch" when you say no, and it's impossible to guess which guys are *that* guy on so little information. I found that not responding to a text or email gave the same amount of information ("I am not interested") and usually actually ended the encounter. Like I said, I'm talking about people you've met once or twice, not someone you were in a relationship with: it's not ghosting to stop talking to someone you were barely talking to in the first place.

And to forestall the ineveitable: yes I had guys not respond to my "that was fun do you want to set something up for Thursday" texts and it was fine. Gave me the information I needed (no, he does not want to) and wasn't heartbreaking or anything because it was a first date! No one should be that invested at that point.

You think I haven't had guys turn stupid on me? Potential bad behavior of someone else doesn't absolve you from behaving like a decent human being in my opinion. If after you tell him no thanks no chemistry and he chooses to respond rudely you can feel free to ignore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm terrible with names so I might not have held it against him if I liked him, but used it as a reason to move on if I didn't. I also think that people who act shocked by 'ghosting' after one or two dates are a little theatrical and tiresome. Disappearing on someone you've dated for six months is "ghosting," not returning a first date's call is the only answer that person needs. You'd met this guy once, you didn't owe him a breakup scene.

A no thanks. Not feeling the chemistry is hardly a break up scene.

It certainly doesn't have to be, but I had guys try to argue/negotiate for another chance or get really hateful when they get the bland "thanks but I'm not sure we're a match" text. Really funny how quickly they can swing from "I have tickets to X do you want to go" to "I was doing you a favor anyway you fat bitch" when you say no, and it's impossible to guess which guys are *that* guy on so little information. I found that not responding to a text or email gave the same amount of information ("I am not interested") and usually actually ended the encounter. Like I said, I'm talking about people you've met once or twice, not someone you were in a relationship with: it's not ghosting to stop talking to someone you were barely talking to in the first place.

And to forestall the ineveitable: yes I had guys not respond to my "that was fun do you want to set something up for Thursday" texts and it was fine. Gave me the information I needed (no, he does not want to) and wasn't heartbreaking or anything because it was a first date! No one should be that invested at that point.

You think I haven't had guys turn stupid on me? Potential bad behavior of someone else doesn't absolve you from behaving like a decent human being in my opinion. If after you tell him no thanks no chemistry and he chooses to respond rudely you can feel free to ignore.

I have no idea who you are, but based on this post I do think you're theatrical and tiresome, as I said initially.

[Anonymous]

Be the person you want to be. I totally understand you not appreciating being called by the wrong name, and for not wanting to go out again after a so-so date. Fine. But take the higher road and be polite. I'd text and confirm receipt of his message but indicate you appreciate having met him but you're not interested in getting together again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Text hiim back and let him know he meant to contact Jen. See what he says.

This. I would have been cheeky about it something like. " I don't know if Jen wants to go, but I'm game." His response would be interesting.

+1. I’m not one to immediately assume it was a mistake, but it sounds like it might have been just a mistake.

+2 Especially if I wasn't interested. Probably would have texted something like "Hey, you called Beth. If you want to get together with Jen you should try again because doesn't know you tried to get in touch. Hope you guys have fun! "