When should parents intervene in college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Basically never. If they can't fight minimal battles like this by the time they're in college, it's long past time to learn.

+1 You've created this strawman where your child is 100% right and the professor is 100% wrong....this is rarely the case. Regardless, it's your child's responsibility to solve their own problems. Your involvement would reflect very poorly on your child.

Yes, his. If they are mature enough to go to college, they should be dealing with this by themselves. When they get a job they will get a bad boss or two and will have to figure out how to deal with them.

I can just picture it. OP going to upper management at Larla's first job to complain that her direct supervisor is incompetent.

[Anonymous]

If you paid $40K for a car that turned out to be a lemon, would you say "well, life's not fair, guess I'll have to accept it" or would you be raising holy heck over it? That's my point for this -- we let colleges off the hook on too many things because "students need to deal with it" or "they need to learn life's not fair" or similar platitudes that do nothing to fix the underlying problem. Poor performance isn't acceptable in other walks of life -- why is it acceptable in education?

[Anonymous]

This jan why I quit teaching.

[Anonymous]

^is obviously

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you paid $40K for a car that turned out to be a lemon, would you say "well, life's not fair, guess I'll have to accept it" or would you be raising holy heck over it? That's my point for this -- we let colleges off the hook on too many things because "students need to deal with it" or "they need to learn life's not fair" or similar platitudes that do nothing to fix the underlying problem. Poor performance isn't acceptable in other walks of life -- why is it acceptable in education?

Well, if I gave my kid 40k to spend on a car and it turned out to be a lemon, it would be her problem to deal with.

But I do get your point a little better now. (I was one of the harsh PPs).

I still don't think it would be a parent intervention thing though. If you think the school isn't fulfilling the expected value, you can either have D.C. switch schools or you can encourage DC to advocate for change. From a legal perspective, you don't really have any standing with this issue. Even though you foot the bill, you are like a silent investor.

[Anonymous]

Hopefully tutoring help is available somewhere on campus (often free of charge). Professors usually have office hours, too.

Does the syllabus indicate any resources that students can use for additional practice and tutoring?

Check the professor's reviews on Rate My Professor. There will often be insights regarding how to succeed in a particular class.

[Anonymous]

If grading appears to be "arbitrary and capricious" your kid needs to talk to the professor about it directly. Find out what they can do better next time.

Out of curiosity what type of class is this?

[Anonymous]

Sound Like Daddy is doing his kids college homework and he doesn't like a grade he got. I taught at William and Mary and yes, this happened!!

[Anonymous]

the underlying problem

what are you blithering about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you paid $40K for a car that turned out to be a lemon, would you say "well, life's not fair, guess I'll have to accept it" or would you be raising holy heck over it? That's my point for this -- we let colleges off the hook on too many things because "students need to deal with it" or "they need to learn life's not fair" or similar platitudes that do nothing to fix the underlying problem. Poor performance isn't acceptable in other walks of life -- why is it acceptable in education?

I have never encountered totally arbitrary and capricious grading of the sort you are describing, and it's difficult to imagine how a student could make this assessment. It seems like an excuse that is often used when he or she doesn't like his or her grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you paid $40K for a car that turned out to be a lemon, would you say "well, life's not fair, guess I'll have to accept it" or would you be raising holy heck over it? That's my point for this -- we let colleges off the hook on too many things because "students need to deal with it" or "they need to learn life's not fair" or similar platitudes that do nothing to fix the underlying problem. Poor performance isn't acceptable in other walks of life -- why is it acceptable in education?

Well, comparing a college where a student will likely have over 30 different professors over 4 years to a car is not an appropriate analogy.

[Anonymous]

At this point in the semester, there is no way the student has made multiple visits to the professor's office hours, had several tutoring sessions, and talked to her advisor about next steps.

I used to teach, and the only times parental contact was appropriate were Parents Weekend and cases when the child was hospitalized. Otherwise, you really need to let your kid handle it.

(Also, although I had some professors from whom I would never take another class, none of them was completely incompetent.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Basically never. If they can't fight minimal battles like this by the time they're in college, it's long past time to learn.

Agreed. What comes next...intervening at work?

[Anonymous]

" Op, I realized it was part of my job to mold myself to the style of teaching. If your child thinks a grade is arbitrary, she probably isn't fully comprehending the assignments, and not paying attention to what the professor is looking for. And so it's her job to seek clarification."

This. I think the BEST learning experiences in college come when students think the prof is grading arbitrarily. Many times in your life, you will think the person you are dealing with is doing something crazy but you have to work with them. It may sound like a cliched movie plot but there is almost always a method to the prof's madness. How can I be so sure? Well there are enough parents like the OP that would go nuts in this situation. That means that the prof has been called to the carpet for this reason before but they are still there so several people bought the explanation.

[Anonymous]

LOL at the idea that the grading is arbitrary and has no relationship to the material.

When is it appropriate for a parent to reach out to a prof or the administration about a class? Only if there is something like sexual abuse occurring. Then it would be OK. Otherwise, no.

Profs are monitored through their teaching evals. Your kid should provide feedback there if she does not enjoy the class.