I ended playdate abruptly - Guest topped my son in a sexual position - WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you handled it well. I would not allow my child to play with these kids anymore.

Re: CPS, I don't know. I don't know if they're being abused or are in a house where more explicit tv/movies/video games are often on in the background.

It is abusive to show a 9 year old a video with explicit sexual positions such as 69.

NP. Even in a situation where a child "accidentally" sees porn, and no adult is forcing it one him, that alone is very unlikely to cause the child to act out the behavior with another child.

[Anonymous]

This thread is a good reminder of what we all should be watching for in these situations. Do they attend the same school? I would have a school counselor investigate before calling CPS. Only because that would give the opportunity to be investigated by a mandatory reporter before going all-out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is a good reminder of what we all should be watching for in these situations. Do they attend the same school? I would have a school counselor investigate before calling CPS. Only because that would give the opportunity to be investigated by a mandatory reporter before going all-out.

Yep, that's exactly the avenue I'm thinking would be best. They do attend the same school so I'll go that route

[Anonymous]

I empathize with you for your initial response. Given my own experience of knowing how kids have behaved and subsequently it was found out abuse was occurred defiinitely follow up with authorities . Better to talk with mother although not always the case

[Anonymous]

When boys play-wrestle they often wind up in 69, that may be why your son didn't stop what was happening.

[Anonymous]

Definitely call CPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is a good reminder of what we all should be watching for in these situations. Do they attend the same school? I would have a school counselor investigate before calling CPS. Only because that would give the opportunity to be investigated by a mandatory reporter before going all-out.

Yep, that's exactly the avenue I'm thinking would be best. They do attend the same school so I'll go that route

Since the incident occurred in your home when school wasn't even in session (presumably), the counselor won't investigate. In fact, school staff are specifically taught not to investigate when abuse or neglect is suspected. They are just mandated to report to CPS. So basically by involving the school counselor you're just shifting the responsibility of calling CPS from you to them.

[Anonymous]

I think that this all sounds odd. The boy was doing something sexual with the apple? He was MOANING on top of your son? I agree with the PP who said kids can be playing/wrestling and end up in a position like you described....I've just never, ever interpreted that to be kids mimicking 69'ing.

[Anonymous]

New survivor of CSA -- I would bet money that boy is being abused. Most likely the abuse includes viewing pornography, which is very common when men abuse boys.

Please call CPS and report exactly what you witnessed. You will sleep better knowing you did something to help.

[Anonymous]

I would call the school counselor and CPS. They will investigate contrary to what a PP stated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would call the school counselor and CPS. They will investigate contrary to what a PP stated.

This

[Anonymous]

The incident did not happen at school. I would not involve the school counselor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would call the school counselor and CPS. They will investigate contrary to what a PP stated.

CPS will certainly investigate. The school will not investigate something that happened at a private home over the summer. Also, schools do not investigate suspicion of child abuse. They let the professionals do that. Schools holding their own investigations can actually impede CPS and law enforcement investigations so they are told not to investigate such claims, just to make the report. Why is that difficult to understand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would call the school counselor and CPS. They will investigate contrary to what a PP stated.

CPS will certainly investigate. The school will not investigate something that happened at a private home over the summer. Also, schools do not investigate suspicion of child abuse. They let the professionals do that. Schools holding their own investigations can actually impede CPS and law enforcement investigations so they are told not to investigate such claims, just to make the report. Why is that difficult to understand?

Why would they investigate? What is there to investigate?

Believe it or not when kids have older siblings they observe and see things and try and figure out what things are "cool" not only to impress their older sibling but also their own friends. Could be the older sibling and his friends were talking about it, laughing and the younger kid thinks it's something cool so tries to show off to his friend.

I think the OP made the right decision. Ended the play date and moved on. Sometimes that's all that needs to be done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would call the school counselor and CPS. They will investigate contrary to what a PP stated.

CPS will certainly investigate. The school will not investigate something that happened at a private home over the summer. Also, schools do not investigate suspicion of child abuse. They let the professionals do that. Schools holding their own investigations can actually impede CPS and law enforcement investigations so they are told not to investigate such claims, just to make the report. Why is that difficult to understand?

Why would they investigate? What is there to investigate?

Believe it or not when kids have older siblings they observe and see things and try and figure out what things are "cool" not only to impress their older sibling but also their own friends. Could be the older sibling and his friends were talking about it, laughing and the younger kid thinks it's something cool so tries to show off to his friend.

I think the OP made the right decision. Ended the play date and moved on. Sometimes that's all that needs to be done.

NO, NO, NO... my half sister was sexually abused by her father for years- there were signs, people just dismissed- thought they were over thinking it... so much better to call CPS